December 21, 2007

Merry Christmas

I'm out for a while, so Merry Christmas.

December 13, 2007

Band concert

I think the only way you can experience the joy of my daughter's band concert last night is to watch a little clip for yourself. It's truly a thing of beauty. video

And before you all go thinking I'm just a hard-hearted bitch, I actually thought these kids did an incredible job considering that they have only been playing their instruments since October. This is the beginning band and everything is brand new for them.

December 12, 2007

Kids singing makes me laugh.

Last night was my daughter's annual school Christmas concert and it provided its normal level of unintentional hilarity. Kids, for the most part, just can't sing well. It all sounds fine when a bunch of them sing together, but when you've only got one or two, it's not usually pleasant. It's funny listening to them straining to hit high notes or struggling just to stay on key. I don't know why it's funny, it just is. My daughter happened to be an instrumentalist for one of the songs--she played the triangle, and she was rocking it. The only thing that really detracted from her performance was that her slip was hanging out from under her dress, but I'm probably the only who really noticed since I'm her mother. The other thing I really love about the Christmas concert is the "choreography." You know, the hand movements they do along with the songs. Anyway, their music teacher is really fond of hand-raising. Ever single song had some kind of hand raising in it. This year she got kind of daring and had the kids do modified waves (like the kind you see spectators do at sporting events) across the stage. It was spectacular, as I'm sure you can imagine. Tonight is my daughter's band concert. She's in beginning band, so I'm sure this will just add another element of holiday fun I will come to cherish. I'm taking earplugs.

December 05, 2007

Questions and answers

My friend Ed posted these questions on his blog, so I'm copying them because I want to. He invited people to post their own answers, and I'll do the same. Obviously, the answers here are mine.

What is your favorite word?

I don't know that I have a favorite word. However, I do like aigoo, which is a Korean expression of general aggravation or frustration. Like if someone does something really stupid, you'd say aigoo with as much disdain as possible. Oh, and I like schmegma a lot, too, because it's exactly what it sounds like. Most people don't realize that schmegma is the actual, clinical word for dick cheese.

What is your least favorite word?

Puce. It just sounds gross. You almost have to half puke to say it.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Hmm. I'm going to say it's probably the small moments in life. I spend a lot of time looking at the sky, at the ground, and just around in general when I'm walking because that's when you notice things like squirrels chasing each other, or a glove that someone dropped in the snow, or a bird's nest in a tree you can only see when the leaves have fallen off. That's where you find the larger meaning of things, I think.

What turns you off?

Stupidity and poor moral character.

What is your favorite curse word?

Filthy bastard. It's just fun and it makes me smile.

What sound or noise do you love?

I like listening to my daughter laugh.

What sound or noise do you hate?

I hate listening to my daughter whine.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

An actress. It's what I always wanted to be and if I could count on getting paid for doing it, I'd still do it. Alas, acting is such an uneven profession, you can't count on anything. Or I'd like to have a job where I work with my hands.

What profession would you not like to do?

The person who has to empty port-o-potties, or dig up burst septic tanks.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I don't know that he'd have to say anything. I'd just be happy I got to heaven because it's questionable right now where I'll end up.

November 29, 2007

Podcast #23

We're here with another episode of Conversations with Korean Celt. The girls and I talk to a special guest in the studio.


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November 28, 2007

Hilarious

I went and elfed my family at Office Space, or Office Max, or Office Depot. I don't know, all those places are the same to me. Click the image to see the video. It's pretty darn funny if you ask me. Of course, you might not be as amused. You know what will amuse you, though? That's right, my t-shirts at my cafepress store. Click the link on the right. Damn, it's Christmas people. Don't you have to buy gifts or something. Just buy them already.

November 26, 2007

If you've got money to burn, please just give it to me.

This article was posted at the New York Post site. It's about a new lipstick that's come out with the hefty price tag of $62,000. That's right, I said sixty-two THOUSAND dollars.


KISS $62K GOODBYE
PRICEY LIPSTICK IS COLOR OF MONEY

By DANICA LO


November 23, 2007 -- IMAGINE having a lipstick so expensive that every single after-dinner touch-up costs you hundreds of dollars - per lip. This week, French cosmetics house Guerlain - lipstick innovators since the 1920s - launches KissKiss Gold and Diamonds - a $62,000 lip color wrapped in a 110-gram, 18-karat gold tube encrusted with 199 conflict-free diamonds weighing 2.2 carats, rubies and emeralds. It can be custom-engraved and will be sold exclusively through private consultations at Bergdorf Goodman.


Whew. At this price, we're hoping the lipstick comes with a built-in Mr. Right (for kissing, obv) and the consultation will buy our kids admission to Princeton.

For the price of 310,000 Wendy's chicken nuggets, a 2007 Cadillac Escalade, or nearly 400,000 Harry Potter Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans from Dylan's Candy Bar, lipstick lovers are granted a personal appointment with Olivier Echaudemaison, Guerlain's artistic director, and a custom-made shade housed - along with its own lip brush and protective black suede pouch - in a black lacquered case.

Counting pennies? Save on the $5,192.50 sales tax by having the store ship it - for a nominal $12.75 fee - out of state. Now that's a bargain.

Seriously, maybe the real reason French women don't get fat is because they can't afford to eat and mess up their lipstick.

Make appointments now for consultations beginning Dec. 1 at Guerlain, Bergdorf Goodman, by calling (212) 872-2734.



As you can see, this is totally worth $62,000. All I'm saying is if you've got this kind of money to spend on a lipstick, give it to me. You obviously have a hard time coming up with useful ways to spend your money, so just give it to me so I can buy my kid a freaking Wii, which I'm trying desperately to raise the funds for by selling t-shirts at cafepress.com. Click the link to the side. And once I'm done buying the Wii, I can use the rest to send her to college.

November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving. Now buy stuff from me.

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you're well on your way to stuffing yourself silly. I'm about to get my own cooking underway here, but I just wanted to take a moment to wish the best of this day to all of you and remind you that tomorrow is the unofficial start of the Christmas shopping season—as if you didn't already know that. Which leads me to wonder about what would make an excellent Christmas gift. It is a dilemma. Hmmmm. Hey, you know what just occurred to me? Any one of my excellent shirts at my excellent cafepress store would make an awesome gift for that special someone in your life.






I have to say, at this point, I really don't know what you're waiting for. Someone who is not a friend of mine or related to me already bought something. I mean, people are realizing the genius at work here.

In other news, I've been coerced into being in another play. I'm going to be a courtesan in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. It should be fun. I get to wear bells and cymbals, which is always a good time. Anyway, have a great day and I hope you puke from eating so much.

November 21, 2007

Take back the night

You know, some stuff you just can't make up. And this article about the Rapex female condom is one of those things. This is a post from The First Post about this new device which is designed to prevent rape. It's basically a female condom that is lined with tiny razors that cut and bury themselves into the rapist's penis upon penetration. I say good to the woman who invented this. And I don't care if the rapist ends up with a mangled piece of roadkill hanging from between his legs for the rest of his life because he deserves it.


Rape: now women can bite back

The words of a rape victim - "If only I had teeth down there" - have inspired the design of a new anti-rape device.

Rapex - dubbed the 'rape trap' - is a product worn internally by women. The hollow inside is lined with rows of razor-sharp hooks, which are designed to latch on to a rapist's penis during penetration. They can only be removed by a doctor.

The product will be on the shelves of South African chemists and supermarkets later this month. South African mother-of-two Sonette Ehlers developed the original prototype in 2005 but has struggled to get it patented and approved for sale, not least because of staunch opposition from feminist groups.

"Vengeful, horrible, and disgusting," was the response from Charlene Smith, one of South Africa's leading anti-rape campaigners. Lisa Vetten, of the Centre of Violence and


A device that barbs onto rapists’ penises is causing outcry, says elaine hake


Reconciliation in Johannesburg, says: "This is like going back to the days when women were forced to wear chastity belts. It is a terrifying thought that women are being made to adapt to rape."

Some also fear that the sudden infliction of pain on the rapist could incite him to even greater violence.

Ehlers, however, is adamant that desperate times call for desperate measures. South Africa has the world's highest rate of sexual assault: a staggering 1.7m women are raped each year. She believes the product, priced at one Rand, will be particularly useful for poorer black women who walk long distances to and from work.

With state intervention frustratingly slow, Ehlers argues this ugly version of empowerment is justified. "I don't hate men," she says. "I have not got revenge in mind. All I am doing is giving women their power back."
FIRST POSTED APRIL 4, 2007

Seriously, look at the barbs in this thing.



To learn more about the Rapex condom, go to their site at http://www.rapestop.net/

November 20, 2007

I'm basically going to keep putting up stuff until you guys buy something.

Yes, I'm still selling stuff to try and make enough money for a Wii for my daughter's Christmas present. Don't you guys want to help make that dream come true? Can't you just picture her precious 10-year-old face when she see a brand, spanking new Wii sitting there for her? It's the stuff of a Hallmark Channel movie. Come on, have a heart. Anyway, if the abject pleading is getting no where with you, just look at how cool this stuff is. Seriously, everyone is going to be sooooooo envious of your good fashion sense.





Just click on the CafePress link to the right or just click here. Really, how can you afford not to?

November 19, 2007

Grrrrrrr.

I am trying to do photo editing without Photoshop and it's driving me crazy. I downloaded a couple of free apps off the internet, but none of them are as easy as Photoshop and it's driving me NUTS. Mainly, the other apps don't seem to have an easy to use masking feature like Photoshop. Is it possible to buy Photoshop for home use? I should look into it, because God knows I don't need the $600 version, but there has got to be an easier way.

November 16, 2007

Ho hum

I just woke up from a nap, a benadryl-induced nap. So now I feel kind of sluggish. Just looked at my sales report and I'm still at a whopping one sale. What do pepole want? I don't know what people want. I could make designs in my own blood. Someone is bound to buy a damn shirt then. But I'm not bitter. I've been thinking a lot about Christmas this year and I really don't know why. I've never been quite this frantic about getting gifts before. Maybe it's because I know I am so unmotivated to go shopping anymore that I'm just dreading having to go buy stuff. Christmas used to be fun, but I feel like it hasn't been for a long, long time. It's always nice to watch my daughter's joy at Christmastime, but I'd like to be able to get into the swing of things, mysef.

November 14, 2007

Buy stuff from me. I'm not joking with you.

OK, I've had one sale so for on my nifty new cagepress store (Puffy K Emporium). And while that one sale shows the incredible good taste of my cousin, I think it's a sad state of affairs overall. So since I understand how taxing clicking on the button to the right can be, I'm going to put up a few samples of the AWESOME shirts you can get at the site. I did mention I'm trying to earn money to buy my daughter a Wii for Christmas, right? Anyway, I've got human shirts and dog shirts on the site so far.






See? Awesome, right? Anyway, I'm adding new designs everyday so tell your friends and family. Send the link to anyone you know. And to make it easy for you, here's the link. http://www.cafepress.com/koreancelt

Go buy something. I'm not joking. I'm serious. Serious as a myocardial infarction.

November 12, 2007

The return of the prodigal snake, or how some things are lost and some things are found

You remember how my daughter's first snake (technically second) snake escaped the day after her birthday and I had to go get her another one? Well, the new snake escaped Friday night. My daughter went to get Naboo out of its tank on Saturday morning to hold it, and it was gone. There gets to be a point where you have to stop and wonder after three escaped snakes, is the universe trying to tell you something. Anyway, my husband took apart the tank trying to figure out how in the hell the snake managed to escape this time and all he could find was this thin sliver of space on the lid. It's the only explanation because it was completely beyond reason to think that snake could escape. My daughter said I probably wasn't willing to get another snake at this point and I told her that was between her and her father to decide. I asked if she even wanted another snake and she said she didn't know because she didn't want to get her heart broken again. So my husband put all the tank stuff in the basement and we went to church for Saturday mass, pretty much realizing that was the last we were going to see of Naboo. So you can imagine our surprise when we got home and I found Naboo sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor next to the pen where we keep Mookie when we go out. I almost couldn't believe what I saw, so I quickly picked up the snake, which was feeling pretty cold and told my daughter that Naboo had returned. She was pretty excited and my husband had to quickly set up the tank, but it was an overall good night. My daughter then spent about 15 minutes taping off any possible escape route on the tank. We'll see if it works.

As for loss, my husband just called and it is official: all of his files from the computer are gone. We tried to do a data retrieval, but his stuff is just all gone. Eleven days worth of music is gone. It's true that everything in the world balances itself out.

November 08, 2007

Buy stuff from me

OK, I'm trying to make some extra cash for Christmas, so I opened one of these CafePress stores. You can click the link to the right where it says, "Buy Unique Gifts," or whatever it says over there. So far, I've only got t-shirts and I'll be adding more designs as time goes on. Well, adding more words and phrases because I don't think you can call what I've got on the t-shirts so far designs, Anyway, check them out and show a sister some love, won't ya?

Inconceivable

This morning, while my daughter and I were getting ready for the day, our dog did something she hasn't done in a very long time: She pissed on the floor. To say I was absolutely gobsmacked is an understatement. I really could not believe she had pissed on the floor even though I was looking at the yellow pool of urine. What's even more confusing about it is that she did it right next to her litter box. To really understand the enormity of this mistake, you've got to understand that this dog LIVES for getting treats after she's done her business in the litter box. Seriously, she'll go to the bathroom and just hang out at the litter box until someone notices her so she can look back and forth from her pee or poop to the person until she gets a treat. Anyway, I told her she was a bad girl and she was a bit cowed, but it's all very weird. She's probably a robot aliens used to replace my real dog.

November 06, 2007

A very bad thing

It is entirely possible that in an attempt to activate this X11 option on my computer, I may have erased all my husband's files. Now, I don't say my files or my daughter's files, because I found all those. However, I can't find any of my husband's stuff. He had a lot of music and if that's gone, it's gone. He sold a lot of the CDs he had after putting them on the computer. We've got a friend coming over tonight to take a look and see what he can do, but we can only hope everything is still there. Now the computer does show the same amount of memory being used as before I tried my hand at Mac configuration wizardry. I would think that means everything is still there somewhere. Anyway, say a prayer for me because I don't want to get a divorce.

November 02, 2007

Busy, busy, busy

I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Between my daughter's birthday, family get togethers and volunteering for stage crew at the civic theatre, I can't catch my breath. I'm not complaining, but I feel like I'm in the inside of a tornado. We tried to feed the snake for the first time on Wednesday, and he wouldn't take it. So, I woke up Thursday morning to find a dead pinkie in the tank. I'm not squeamish about feeding live food to the snake, but I want it to take care of business when I do. It's not particularly easy watching that poor bald thing squirm around looking for body heat and a teat. And then it makes the little squeaking noises. My daughter said as we stood waiting to see if the snake would eat, "I feel sorry for the pinkie." Nature is cruel.

October 28, 2007

Just because she's cute

Here's a picture of my dog because she's cute.


Here's my daughter because she's pretty cute, too.


I had ever intention of getting my daughter's costume done by Halloween, but I just don't think it's going to happen. But she's OK with it. She's managed to pull together a costume so she can be a Padawan. She's most excited about the fact that I put a little braid at the nape of her neck, off to the left side. She thinks that makes her as official as it gets. I'm not complaining. But now what am I going to do with all the stuff I've cut out for her alien costume. I'll still make it. You never know when you've got to dress up as an alien. By the way, I'm completely addicted to that show Dexter.

October 25, 2007

Way too much drama.

My daughter's snake escaped last night, so I got to start my morning with my hysterical daughter bursting into the bathroom telling me Mosay was gone. We won't find that snake. We looked around, but we won't find that snake. So I told her we'd go get her another one after school. She said she didn't want another snake, but by the time I dropped her off at school, she'd calmed down and was feeling more favorable towards getting a new one. You'd think we'd learn our lesson after two escaped snakes, but my daughter was so distraught I couldn't deal with it. I'd never seen her get that upset. Anyway, we think the snake escaped through some largish air holes at the top of the tank. We've taped those up so, hopefully, the new snake will stay put.

October 24, 2007

Decade parent

Well, today marks my tenth year as a parent and I have to say I don't feel as weird as I thought I'd feel about it. I actually feel more old when I hear my nephew's age. When he turned ten, I thought, "Good God, how can it be ten years already?" But with my own daughter, I don't feel so weird. As anyone who is a parent will know, I can't believe it's been ten years because the time has just zipped by. After I pick her up from school, we're going to get her present: a snake. As you may or may not remember, we got her a snake for her birthday a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, that poor snake met its demise when it managed to escape its tank, never to be found again. I'm sure its just a twig somewhere in the house. However, my daughter never quite got over the loss of the snake so I finally broke down and told her she could get another one. She's already got it picked out. It's another corn snake, but more colorful than the last. She named it Mosaic, but calls it Mosay for short. We've been visiting it once a week since she picked it out a month ago. I hope it doesn't freak out the dog too much. That wouldn't be good. That wouldn't be good at all.

October 21, 2007

Fancy Bartenders

While in Chicago over the weekend, my sister and I went to the TGIFriday next to our hotel one night for a couple of drinks and sister time. When the bartender came over to take our order, I said I wanted a mojito and while he was at it, he could throw stuff around like Tom Cruise for our entertainment. I was totally messing with him, but then he starts doing it. He starts juggling bottles and flipping them around and all this kind of stuff. Then he balanced bottles on his head for us. Anyway, I knew I had something super exciting on my hands when I saw all this go down. The bartender's name is Jason. He told us he's been on the Food Network for some kind of bartender competition in Las Vegas. I have no reason to not believe him, but I think you should all have the chance to experience the magic of Jason the Fancy Bartender. Enjoy.

video

October 19, 2007

Going to Chicago.

Well, the entire family is heading to Chicago this weekend for a special memorial service for my grandparents. One of my uncles went to Korea to retrieve my grandparents' remains to save them from being destroyed or lost. Seems that one of my mother's nephews has been selling off the land which includes her family's burial sites. So, her family decided the best thing to do would be to bring the remains to the States, cremate them, and bury them here. I don't know what goes through a person's mind when they decide they'll basically obliterate their ancestors' resting places, but I guess money really does mean everything for some people. It'll be nice to see everyone and since my grandparents have been dead for a long time, it won't be a sad affair, I'm hoping. But, you know, Koreans like their drama, so who knows what will happen this weekend.

October 17, 2007

Drunken hijinks at a football game

This past weekend, my sister and her husband came out from Montana to watch the BC/ND football game. They came without their children. It was a nice visit and I think we all enjoyed ourselves. Of course, we tailgated before the game and both my sister and I got drunk. I can safely say I was just drunk, but my sister got really, really drunk. In the picture below, you see the two of us in the stadium. We are both drunk. However, since my sister was really, really drunk she did some stuff that she wouldn't normally do, like steal a nacho chip from nacho chip guy when he wasn't looking. I've pointed out nacho chip guy in the photo using a purplish arrow, so you should be able to find him pretty easily. Now when she pinched the nacho chip, glaring lady gave my sister the evil eye, and did so for about five minutes. I think she was just jealous that my sister had the guts to pilfer a nacho chip when she didn't because I think I saw glaring lady eyeballing nacho chip guy's nacho chips a couple of times before the incident in question took place. Now if glaring lady really had a problem with my sister stealing a nacho chip from nacho chip guy, you'd think she'd say, "Hey, this crazy broad behind you just stole one of your nacho chips." But she didn't. She just glared at my sister like she'd been personally wronged or something. I'm not defending my sister stealing the nacho chip, but glaring lady was a bitch of the highest level. OK, Blogger fixed its problem, so here's the picture. You can even tell from glaring lady's hair that she's totally an uptight bitch, can't you?

October 16, 2007

Chinese horoscope

This is what my Chinese horoscope on Facebook said today:

Good amorous and erotic prospects.

Heh, heh, heh.

October 09, 2007

I'm sick.

I stayed home today because I'm sick. I usually don't stay home when I'm sick, only when my daughter is sick. But today I stayed home because I'm sick. I took DayQuil. It was good. It was very, very good. It made the world seem like a wonderful place. Which is good because I'm sick. I'm getting ready to take NyQuil, which will be good because it will make my dreamworld seem like a wonderful place. A wonderful dreamworld is great when you are sick, which is what I am. I have a crappy cold. I think it's starting to move into my chest because I'm starting to hear little rumblings if I breathe really deep and I almost want to cough, which means I almost have something to get out. Oh hey, I just had to run upstairs to deal with a minor emergency. Apparently, a turd stuck to my dog's anus as she was attempting to defecate. As it would anyone, it freaked her out, so she ran around the room smearing shit around in an attempt to dislodge the offending feces. Anyway, I had to go up to pull off as much crap from her a-hole as I could so my husband could clean the rest off of her in the sink. I then had to do the Nature's Miracle thing on the bedspread, the pillowcase, and the floor. That was all kind's of fun. Now I'm going to go do a shot of NyQuil and put this all behind me. Because I'm sick.

October 08, 2007

I can't believe my eyes.

OK, so you know some punk defaced my car by spray painting it while my family was in mass. Anyway, I looked on the internet to see if there was some home remedy to clean off the paint, not really having any high hopes that something would work. A couple of sites said to use a magic eraser, the Mr. Clean thing. So, I figured, eh, why not give it a try. I have a couple at home. What's there to lose? So I took that thing out to the car and I will be damned if the magic eraser didn't work. It actually cleaned off the spray paint and left the clear coat looking fine. I am amazed, but now I'm really curious about what kind of stuff is inside the magic eraser. I think Mr. Clean sold his soul to the devil. It seriously worked.

What in THE hell is the world coming to?

Yesterday, my family came out of mass to find something really interesting. And by interesting, I mean utterly reprehensible. We got to our car to find out someone had spray painted across the right passenger door. I mentioned we were in mass, right? That means someone went to a church parking lot to vandalize our car. Whether or not we were the only car, I don't know because most of the cars parked around us were gone by the time we got out there. But, I have really, really got to wonder about the mentality a work on this one. It's not cool to vandalize no matter what the situtation is, but to go and spray paint a car in a church parking lot seems really, really, really, really low. I know I should feel Christian forgiveness and all that, but screw it. Even though we'll never know who did the deed, I can say I feel no sympathy toward them. Whoever did it is a punk who will probably end up sucking valuable tax dollars from my wallet so they can sit in prison cell getting a college education or building up their body to look like the hulk while a truly deserving person somewhere works their entire life at McDonald's because they can't afford higher education but refuses to let that be an excuse for living a poor life.

October 03, 2007

My dog is famous.

Here's Mookie in her world debut as a featured "Stuff on My Mutt" star. Follow the link below.

http://www.stuffonmymutt.com/index.php?itemid=1011

October 02, 2007

Dang, I'm tired.

Well, more like really, really sleepy. I think it's the weather, which has been going from one extreme to the other lately. I'm going to the store to get ingredients for this purifying kashi soup. It has lentils and split peas and kashi and it's good. Plus it's only 1.5 points per serving, which is super awesome. My daughter started learning how to play the trumpet a couple of days ago. This should be interesting. She's joined the band. It's actually a really cool thing because her school and another catholic elementary school partner with the ND marching band to essentially provide a band experience for the kids. Student mentors from the marching bad volunteer their time to teach the kids how to play the instruments they want to learn to play so they can perform in band. If this program didn't exist, there would be no band for the kids to participate in. Plus, the marching band members do this all for free, which is pretty admirable, if you ask me. The only the thing the parents have to pay for is the instrument, whether they buy it or rent it. What did surprise me is that there only seems to be a handful of students from my daughter's school who are doing it. How do you pass up free music lessons? I don't know. People just don't know a good deal when they see it anymore.

October 01, 2007

Podcast #22

Brenna will kick your ass. Listen to today's podcast to find out how she'll kick your ass.


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September 27, 2007

This just makes me sick.

I've been posting a lot of news articles lately, which is unintentional, but I just read this and felt sick to my stomach to wonder what kind of monster would do something like this.

M.C. puppy set on fire put to sleep

Police investigate 'heinous crime.'

STAN MADDUX
Tribune Correspondent


MICHIGAN CITY -- Andrea Davis said she woke up to police knocking on her door. Then she spotted her smoldering pit bull on the front porch.

Snoopy, her puppy, was set ablaze, possibly with gasoline, and had to be put to sleep.

Police were given a vague description of a possible culprit but had not made any arrests Wednesday.

"Obviously, we're very concerned. It's a heinous crime committed by someone who has a lot of problems," said Michigan City Assistant Police Chief John Kintzele.

Just before 1 a.m. Wednesday, a woman said she was smoking a cigarette on her front porch in the 300 block of Dewey Street and observed what appeared to be a dog on fire running across the street, according to police.

She also heard what sounded like a dog crying.

The woman called police, and officers located the badly burned 4 1/2-month-old animal coming out of some bushes.

According to police, Snoopy was not on a leash.

But, prior to being set ablaze, Davis said, her dog was on a leash tied to a stake in her fenced backyard.

The stake had been pulled out of the ground.

"I thought this was a nice neighborhood," said Davis, who just moved there about two months ago.

"I don't want another dog if I can't keep him in the backyard," she said.

Davis, 22, said her father took Snoopy to the animal clinic at Purdue University North Central near Westville, but the injuries were too severe.

She got the dog for her sons, ages 1 and 3, just before the start of summer.

"He was a real good dog. I wouldn't have traded him for the world," Davis said.

According to police, a search of the area led officers to a shed just a few doors away.

The doors were open and inside the shed was a gasoline can.

Police, hoping to determine if there was a link, knocked on the door and telephoned the residence but received no answer.

A male, possibly a juvenile, was seen by the witness as she spotted the dog on fire.

And police investigating the scene noticed a similar-looking male possibly on a bicycle.

"It's nothing we can make an arrest on. The investigation is just beginning," Kintzele said.

Davis said she had no idea why this occurred, but someone in the neighborhood reported the dog was regularly kept on a leash outside and barked and cried during all hours of the night, police said.

September 21, 2007

If only

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine who lives in the neighborhood where this explosion occured last night.

Explosion levels house Extent of damage astonishes authorities

TOM MOOR and MICHAEL WANBAUGH
Tribune Staff Writers


SOUTH BEND -- John Ohime was sitting in his Arbor Pointe subdivision home Thursday night when his walls began shaking, and pictures began flying off the wall.

"I thought it was an airplane, so I came outside," Ohime said.

He saw that his quiet neighborhood had been turned upside down.
Tree branches, leaves and debris were scattered across a 100-foot radius. And the house four doors down was completely gone.

"I ran down there to see if we could do anything, but the house was just leveled," Ohime said.

"It was pretty scary. Too close for comfort."

Multiple rescue agencies in St. Joseph County responded to the explosion north of the city.

Rescue units were dispatched to the scene at 22530 Arbor Pointe Drive around 8:15 p.m.

At least one occupant of the house was injured and taken to a local hospital, according to Dave Cherrone, Clay Fire Territory fire marshal. He could not give a condition of the occupant. Cherrone said a neighbor may have pulled him from the home.

The victim was a retired police officer, neighbors told WSBT-TV. The man was flown to a burn center in Kalamazoo. He was not identified as of press deadline.

When units arrived at the scene, Cherrone said the house was "totally demolished." Only a basement remained.

Cherrone said he was shocked by what he saw.

"I haven't seen anything," he added, "that caused this much damage. Our two concerns were containing the hazard and making sure people in the area were safe."

Cherrone said the explosion caused major damage to at least eight nearby houses.

The house to the left of the explosion was missing about half of its garage, while the home across the street also received heavy damage, especially to its garage.

The street in front of the explosion was covered with leaves and debris.

The Arbor Pointe subdivision is just south of the state line and between Portage and Mayflower roads.

Ohime said he saw massive flames when we walked outside.

The blast could reportedly be heard in Niles and Edwardsburg.

When firefighters arrived on the scene, heavy smoke was billowing into the night sky.

While there was initial speculation that the explosion was a result of a gas leak, neither Cherrone nor a NIPSCO spokesman on the scene would confirm that claim late Thursday night.

It was unclear how many houses were evacuated as a result of the explosion, but some residents near the explosion were being allowed back to their homes at 10:15 p.m.

Cherrone said some of the houses would not be livable for at least the near future.

The Red Cross was on the scene to assist with housing for families affected by the explosion.

Tommie Lee lives two houses from the explosion on the same side of the street.

"My entire house shook," Lee said. "I thought a truck had hit the house."

When he walked outside, he said all he saw was fire and smoke.

As he got closer, he was amazed.

"There was no house," he said.

St. Joseph County police spokeswoman Jaimee Thirion was in awe of the damage.

"This is the worst thing I've been out to in four years that wasn't a natural disaster," she said.

Cherrone said rescue units checked multiple houses near the explosion for casualties. He expects units to be on the scene all night.


As tragic as this is, I'm more concerned about my friend right now because she is blaming herself for not calling the gas company when she smelled gas earlier in the day. I tried to tell her she can't blame herself over this, but how do you really get a message like that through to a person who feels that level of guilt. It's because she knows the man who was injured and she thinks she could have prevented the explosion if she just would have picked up the phone. Other people in the neighborhood smelled gas, too, but none of them called either. Still, I guess I'm asking all of you to say a little prayer that a woman you don't know can find some peace in her heart.

September 20, 2007

I must get on Tim Gunn's new show.



I just finished watching Tim Gunn's new show on Bravo and I think I will live in a dark wasteland of despair if I don't manage to get on it somehow. He and this other lady whose name I don't know come in and basically go through your entire wardrobe and throw out anything that doesn't look good on you, then they basically tell you what does look good on you and then send you out to get those things. They also give you a makeover. I'd do it just for the makeover. And that's exactly what I need: someone to just tell me what looks good on me. I don't buy clothes often. Mainly because I always think there's something more important to spend the money on, but I do love clothes. Even though it's probably hard to guess by just looking at me walking down the street. If I had the money to get the kind of clothes I'd really like to have, then I would, but I don't, so I rarely buy clothes. It's really a very simple equation once you get down to it. The girl I just watched them fix got a bunch of new underwear. I probably just do it for the underwear, too. I really don't know if I'm wearing the right bra size. I'd like to get a bra that fits me exactly the way it should. I just don't have faith that someone who really knows their stuff about bras lives in South Bend. But I have to say they really made this chick look good and just once in my life, I'd like to walk out of the house knowing I look the best that I can.

September 18, 2007

Podcast #21

Sometimes, boys do stupid things like telling a gal they'll call and then never doing it. Brenna and I discuss the problems this leads to when I a boy flat out lies like this. Listen and learn.


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Padded bras suck

I bought a couple of new bras the other day and inadvertently got a padded one. I just didn't read closely enough and when I got home, I realized my mistake. I've never worn a padded bra before, even though there are some who would suggest that I should (mainly my mother). I've just never felt the need to enhance the size of my breasts. Anyway, since I bought it, I figured I'd give it a try and I really don't like it. It's odd knowing something's touched my boob, but then not actually feeling it on my boob. It feels like I've got a pillow on my chest. I don't know why anyone would wear one of these things on a regular basis. So, that's one bra that will end up dwelling in the far, dark recesses of my underwear drawer.

September 15, 2007

Weird dream

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt I was Helen Keller as played by Melissa Gilbert, but I was still me. I was at some school, but as an adult. I wasn't girl Helen Keller, I was woman Helen Keller. And I was trying to comfort this guy I knew who was suffering from cancer; although, his symptoms were more consistent with TB than cancer. And even though I was Helen Keller, I seemed to get around pretty well. Like the guy (who, strangely, was played by an old high school boyfriend) showed me the bloody sputum he'd coughed out on a handkerchief and I could see it. I started crying when I saw it because I realized he was trying to tell me he had cancer through this revelation. And then he started crying and the only thing I could do was hold him while he cried. And then Anne Sullivan showed up at the school and I was desperate to see her and I was fighting with people who were trying to hold me back from seeing her, and when I did finally get to her, she was quite cold towards me. She treated me like someone she was accustomed to ordering around without question. I can't really remember more than that, but if anyone wants to take a stab at analyzing that one, go for it. I'm all ears.

September 14, 2007

I think South Bend has a serial murderer.

Something like the fifth or sixth dead woman has turned up in South Bend under mysterious circumstances. Here's the story.

Woman found dead in South Bend park


NANCY J. SULOK
Tribune Staff Writer


SOUTH BEND -- A pregnant 35-year-old woman found killed in a city park had been strangled, a coroner said.

Melissa Marie Shields' body was discovered just before midnight Wednesday in Ravina Park on the city's southeast side.

Deputy coroner Charles Hurley said after an autopsy Thursday afternoon that he is unsure whether a weapon was used in the crime.

Rhonda Riley of Mishawaka, Shields' mother, said Shields was seven months pregnant with a baby boy. She said Shields had three teenage children: a son and daughter who live with Riley and another son who lives with a different relative.

They had not seen Shields recently, a distraught Riley said Thursday, because of Shields' involvement with illegal drugs and other criminal behavior.

Although Shields' latest arrest records listed Riley's Mishawaka address as hers, Riley said her daughter had been living on Indiana Avenue in South Bend. Riley said she didn't approve of the man with whom Shields was living, and that is partly why she had grown estranged from her daughter.

Riley said she had never heard any reports that the boyfriend, whose full name she did not know, had ever abused Shields.

"He might have cheated on her," Riley said, "but he never hit her, that I know of."

Riley was upset and crying at the news of her daughter's death and said Shields' children are taking it hard. They are uncertain how they are going to pay for funeral expenses, she said.

Police released few details about the case Thursday.

Although Riley said she was told that her daughter was nude when found, authorities would not confirm that.

Hurley said the victim's body had been identified initially by officers who knew her. She had a lengthy arrest record, including arrests for prostitution.

Shields has been a frequent occupant of the county jail, with 70 arrests going back to 1990.

South Bend police arrested her most recently on Aug. 16 in the 2900 block of South Michigan Street. She was charged in that case with theft, possession of cocaine, possession of paraphernalia, and two counts of auto theft.

Court records indicate a man had picked her up on Indiana Avenue and took her to his trailer in Mishawaka. At some point, he told police, he realized Shields had left, taking his car. He also reported that $5,400 was missing from his trailer.

Police arrested her about an hour later after seeing her park the car at a grocery on Michigan Street. She told them she had permission to use the car and that the Mishawaka man had given her money to buy narcotics. Police found drugs and drug paraphernalia in the car.

Shields was free on $1,000 bond at the time of her death.

Past arrests included drug offenses, prostitution, criminal trespass, driving without a license, criminal conversion, carjacking and failure to use a seat belt.

According to Indiana Department of Correction records, Shields also has served three sentences in state prison, for auto theft, receiving stolen auto parts, carrying a handgun without a license, and possession of cocaine.

Neighbors were clearly disturbed by the homicide, which happened in Ravina Park, a small park in the 900 block of East Indiana Avenue, along the bank of Bowman Creek.

"This freaks me out," said Sara Lenardson, who lives across the street from the park. She said she has lived on Indiana Avenue for about a year and has never had any serious problems.

Jimmy Scales, who has lived for 40 years along the east side of the park, said the 900 and 1000 blocks of Indiana Avenue are fairly stable, with longtime residents.

He described the occupants further west as transients who move in and out of the neighborhood with frequency. A lot of people just wander the streets all day, he said.

Ravina Park has a curfew, he said, "but people are out here at 3 in the morning. What good is a curfew if they don't enforce it?"

The small neighborhood park has only a few pieces of playground equipment, including a swingset, sliding board and monkey bars. The victim's body was found under the monkey bars.

Police went to the park late Wednesday in response to reports of a woman screaming.

Scales said screaming is not unusual in the park, "but it's play screaming," kids making noise as they have fun.

He said police have done a good job of cleaning up the southeast side, particularly in getting rid of the Dawg Life gang.

"It really worked," he said, "and I was glad to see it."
In addition to this murder, several other women have been found dead since the beginning of the year. The body of one was discovered in an alley. Another woman was found dead in a garage. Several women have been pulled from the St. Joe river. And the killer or killers have not been found. It's all pretty fishy to me. And I know it's starting to freak me out a bit. I definitely think it's a serial killer.

September 12, 2007

Sing it from the mountain top.

I cannot take credit for this little gem. My friend Beth posted it on her blog, and it's just so touching, I had to share it with all of you. Don't be afraid to let the spirit move you.

September 10, 2007

Podcast, episode 20

The girls and I talk about several different things. It's pretty interesting. I'd listen if I were you.


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September 09, 2007

Woo Hoo

So my Nittany Lions won this weekend, which is good because I would have been very upset if I drove eight hours to watch a game where they lost. Needless to say, I am pleased with the outcome. The only thing I wish is that I would have had time to actually go around town some. We only ended up being able to do the tailgating thing and then a quick trip to the bookstore. But I'll take what I can get. And it always makes me happy to see Charlie Weis lose a game because a rat bastard like him doesn't deserve to win. And he really is a rat bastard, if the rat were mutantly large due to radioactive exposure. Anyway, we just got home a couple of hours ago and I'm really not sleepy because I slept a lot during the drive home. But I do feel fatigued, which is weird. The one good thing about being home is that I can eat my normal food. I ate so much junk between traveling and tailgating that I feel pretty bloated and bogged down.

My daughter took me on a spin in a golf cart she learned to drive over the weekend. It was fine except she hasn't quite mastered stopping a golf cart as much as moving one. I'm pretty sure we squealed out when she finally put on the brakes and we were driving on grass, so in some ways it's pretty impressive, too.

September 02, 2007

I cannot sleep.

I'm awake because I can't sleep. I want to sleep, I just can't. Anyway, I figured I'd do a post and maybe that will do the trick. So what's been going on lately? Hmmm, well, the most interesting thing filling my days lately is trying to shill stuff for my daughter's school. Every year they make the kids (read parents) sell wrapping paper as a fundraiser. It's pretty good wrapping paper, but it's not really an item most people are busting through the doors to buy. The particular company they sell through is called Innisbrook, which apparently only exists to haunt every parent of a school-aged child. I hate selling stuff because no one wants to be bothered with this. I have to say, though, that you can purchase items online which makes the selling a lot easier for me. I just have to send out an email with a link and let people buy if they want. I think that works out well all the way around because then friends and family don't have to tell me no to my face. I think it relieves a lot of stress for everyone.

Next weekend we will be traveling to good old State College to watch the ND/Penn State game. I'm pretty stoked because vengeance will be ours. ND lost today and Penn State won which bodes well for my Nittany Lions. It's been a few years since we've been to State College, so it would be fun even if we didn't have the entire football thing going on. I guess the only really bad part of the entire trip is that we will miss the Popcorn Festival held in Valparaiso, IN, birthplace of Orville Reddenbacher. Damn. Ah, screw it, sticky buns beat popcorn any day of the week. I don't have anything to complain about.

September 01, 2007

What my Facebook horoscope told me today.

Beware of your unstable humor which may complicate your relationships.

August 27, 2007

My dog is sick

I had to take my dog to the emergency vet over the weekend because she was crying out in pain when one of us tried to pick her up or a couple of times when she tried to urinate. She was shaking, too, and you could just tell she was not happy. So I took her in and it turns out she has a UTI, which I think is kind of weird in dogs, but she's been dominating her stuffed sheep pretty determinately lately. So, I don't know. Maybe that has something to do with it. Anyway, when they took her in for examination, she started screaming and crying like they were pulling her claws out with pliers. It turns out they had to get a urine sample by inserting a syringe into her bladder and when they were pulling out the needle, she jerked and injured herself. Then she wouldn't let anyone apply pressure to staunch the bleeding and now she's got a pretty impressive bruise on her stomach. So they sent me home with antibiotics and pain killers. This is what she looks like on the pain killers.
Yeah, I wish I had me some of that.

August 25, 2007

Something I did while in Utah for my reunion.

While in Utah, we passed this new entertainment complex they're building in Ogden that houses an iFly place which basically allows a person to simulate skydiving. However, instead of falling, you're actually flying in a vertical wind tunnel.

Here's a picture of me in the wind tunnel. To watch a video (not of me) that shows you what happens while in the wind tunnel, just click on the picture. The guy in there with me is the instructor who basically keeps you from hurting yourself.



To say it was fun is an understatement. I basically laughed like a fool the entire time I was in there. According to the people who work at this place, there are only 12 of these wind tunnels in the world. I'm assuming they mean vertical wind tunnels open to public use. I was only there for the one-time go, but I think people who live nearby can purchase packages that allow them to come back multiple times and learn how to do tricks and stuff like that.

My friend and her three daughters also took flight and they pretty much agreed it's about as awesome an experience as a person can have.

August 24, 2007

Story from reunion, although not about reunion.

I will talk about the reunion one day. I promise. Until then, let me tell you a story I heard while at the reunion. One of my former classmates is a doctor. I think she has probably spent most of her time serving disenfranchised communities. She told us that during her residency she worked some time in Appalachia where she had a woman come in with a very interesting complaint. According to my classmate, the woman came in and said. "I got vines growin' down there."

Being perplexed, my friend asked, "What?"

"I got vines down there."

Still confused about what this woman could be suffering from, my friend performs an examination and finds that, indeed, the woman does have vines growing down there. It turns out the woman had inserted a piece of potato (possibly for contraceptive purposes) into her vagina and then forgot about it, giving it time to sprout. According to my friend the "vines" had gotten to a length where they were hanging out of the woman's underpants. When I asked what the potato looked like when she removed it, my friend said, "Exactly what you think it would look like." EWWW!

Now, I ask you, even if you had inserted a piece of potato up your cooch and forgotten about it, wouldn't you remember when you looked down to see something worthy of a 4-H ribbon growing out of there? I think I would.

Here's a picture of a rotten potato, just in case you were wondering what one would look like.

Mmm, mmm, mmm. We're having au gratin tonight.

August 23, 2007

My personality DNA



I am going to talk about my reunion when I have more time.

August 16, 2007

Does your name fit you?

This seems like fun.

Check the letters of your name and what they mean... Does your name fit you?

K:
crazy
A: Hot
T: smile to die for
H: cute
L: very good kisser
E: has gorgeous eyes
E: has gorgeous eyes
N: easy to fall in love with

I would have to say, yes, I am crazy hot and I do have two gorgeous eyes.



A: Hot
B: Amazing kisser
C: good kisser
D: can kick ur butt
E: has gorgeous eyes
F: lowild and crazy adore you
G: very outgoing
H: cute
I: loves to laugh and smile
J: is really sweet
K: crazy
L: very good kisser
M:Makes dating fun
N: easy to fall in love with
O: has one of the best personalities ever
P: popular with all types of people
Q: a hypocrite
R: is a good person to be with
S: makes people laugh
T: smile to die for
U: is very sexual
V: not judgmental
W: very broad minded
X: never let people tell you what to do
Y: smile to die for
Z: can be funny and dumb at times

Now you guys give it a try.

August 15, 2007

What to say?

I'm sitting painting my toenails because I leave for my 20th high school reunion tomorrow. I'm painting them "rapid ruby." In some ways, I feel like I want to talk about going to the reunion, and in other ways, I really don't. Which I think makes sense because it probably reflects both the excitement and apprehension I feel about going. Excitement because I can't wait to see friends I haven't seen in a long time and apprehensive because I don't want to be bored playing nice to people I never liked. I know, I'm a bitch. My daughter starts school tomorrow and I'm actually more consumed with that right now than I am with reunion stuff. Let me show you the ravages of twenty years. This is me in high school.

And this is me now.

See how skinny I used to be? The bummer is that I didn't think I was skinny back then. I've pretty much always considered myself to be a little on the chunky side. But when I look at pictures of myself in high school and college, well anything before I had my daughter, I realize I wasn't fat at all. Why can't we appreciate the good things when we've got them? So, anyway, I've been doing all this "reflecting" on my life and whether or not I've spent my life well. When I look back so far, there are definitely things I'd do differently. I'd definitely have traveled more before having my daughter. The simple fact is you just can't pick up and take off any old time when you've got kids. Everything is about their school schedules and social lives. I also wish I would have taken better advantage of the opportunities that are available in college, like study abroad programs and stuff like that.

August 12, 2007

The end of summer is upon us.

Well, I think the family has officially had its last summer outing for the year. Friends invited us up to a lake cottage that they had been given use of, and we just got back. It was a pretty good time. The kids and menfolk went fishing and swimming, and my friend and I stayed at the house and read without anyone bothering us. We just sat on the deck and thought about nothing, which is about as good as it gets at this point in life. Did I mention we made smores? Because that's the most important part about spending a weekend at a lake house. It's kind of like the law, you know. What was interesting about this particular house, though, was that anything that was supposed to cook food didn't work so well. I started to grill steaks on the gas grill they had up there, but that didn't work so well, so I had to build a fire in the charcoal grill. Luckily, I had brought up charcoal, but getting the grills in and out of that thing was hard and I ended up burning my forearm with a red hot poker I was using to try and get the grill in place. Yeah, it sizzled when it hit my skin, but did surprisingly little damage to my arm; although, the skin does look a bit charred. Not just burned, but charred. So I guess that's kind of gross. So I finally got the meal cooked. Then this morning, my friends was trying to fry potatoes in this electric skillet they had in the house, but that thing didn't work for shit, either. I basically think the people who own the house decide that when something stops working so well, they just take it up to the lake house. Also, there was no air conditioning, which I don't understand. I don't know why anyone living in modern times would deny themselves the pleasure of air conditioning. There's no reason for them to not have a couple of window units or even a portable air conditioner, so it was hot and muggy to say the least. My friend and I pretty much spent the entire weekend drenched in our own sweat. So I guess that's kind of gross. But all in all, it was an incredibly pleasant weekend and thoroughly enjoyable.

August 09, 2007

Copying a meme because I lack originality

From Dantallion's Can[n]on.

Step 1: Put your iPod or iTunes on random.
Step 2: Post the first line(s) from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly. I will cross out the correct guesses as I go.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING - for which you SHALL be punished…


NOTE: Apparently, I can't do strikeout on Blogger, so I'm just coloring guessed answers red. Because red means stop. Like a stop light. Which means don't go. Anyway, you get it.

1. Toot, toot. Hey. Beep, beep. Toot, toot. Hey. Beep, Beep.

2. Ooooh, oh, oh, oh. You run, run, run away. It's your heart that you betray.

3. You know, I was, I was wondering, you know, if you could keep on because the force it's got a lot of power, it make me feel like...ooooh. Lovely, is the feeling now.

4. Right about now, the funk soul brother. Check it out now, the funk soul brother.

5. Pack it up, pack it in. Let me begin. I came to win. Battle me that's a sin.

6. Unos, dos, tres, catorce. Turn it up loud, captain. Lights go down. It's dark. The jungle is your head.

7. She works hard for the moeny, so hard for it honey. She works hard for the money, so you better treat her right.

Donna Summer, "She Works Hard for the Money." Guessed by Jess.

8. We are young, heartache to heartache we stand. No promises, no demands. Love is a battlefield.

Pat Benatar, "Love is a Battlefield." Guessed by Jess and J-Mo.

9. I see them every night in tight blue jeans in the pages of a blue boy magazine. Hey, I've been thinking about a new sensation.

Cindy Lauper, "She Bop." Guessed by Jess.

10. I've been waiting for so long to come here now and sing this song. Oh. Don't be fooled by what you see. Don't be fooled by what you hear.

11. Take it back. Take it back. Oh, oh, oh. Everybody look at me, me. I walk in the door you start screaming. Come on everybody whatcha here for?

12. Once I had a love and it was a gas. Soon turned out had a heart of glass. Seemed like the real thing, only to find Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind.

Blondie, "Heart of Glass." Guessed by J-Mo.

13. Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

14. La, la, la, la... I just can't get you out of my head. Boy your loving is all I think about.

15. Working Monday through Friday takes up all of my time. If I can get to the weekend, everything will work out just fine.

16. I'm bringing sexy back. Them other boys don't know how to act. I think you're special. What's behind your back?

Justin Timberlake, "Sexyback." Guessed by Jess and J-Mo.

17. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. Mata ah-oo hima de. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Himitsu wo shiri tai.

Styx, "Mr. Roboto." Guessed by Jess.

18. At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.

Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive." Guessed by Jess.

19. Only came outside to watch the night fall with the rain. I heard you making patterns rhyme like some new romantic looking for the TV sound. You'll see I'm right some other time.

20. Woo, gave you my money, I gave you my time. Why you wanna hurt me, girl? Are you serious? I'm just curious, why you wanna hurt me girl?

Wow! That just took way more time than I would have thought. I feel I should clarify that the only music I have on my iPod is workout music, so don't necessarily judge my musical tastes by the songs here. Don't get me wrong, I like them all, but my tastes are much broader that what they would seem from this selection.

August 06, 2007

Me as a Simpson


Don't I look cute? By the way, I bought four pairs of shoes yesterday. It's all about the baby steps.

And this is my husband

And my brother.


And my daughter. Yes, I have too much time on my hands.

Now Simpsonize yourself.

August 03, 2007

Shoes

I've been finding myself unusually obsessed with shoes lately. I like shoes, but I don't have nearly as many shoes as I'd like to have. Mainly because I'm not rich and if I bought as many shoes as I wanted, I'd be sucking on ice cubes and eating sunflower seeds for my meals. This might not be so bad because then I wouldn't have to do Weight Watchers. However, I do have a family I need to feed, so that means no shoes. Anyway, I've been wanting to buy shoes a lot lately because of my reunion. I don't know why. You'd think if I wanted to buy anything, I'd want to get one of those body-shaping lycra things that will make me look twenty pounds thinner, but I want shoes. Since I can't buy them, I look at them. The internet is great for looking at shoes. I've been spending way too much time looking at shoes. This has led me to buy shoes for my daughter because then I can rationalize the expense. It's not really for me. Plus, she needs shoes for school anyway. I tend to spend a little more money on her shoes than most people would think reasonable for shoes that will only fit her for a year or so, but I can't help it. Since she wears a uniform to school, I like her to have a little character with her shoes. Now, I don't spend $100 on her shoes, but I have been known to fork over $50, which I won't even spend on myself. I only spent $20 on my wedding shoes. That's pretty much the range I like to stick in for my own shoe purchases. I did spend $100 for a pair of Dansko clogs, but those things were worth it. They're incredibly comfortable and I'll have those shoes forever. The thing with looking at shoes on the internet is that you get to see all kinds of shoes and their prices and I really don't understand the shoes that are like $400. If you've got $400 to spend on shoes, you've got too much money and should probably do something a little more altruistic with it. Hey, I've got an idea. If you're a shoe designer or retailer, why don't you send me shoes to test run and write reviews. I'll do that. Just let me know.

August 01, 2007

So sad.

I got a call yesterday afternoon from someone on the parent/ teacher association telling me that the father of one of my daughter's classmates had unexpectedly passed away and would I be able to make a desert for his funeral lunch. I told her of course and asked how he died. She said she didn't know, only that it was very sudden. So in my mind I'm thinking heart attack, accident. I have to admit suicide did pop into my mind because I've recently learned that a classmate of mine from high school killed herself a couple of months ago. At any rate, I told my daughter and she felt very sad for her classmate and said she'd like to make the cake with me, which she did. Anyway, I had to drop it off at the church this morning and there were already some ladies getting the meal together and I asked them if they knew what had happened, and neither one of them knew, only that it was unexpected because that's what was in the obituary. One of the women showed the obit to me and said she asked the pastor and all he would say is that the article says it was unexpected, so let's just leave it at that. So, of course, we're both assuming it's something like suicide or drug overdose or something along those lines because no one ever wants to say what really happened in those sorts of situations. We did really only talk about suicide, but who really knows. Besides my daughter's classmate, he and his wife have one other child, and I just can't help feeling terrible for those kids. You feel sympathy for the wife as well, but in my thinking she's an adult and is better equipped to handle something like this, but those kids may never understand why this happened. And I don't necessarily know that anyone can truly understand, but as a parent, it makes me angry to think that a father would willingly put his children through this sort of hardship.

Now, I know he must have been suffering from depression or maybe even battling substance abuse, but I generally look at suicide as one of the most selfish and self-centered acts a person can commit. I've known people who had family members who committed suicide that probably would have more sympathy than I would, but I only ever feel sorry for the people left to deal with the aftermath. In my mind, if you've got the wherewithall to take your own life, you've got the wherewithall to ask for help. Granted, I also understand there are people with serious mental illness like schizophrenia who commit suicide, but I usually view those people as not really having the capability to understand the consequence of their actions in relation to the world around them. I suffer from depression myself so I know how very low one can get. And as a teen (or even when I suffered from post-partum depression), I probably had incredibly fleeting moments of considering suicide at some level, but I always knew that was never a real solution to anything and I always knew there was no way in hell I'd put my family through that kind of agony. So my prayers go out to the family dealing with the loss of a husband and father and hope that they can find some kind of peace in their lives and not blame themselves for an action that rests squarely on the shoulders of the person who committed it.

July 27, 2007

The Brick and LG appliances suck big donkey dicks.

This is a post that Dantallion recently put up and I'm just spreading the word because I've been similarly screwed by Best Buy in the past. Best Buy is the devil, and so, apparently, are The Brick and LG appliances. So read on.



tick…tick…BOOM

If any of you heard a loud noise last night, or the earth rumbling, or perhaps reports of a possible nuclear explosion, not to worry - here’s the explanation.

I’ve made mention several times on my blog recently that my 2-year-old LG refrigerator (with extended warranty) crapped out just over two weeks ago. Aside from the food loss, LG and The Brick (where I purchased it) dicked me around for two weeks - wasting hours and hours of my time, with their incompetence and sheer unwillingness to help - and this despite my being patient and polite for the first week of this nonsense. They had the part in stock the whole time, and could have sent it to me within 2 days of the failure. Instead they told me it would take a MINIMUM of 2 weeks to get the part - and if I was without a fridge for that time, that was just too bad. It took me 1 phone call to the manufacturer to confirm that the parts were readily available. And then hours of my time talking with useless “customer service” people trying to convince them to send the part immediately. I would get one helpful rep telling me that they would ship it to me overnight that night, and then the next day when it didn’t show up, I’d find out that another rep had cancelled the order because they felt that the procedure that had been followed was wrong. It was a comedy of incompetence and apathy like I’ve never seen before. Add to that waiting around for hours for FIVE different service calls (partly because when they DID send the part, it was invariably the wrong one). Once they even sent it to the wrong address.

So finally this past Tuesday, they fixed the fucking thing.

You wanna know the kicker? Last night (Wednesday), I went to the grocery store and spent over $120.00 dollars on stuff to replace some of what I’d lost 2 weeks ago. When I got home, the fucking thing wasn’t working. AGAIN.

SO, in the interests of doing the public a service, and in the hopes that anyone Googling LG or The Brick will come across this post, I offer the following:

WARNING: Don’t ever buy LG products. Don’t ever shop at The Brick furniture and appliance stores. LG and the Brick are incompetent. LG and the Brick offer inferior products. LG and the Brick say they offer good service – this is a lie. LG and the Brick are more interested in washing their hands of their customers once they have sold their product. LG and the Brick do not respect their warranties. LG and the Brick are lazy. LG and The Brick’s complete disregard for their customers and the problems that arise from the products they sell them is disgusting. I’ve bought many different things at many different stores, and never have I been a badly treated as I have been at LG and the Brick.

In their marketing, they infer that LG stands for “Life’s Good”. They forgot to add: “For US. YOU, On The Other Hand, Are Totally SCREWED”.

BUYER BEWARE.

Pass it on.

dan

July 26, 2007

Life's bitter disappointments.

My daughter is in drama camp this week. It's the first time she's ever done anything like this before, and I think her sudden interest in the theatre stems from my recent participation in the local civic theatre. Anyway, I picked her up today and she had an incredibly sour look on her face so I asked her what was wrong.

"Nothing."

I told her I could tell something was wrong, so why doesn't she just tell me.

"Nothing."

Anyway, I waited until we got in the car and then I asked her again to tell me what was wrong. Then she goes into how she didn't get the part she auditioned for and that she kept getting knocked out of the bathtub and into the darkness. I understood not getting the role, but the rest of it was bizarre to say the least, until she explained the bathtub was part of a scene they were doing. I tried to explain to her that it's rough not getting the part she wanted, but that happens sometimes and that she should still try and do the best that she can with the part she did get (she's apparently part of the court), and try to not let the disappointment ruin the rest of her fun while she's in camp. She had to let her sorrow wash through her for a little while before she could smile and think life was worth living again. And, I understand that. Sometimes we like to just stew in our misery, don't we?

Once she'd finished feeling sorry for herself, the contempt came into play. "I don't even know why the girl who got the part got it," she said. "She doesn't even say the right words."

I told her that it's the director's job to worry about people not doing their jobs and that she should just concentrate on making sure she does her role the way she's supposed to. I think she understands that, but I totally get that she's got to trash the little ho that stole her part.

July 24, 2007

Burning Questions.

I'm a person who likes answers. If I wonder something, I want to know who, what, when, where, why, and how. However, even I am sometimes stumped in my quest to find answers to all the questions that pop into my head. To wit, I'm going to periodically post those questions and hope that someone out there can answer them for me. I'm also willing to entertain plausible theories, so, please, give me some answers.

Question 1:
Why doesn't Whoopi Goldberg have eyebrows?

Question 2:
Has Michael Jackson really, truly lost his nose to too many surgeries?

So there's a couple to get you started. I'm hoping you will help to dispell any remaining vestiges of ignorance I shamefully carry upon my shoulders. And thanks. You're all swell.

Finished. Finally, truly finished.

So that's that. No more Harry Potter. It's finally finished and I'm kind of sad about it. By the way, there will probably be spoilers in this post, so if you don't want to know what happens in Deathly Hallows, I'd suggest you stop reading now. Speaking of the deathly hallows, I really don't know why they were even in the story. It all seemed pretty unnecessary to me. I don't think it really added anything. Generally speaking, I like the book as much as I like all the other ones. But I am disappointed that there seems to be so much still left up in the air. If this is the last book, give people the satisfaction of tying up all loose ends. I hear JK Rowling plans on releasing a sort of encyclopedia of everything not in the books, which would be helpful. Although, I hope it's just not an encyclopedia in the classic sense. I'd like it to be written as a narrative. Go ahead and organize or categorize like an encyclopedia, but write the stories.

I'm bummed that she killed the people she killed, except for Voldemort of course. The only thing is that it all seemed sort of anti-climatic. I dont know what I was expecting, but I thought Voldemort's death would somehow be more shocking than it was. I don't know. I am glad, though, that she did not kill off Ron or Hermione. I think that was a real fear of many readers, but she's leaves them alive. The death that bummed me out the most was definitely Fred. I can't imagine how George's life goes on without his twin. I wish she would have gotten a little deeper into their future lives. I mean, she gives the epilogue, but she only gives you tiny hint of what their lives are like. I felt so sad that Tonks and Lupin both die, leaving their son parentless. I mean, come on, she could have left at least one of them alive so little Teddy didn't have to end up an orphan.

My daughter is currently listening to the audio book and just heard that Hedwig died and she asked, "How much more can [JK Rowling] do to Harry?"



By the way, one of my daughter's friends clued me into the Potter Puppet Theatre on You Tube. It's sad, but true, to say I've finally reached a point of my life where my cues on the hip and relevant come from nine-year-olds.

July 23, 2007

Can't. Talk.

Reading. Harry. Potter. 100. Pages. Left.

July 19, 2007

My daughter is a whiner.

My daughter is now attempting to practice guitar for the first time in a month, and she is really making it a bitch. She has class tomorrow, so I told her to start practicing last night because she hasn't done it at all these last few weeks of vacation, and she plunks a couple of notes before wailing, "I can't remember anything." My big mistake was trying to reason with her. I told her to go back to some of the older stuff that she's played a million times so that her fingers could get back in the groove of it and sort of jump start her memory. But she was determined to whine, and utterly convinced that she didn't remember how to play guitar. Anyway, I told her to wait until her father came home to help her (he reads music and I don't), but that didn't happen because we had a dinner date with friends last night. So she's trying to practice now and telling my husband that she's lost and she doesn't understand what he's trying to tell her. It probably wouldn't be sooooooo bad if she weren't literally whining. You know, those pathetic sort of noises kids make when they're complaining about something. She just did it again and it's all I can do to keep from flying off the handle. I HATE it when kids whine and my first impulse is always to smack them. I particularly hate it when my daughter whines because it means she's not even trying and that infuriates me more than anything. I probably shouldn't be admitting these things because now a world of strangers will think I'm an abusive mother, but what are ya gonna do? While I'm confessing my sins, let me tell you what I did earlier this evening. My daughter had a loose tooth that she finally agreed to let us pull out. My husband's preferred tool is pliers. So he yanks that sucker out and I tell her to rinse and spit until I can bring down some gauze for her to bite on to stop the bleeding. One of the things I didn't mention about while we were on vacation was that my mother stayed at our house to watch our dog. She took that opportunity to completely clean and reorganize my house. (Something she knows I don't like her doing.) So I went up to the linen closest and couldn't find the gauze, but I did see my box of tampons. And that's when the wheels started turning. Tampons are made to staunch bleeding and, surely, they're sterile because women shove them up their cooches. That technically makes them a medical supply. So I took one out and removed the applicator and took the cotton down to my daughter and told her to put it in her mouth and bite down. She asked me what it was and I told her it was something specifically made to stop bleeding. I have to admit it was a little funny to see her walk around with the tampon string hanging out of her mouth. And that's how we mothers get back at our children for whining. I should have taken a picture.