August 18, 2009

Me 2.0

K, so I went to Montana a few weeks ago and had my brother-in-law perform a mini-tummy tuck on me. I'm just about four weeks post-op. I've got to wear compression garments for another four weeks if I can stand it, and I can't exercise for another two weeks. With the type of procedure I had, the surgeon really only removes excess skin beneath the belly button and then stretches the heck out of the remaining skin to reattach at the pubic area. If I had to guess, I'd say the incision is about a foot long. A couple of things I've learned since having the operation is that it sucks recuperating from major surgery and the body takes a long damn time to heal.

Yesterday, I couldn't take it any longer and I got on my elliptical for about 15 minutes. I went very slowly and didn't use my arms. I broke a little bit of a sweat and it felt good. However, soon after exercising, I noticed a dull, throbbing pain at the incision site. You know how kids have to make their own mistakes, even when someone older and wiser tells them a certain course of action is a bad idea? Apparently, I'm still making my own mistakes. So I didn't get on the elliptical today. I'll wait the remaining two weeks, I think.

At any rate, this entire experience has me thinking about vanity and the extremes to which we're willing to go because of it. I had a big ole chunk of skin cut off my body in the name of vanity. That's kind of crazy, when you think about it. I haven't even mentioned yet that I also had two laser treatments on my face while I was in Montana. In plain language, I let someone burn the skin off my face with a laser……twice. I can now say I know what my burning flesh smells like. That's messed up by any stretch of the imagination, and I'm here to tell you I'd do it all again given the chance. Why? I don't know. I mean, I know it's because I didn't want that extra, saggy post-pregnancy skin on my stomach and I want to look younger than my age. But what I don't know is why those things are important to me. Some might say I'm succumbing to societal pressure, which is probably true to a certain extent. But, I'm really not the sort to care too much what society thinks of me. Ultimately, I think I've done these things because I want to appear as young on the outside as I feel on the inside. Still not a very rational reason for undergoing these procedures, but at least I wasn't crazy enough to pay for them. I'll take my self-mutilation for free, thank you.