June 26, 2003

I am really tired right now. I've gotten the worst sleep in the last few days. I don't know why, but it sucks. My back hurts, too. I've been thinking a lot lately of the vulgar, in terms of what makes something vulgar. It's a concept I think I'd like to explore further. Is it just dirty talk? No, I don't think so. I only wonder about it because people often think they can find beauty in the disgusting. I don't know if it's because to imagine something repugnant, you have to imagine the opposite, otherwise it couldn't exist. It all seems to tie into a kind of rapture to me. You get lost in the incredibly vulgar and the incredibly pure in the same way, I think. There's a similar attraction to the essence of something that forces you to look at it and examine it and let it run between your fingers.