March 28, 2007

Another IM conversation with my brother, or People are Gross

Me My Brother



two gross bathroom things


I'm in the bathroom and some guy is taking a dump
and I hear him unwrap something and start eating
while he's crapping!


and he's not even trying to hide it!
he's like going umm umm umm umm while chewing

ha, ha
could you tell what he was eating

honestly I would guess a sandwich or something like that

so what's the second thing

so. . .I just went in the bathroom to go pee
and the cleaning lady opens the door and says hello!

while your in the bathroom?

I say yeah someone is in here

like it's not big thing

but she still comes in anyways!

ha, ha

was she embarrassed that you were in there

so I hurry up and ask why did you even ask if anyone was in here

she doesn't say a thing
and I walked out
thats the third time that has happened

that she's walked in on you

a cleaning lady yeah
so I'm calling the management company to complain
I've had enough

yeah, what if it were a man walking into the lady's room, people wouldn't put up with that
Although I wouldn't call that second thing gross as much as I would call in stupid


March 27, 2007

My husband thinks I'm an unwarranted bitch.

My feelings are a little hurt because my husband thinks I'm a bitch when it's not necessarily warranted. I take my bitching duties very seriously and wouldn't be a bitch to someone who didn't deserve it. Anyway, I was telling him how a couple of people associated with the play were pissing me off and so I responded in kind. He told he thinks I relish the bitch role too much sometimes and maybe I'm the one at fault. OK, I have no problem fixing a problem if I'm the source, and if people told me to fix a problem in an appropriately respectful way, there's no problem. But when people try to be snotty about it and lord some kind of imaginary authority over me, that's when I flip the bitch switch. I guess I'm hurt that after 12 years of marriage, he actually thought it was anything but that.

March 21, 2007


I just ate too many Cadbury mini easter eggs. The milk chocolate eggs with a crunchy candy coating. They're so good and now my stomach hurts. That wasn't good decision making on my part. So, we've started learning the dances for the musical and I was getting a little pissed with one of the choreographers last night because he kept making us do this thing over and over without a break and telling us to always be aware of formation. I was like, man, you just taught us this stupid thing. Why don't you let actually learn it before we start worrying about formation? It would be nice if we actually got what we were doing down before we start fine tuning, which only makes sense to me, but I'm not a choreographer, so what do I know? I'm enjoying myself, but I find it frustrating to be criticized by choreographers and musicals directors who don't even have the shit completely together for themselves.

March 15, 2007

Am I twisted?

Is it cruel that I want to buy this so I can watch squirrels get tossed around like so many sacks of feed? They sell something like this at a local farmer's market and I totally want to buy it so I can hang from the tree that's in the back of my house so I can watch the squirrels get messed up while I'm doing dishes. I laugh every time I see it.

March 08, 2007

Random IM conversation between me and my brother

Him: Man am I hungry
we don't have anything to eat!

Me: go eat lunch then
are you at home

Him: our cupboards are bare

Me: eat some cereal

Him: no thanks

Me: what's wrong with cereal

Him: I had cereal already today

Me: so
that's the beauty of cereal, you can have it more than once

you can't eat the same thing twice today

yes you can

no you can't

yes you can
I often eat cereal for breakfast and dinner

then you aren't get bio divergent nutrients

Well, I eat high quality cereal

then you are nutritionally deficient

no I'm not

yes you are

no I'm not



if you eat the same thing twice a day you are

no I'm not
I eat different cereals

from breakfast and dinner
or from day to day?


what about the beta ceretine or protein.
or iron

I get that from lunch
I try to eat veggie loaded lunches

still not good enough

yes it is

need to eat different stuff
for sure

I do eat different stuff, it's not like I eat cereal for breakfast and dinner all the time

now you change the answer!

No I didn't
I said I often have it for breakfast and dinner, not I always have it for breakfast and dinner.

then you are often nutritionally deficient but not all days

I am always perfectly balanced, just like one of the dog whisperer's dogs

Why, why, why?

My brother and sister-in-law are leaving today for an 8-day vacation in Europe. I'm really, really happy for them. Actually, I'm green with envy, but the boy says he will bring back chocolate, so I guess I'll wish them a good time. Might have a ghost hunt lined up. Apparently, there are a couple of spirits in the theatre where we're performing Zombies, so you know I am all over that bitch. Maybe I'll actually see something this time.

March 05, 2007

This stinks.

OK, I'm home by myself right now, except for the dog, and there's absolutely nothing on television that I'd like to watch. Do you know how often I get the opportunity to watch whatever I want? Not often. And I can't even enjoy it this time. I don't have rehearsal tonight, so it's a nice little break. I should actually work on my lines, as I haven't really done that yet. My dog has an ear infection. As you can tell, I've got a lot of exciting stuff going on in my life right now. Here's a picture of my dog. Isn't she cute?

Now she's walking around sniffing this bench where we keep her freeze dried cow lung, which is like doggie crack or something because she can't get enough of it. I only let her have a little every day, though, because too much of a good thing usually kills you.

So Britney Spears, mmm,mmm, mmm. Is that girl a hot mess or what? I feel bad for her kids. Someone needs to give her a good slap to the face and tell her to get the fuck over herself already and realize she's got kids to raise and that she's got a lot less problems than most people. I don't know if I can live in a world where K-Fed comes out looking like the better parent. It's just not something that my mind can comprehend and trying to is pushing the grey matter to critical mass. That's all I've got to say about that.

March 04, 2007

That was a very good movie

I just finished watching Stranger than Fiction with Will Ferrel and Emma Thompson and it was a really good movie. Not that I wasn't expecting it not to be because, hey, I did order it from Netflix and it's not like I wanted it to suck or anything, but I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did. So if you haven't already, go watch it. That is a command.

March 01, 2007

Happy days are here again

Short and sweet, we have a new iMac and we have new high speed internet access. The world is my oyster. Play practice is going well, and that's about all I have time to say.