May 23, 2009

It's May, so I should write somethng.

You know, life is such a strange journey. I'm not saying that because something weird in particular happened to me or anything. I'm just realizing you never know where you'll end up. I think so much lately about life and what I think I'm doing and where I think I'm going, and I don't know any of that any better than I did when I was 20. That's what's so weird about it. You'd think at this age, I'd have gotten smart about some things, but I haven't. It's just as confusing now as it's ever been. Most of the time, I feel like I'm sitting in a room looking out a window and wishing I was outside. I don't say that as a depressing thing, I say it because I'm tired of just looking. People talk about a mid-life crisis like it's a bad thing. I'm starting to wonder how much of mid-life crisis is about realizing you've got to make the most of the time you've got. Granted, some people take it too far, but I feel like I'm done with living my life by other people's rules. That's my mid-life crisis, I guess. I'm not content with standing on the sidelines anymore. I want to feel it and taste it and hold it and press it to my face and breath deeply. I'll worry about the rest of it later.