July 24, 2005

Sunday, Sunday, and Stories That Make Me Laugh Everytime, Vol. 3

It's a Sunday morning and I'm up earlier than I want to be and I've just finished the current trashy romance novel I was working on and my husband is still asleep and I'm bored. Perfect circumstances for posting on the ole blog. So, I figured while I'm at it, I'd bring a new story that makes me laugh everytime.

A Marker Should Take Care of It
The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I helped my boyfriend at the time move down to Florida for a job he'd just accepted. While in Florida, I met one of his new coworkers and the coworker's wife. The wife's name was Madonna (which is pretty hard to forget), and I can't remember the coworker's name at all, so let's call him Dave. Anyway, Dave and Madonna were newly-weds and had just moved down to Florida themselves from New Jersey, I think. They were a pretty funny couple just because they were, but one night at dinner, Dave starts talking about one of the first times Madonna had done laundry after they'd been married. It seems Dave had a favorite shirt, that was also his lucky shirt. It was a white button-down with gray stripes. Madonna knew this was his favorite lucky shirt and it would seem she made the fateful decision to wash Dave's favorite lucky shirt the day before he was to have an important meeting with his boss. Being as new to laundry as she was to wifehood, she poured bleach in with the load that included the favorite lucky shirt.

"When I took it out," Madonna explained, "it had sploches all over where the bleach had wiped out part of the stripes."

Needless to say, Madonna panicked because she new Dave was planning on wearing the shirt to the meeting the next day and didn't know how to break the news that she'd ruined it.

"I was really scared," she said, "because I knew he was going to blow his top when he found out what I'd done to his favorite shirt."

In a moment of inspiration, Madonna decided she'd could fix the shirt by coloring in the bare spots with a gray magic marker. So, she did just that. She carefully drew in the stripes with a marker and hung the shirt in the closet and didn't say anything. All was good in the world again.

The next morning, Dave gets up and, predictably, pulls his favorite shirt out of the closet, puts it on, and heads out for work. Dave explains that he didn't notice anything until he got into the meeting with his boss, which he'd been nervous about, which subsequently caused him to sweat a bit. While he was in with his boss, he looks down at his shirt and notices that the stripes are looking a little bit funny, in fact, he notices they're starting to look smudged.

"I didn't know what was going on and I couldn't pay attention to what my boss was saying anymore because I can see the lines are bleeding in the areas where I'm sweating, so I'm starting to get really embarrassed about it," Dave said.

Anyway, Dave went on to say that his shirt is swiftly turning gray as the stripes bleed outward and then he took a really good look at the shirt and noticed that some of the lines are a different shade of gray than other parts of the stripes and that they're crooked. "It looked like someone had drawn the stripes on freehand," Dave said. "And then I knew what had happened."

I can't remember if Dave said whether or not his boss had noticed his incredible color-changing shirt or not, but he called Madonna and asked what she'd done to his shirt and she was forced to confess. In the end, I believe Dave got a promotion as a result of the meeting, and he and Madonna were able to overcome this minor obstruction on the path of marital bliss.

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