August 17, 2005

Who's my match?

Everytime I see the eHarmony commerical, I want to do their test just to see what it says because they play like they've got the entire human psyche as it affects relationships thing figured out. So I went and took it, and here's what it says about me. Unfortunately, since I'm married, the eHarmony folks told me to not count on them sending any matches my way any time soon. They don't want to be party to busting up a good thing.

By analyzing your answers to the Relationship Questionnaire we have created the following Personality Profile. Everyone has a set of subconscious wants and desires that drive their choices and attitudes. By asking you questions about a wide range of emotional issues, this report has established general patterns in your values.

Some of the following information may seem inaccurate or incomplete. Remember, that this profile is a snapshot of your personality at a specific moment. It is not intended as an in-depth analysis of your complete being, but as a tool to aid in self-discovery.

  • You love challenges and competition. Those who know you may consider you to be a high risk-taker.

  • You respect those who win out against the odds and show persistence. You set high goals for yourself and others.

  • You love challenges and competition. At the same time, you must realize and appreciate that others may not share your zest for challenges and competition.

  • You have a natural enthusiasm for the activities you prefer. Because of your enthusiasm, you may forget that others have different wants and needs.

  • In social situations, you prefer variety, adventure and the unusual. You may lose interest if you feel a situation is becoming routine. As a result, you must be kept busy and involved with making things happen.

  • You will take issue and not shy away from confrontation when others disagree with how you feel or think.
Each person has a unique way of communicating. We use a combination of body language, facial expression, verbal tone and word choice to share ourselves with others. The following statements offer a look at the natural behavior you bring to an interpersonal relationship.
  • Having a variety of results at stake brings out the best in you. Your great strength is in directing yourself and others toward specific activities results.

  • Not having a climate of challenges and competition may cause you to create such a climate. You perform best under pressure, and may assume that others want the same...your assumption is not always true.
Improving Communication
Many different factors determine the communication styles with which you are most comfortable. Some individuals thrive on the challenge of pointed criticism, while others are at their best in a nurturing environment where criticism is offered as a suggestion for improvement. Each of us has a unique set of requirements and preferences. Below is a list of communication styles that will mesh well with your own. Having a partner who understands and practices these traits is important to your long-term happiness.
  • Flatter ego.

  • Be precise about the use of time for an active and busy person.

  • Present ideas logically--be efficient.

  • Prepare for demanding questions, and perhaps objections.

  • Be on time.

  • Ask specific questions--preferably "WHAT" questions.

  • Expect some resistance if you don't get your way.

  • Look for details that might get ignored.

  • Support results, not the person, if you agree.

  • Motivate and persuade by referring to objectives and RESULTS.
Following are some of the specific strengths and/or personal characteristics that you bring to a relationship. These may form the foundations of many of your friendships and dealings with other people. Some will seem obvious, but you may be surprised by others. Take a moment to reflect on each and consider what role it may have played in your past successes, and even failures.
  • You tend to give others a sense of self-reliance and strength in a relationship.

  • You tend to approach problems in a creative way.

  • You tend to be self-reliant and not enjoy relying solely on others.

  • You tend to have a strong sense of what is "right."

  • You tend to be tenacious about solving problems, not liking to give up until something is resolved.

  • You generally don't like to back away from a challenge.

  • You enjoy situations where you can demonstrate your skill or mastery of a subject.

  • You are a big thinker with big plans and a big image that usually carries through.

  • You are passionate about your ideals.

  • You like to resolve issues well the first time, and then move on.
n general, human beings are defined by their needs and individuals by their wants. Your emotional wants are especially important when establishing with whom you are compatible. While answering the Relationship Questionnaire you established a pattern of basic, subconscious wants. This section of the report was produced by analyzing those patterns. Our wants change as we mature and obtain our life goals. You may find it valuable to revisit this section periodically to see how your wants have changed.

You may want:

  • Time to adjust to change.

  • Others to "catch up" to your speed of doing things.

  • Others to adhere to your high standards.

  • Others to behave with the same sense of urgency.

  • Many activities, so there is never a dull moment.

  • A variety of activities.

  • As much travel as possible: short trips, long trips and excursions.

  • Recognition for your concern for quality relationships.

  • Others to work and play as hard as you do.

  • Security and safety procedures around the house: fire safety, smoke detectors, electronic security systems, etc.

  • Freedom from boredom and routine.

  • Freedom from pressure to perform or to act quickly without precedent.

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