Karaoke Friday, Friday, Friday! Shake hands with the Devil as you race through the gates of Hell.

I'm on the codeine cough syrup right now and it's fun. I went to the doctor today thinking maybe I have Strep, but she seems to think I have bronchitis, so she hooked me up with the controlled substances. I had to show my driver's license to the pharmacist to get my medication. That's kind of cool. Actually, I'm on the codeine, the mucinex and the rhino- something, something nose spray. I'm totally hooked up, man. I don't think I've ever had these many perscriptions in my body. Seriously, my head is rolled off to the side and my eyelids are half closed. I don't even know how I'm managing to type all this right now. I had my cousin's husband adjust my back while we were in DC, so that's good. That's like Sudafed, you can only buy like two boxes at a time and they've got it behind the pharmacy counter so you can't buy as many boxes as you want. It's because of the meth problem here. It's backwater country here so all the trash can think to do is make that dirty shit out in the woods. Why is it when they bust meth labs there's always like five two-year-olds running around the joint? That's messed up, you know. It's like in Trainspotters when the one baby dies because they're all a bunch of heroin jinkies. How can you say you love your child and make meth in the next room? Anyway, why am I posting right now? Oh yeah, the karaoke thing. Today's song isn't exactly what I would call one of my favorite songs of all time but it is the song I consider my personal theme song, if people could have their own theme song playing as they walk down the street, that is. It's Sheryl Crow's Strong. Also, what's with Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong. You know, I can't quite respect him because his wife goes through all his chemo and everything with him and has his kids and he just leaves them. I'm sure they billed it up as an "amicable" split, but you can't tell me she didn't play a damn major part is saving his life and now he's running around with Sheryl Crow. Wasn't she having an affair with Eric Clapton when he was still married? I only have Sheryl Crow's first album because I didn't like her songs as much after that album, but my daughter loves that Soak Up the Sun song. She sings to it everytime she hears it. My husband is downstairs watching TV right now. He said I was snoring really loudly last night but I totally don't believe him. Why does Tara Reid get paid money to be the drunken slutbag that she is? It's like people weren't getting to see it for free before E! stuck her on television. I'm sure her parents are so proud to see her up on the small screen with her fucked-up lipo stomach and fake boobs, chugging down bottles of Dom. This is the best we can do in the way of female role models? You know, I always wanted to one of the reporters on E! I want to be the person who does the "up close and personal" celebrity interviews because I'd ask them real questions. Like Eminem, I'd just straight up ask him why he hates women and is it because he really wants to have sex with his mother. It would be my test to see who really has balls. If you answer the questions, you're OK. If you don't answer the questions, then you're a prick.