June 19, 2005

I'm bored.

I'm bored, but you already know that, don't you? I don't know why I'm bored, I just am. We had a pretty active day today. Some friends came over and we walked to an art fair taking place in a park near our house, then we came back for a nice Father's Day barbeque. It was a completely enjoyable day and now I'm bored. I'm probably bored because my husband is watching this Into the West mini-series and I'm really not into it. I don't really dig Westerns. My husband, though, is a different story. He's into reading about fur trappers and stuff and he talks a lot about how he's going to go into the mountains to fight a grizzly bear when he's ready to die. Apparently, this is a man thing. The woman thing is when I say, "OK, Hon. I'm sure you will because grizzlies are always hanging out in the mountains, leaning against the pine trees waiting for old, life-weary guys with delusions of grandeur to come fight them to the death. It's totally a do-able plan."

So, I'm not into Into the West. And I'm not understanding how all the white people who end up with Indians and all the Indians who end up with white people learn to speak each other's respective languages. I lived with my mom for 18 years and I don't know Korean. How are these people learning languages so quickly? Were they all just smarter back then?

Yesterday we took my daughter and one of her friends to Chuck E. Cheese. I've talked before about how much I loathe Chuck E. Cheese and each subsequent visit does nothing to make me like it any better. Although, I have to admit, it wasn't so bad this time because with friend there, she didn't expect us to go around with her and play the games. So my husband and I were able to sit at the table and watch her and eat our food without too much hassle. I saw on a show somewhere that the guy who invented Atari invented Chuck E. Cheese so that he'd have a place to put his video games. I've probably already mentioned that, too. But, what the hell, good trivia is hard to come by.

I'm wondering about this whole Tom Cruise/ Katie Holmes thing. I think it's official that Tom Cruise has lost his freaking mind. Is it just a mid-life crisis? I don't know, but he's making an ass of himself. Not that it really matters in any way, but what makes a person just go off the deep end like that all of a sudden? And why is Katie Holmes so eager to marry him when she didn't end up marrying Chris Klein after they'd been together for five years or whatever? They don't even look right together. Not that Tom Cruise has looked right with any of the women he dates or marries, but he looks really wrong with Katie Holmes for some reason.

Although I have not actually seen any of the infamous Oprah footage, I've got to wonder why Oprah didn't ask him what the hell he was doing. I would have been like, "Yo, calm down. You know you're making an ass of yourself, right? I'm sending you the bill for cleaning my upholstery, Punk."

You know what I want? I want the Queer Eye guys to come make-over my husband. My husband said he wouldn't want to though, which kind of surprised me. Actually, I bet he wouldn't mind if they came and made him over as long as it didn't have to be on television. I think he's worried about having to expose his private life to the viewing public. Anyway, they only do guys in NY or LA. It's not fair (whine, whine, whine). Why doesn't cool stuff ever happen here? The heartland is where the Fab Five should be going anyway. How hard is it to redo guys who live in NY and LA, anyway? Even if they don't dress the part, they still know how they should be looking because they can't help seeing it every time they hit the street. They understand they're not working it the way they should. But normal guys who live anywhere else besides NY and LA, they don't know that they need help. One day I'll tell you all about the Garanimals outfit my husband picked out for himself. If I had a digital camera, I'd show it to you. But I don't, so I can't. The real test would be to remake the schlumps around here. (I'm not categorizing my husband as a schlump, by the way. Just all the other men who live here.) No, seriously, I think it would be hilarous for them to come to a place like this and take all these mid-western, 40-something dads who all dress in khakis, sneakers and polo shirts and turn them into really sharp looking guys. Then after, we could all go dancing. It would ROCK.

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