Oh...my...God!!!

I killed a cockroach in my kitchen this morning. I can't quite believe I'm sharing this with you because you'll now question my ability to keep a clean house. This is the first time I've ever seen a cockroach in my house, and with ever fiber of my being, I swear this will be the LAST time I see a cockroach in my house because I am going to kill the little bastards with the wrath of me hunting cockroaches. Which is very big, very frightening, and very wrathy. Sadam Hussein? Forget Sadam Hussein. He's an amateur compared to the chemical warfare I'm going to unleash against those buggers. They will be sorry they defiled the sanctity of my home. Actually, they won't be sorry because they're going to DEAD. So they'll be incabable of experiencing regret. But that's OK by me. After I pick up my daughter from school today, it's straight to the store to buy every cockroach eliminating spray known to man. And then the day will be mine.