October 26, 2005

Everything is just a fuzzy blur.

I was in the middle of a deep, deep dream when my husband woke me up this morning so I am feeling really out of it. I can't remember exact details, but I was in an apartment that wasn't mine, although, it once had been mine in the dream. What's really weird is was an apartment that I've dreamt before as being mine, but I'm talking maybe years ago. I think it's interesting to ponder the memory of dreams. Is there a part of our brains that holds onto past dreams like memories? When I woke up, I knew the apartment was an apartment I had dreamed before. It's not like I was having the same dream as before, but it was taking place in an apartment I had dreamt before. Anyway, there was a lot of weird stuff happening in this apartment complex. My daugther and I were in the dream together and we were going to different people's apartments. We ended up visiting some lady who was kind of like a gangster moll. You know, the kind-hearted type who didn't deserve to be running with such a dangerous crowd. My daughter and I went to her apartment for some reason I can't remember and she had all these pets. She had about four birds and a couple of cats and a dog. The cat was hooked up to some weird harness thing where it couldn't go more than a couple of feet away from its litter box and the lady, who looked a bit like Cathy Moriarity, was letting some of her birds out of their cages so they could fly around the apartment. While we're at her apartment, a couple of detectives show up to ask if we know anything about a boy who lives in the complex. Apparently, something bad had happened to the boy and it was a boy that my daugther and I had encountered earlier in the dream. The boy was always tormenting my daughter in some way, so when we saw him earlier in the dream, I basically told him to go back home and leave my daughter alone. So in the dream when the detectives show up, I asked what happened to the boy, but the didn't tell me, but I told them that he was not nice to my daughter and that he always gave her a hard time and then I encouraged my daugther to tell them the sorts of things he would do to scare her. But my daughter was too intimidated to talk to them about it, so I told them the stories she had told me but in the dream I felt like it wasn't good to be telling them the stuff myself because, maybe, they wouldn't take it so seriously. Anyway, it was weird.

I've got to meet with my daughter's teacher later today for a parent/teacher conference. Nothing bad, everyone's got to do it at the end of the first quarter. My daughter got her first report card yesterday and she was bummed out because she got a 2+ in one of her subjects. In the primary grades, her school grades on a system of 1-5, with one being the lowest and 5 being the highest. All the rest of her grades where pretty good. She got a couple of 3's, some 4's, a lot of 4+'s and a few 5's. But, of course, she's only concentrating on the 2+. This is one aspect of her personality that I struggle with a lot because I don't like people who use one little set-back as an excuse to not try at all. So she sees the one bad grade and proceeds to act like she's not smart and is stupid and is never going to be good at math. Does she say, "Well, I've got to work harder and get that grade up."? No, she just says stuff like, "I'll never be able to do it." It's really hard for me to keep my patience when she endulges in this sort of talk because I really have no tolerance for it. I try to tell her that it doesn't mean she'll never be able to do it, it only means she'll have to work hard to get better at it. She's only willing to keep up with something if it's easy, and that really, really frustrates me to no end.

No comments: