I had an interesting "discussion" with my husband this morning. He asked me how Michelle and Bennett were doing with the babies and I told him that it's the same old thing: the mother is soooo tired and the father is trying but the mother still feels like she's not getting the sort of help she actually needs and the father just feels like the wife is harping on him because she doesn't give him any credit. Of course, we suffered through exactly the same thing when we had our daughter. Anyway, as we were having this "discussion," defending our respective sexes, I found it amazing how quickly the hackles rise on this subject.
Men, your women are dead tired. They have just pushed your progeny out of their bodies into the world. But that's not the end of it. Once that business is taken care of, they get to be big ole lactating cows. From you to the baby--we never get our tits back. Right now, we really do think we hate you. We look at your face and we want to bash it in. That's the God-honest truth. You don't seem to take initiative on anything. You just sit there and let us handle it all without coming to the rescue without being asked. You've got to realize we don't have time or energy right now to think about you or worry about your ego. You're just going to have to deal.
Women, your men are dead tired. They've just spent nine months watching you transform into someone they don't know, and they don't know what to do about it. They want to help you, they really do. But they've never even held a baby before, let alone having had to see to one's every need. They're afraid to take the initiative and do something because they know you're going to yell them out for not doing it the way that you wanted them to. It's not out of laziness that they're waiting for you to tell them what to do. You've got to realize they've just become parents, too, and they're torn between feeling helpless and wanting to take action. It's not surprising they get stuck somewhere in the middle. You're just going to have to deal.
July 08, 2004
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