Podcast episode 40

My friends and I review The Exorcist. And, yes, we'd been drinking.

Podcast episode 39

Sixteen Candles and Valley Girl have never been reviewed more brilliantly than they are reviewed by my boo and I. Listen, listen, listen. All you've got to do is click the button.

Podcast 38

You just can't keep two good bitches down. My boo and I review 80's classic vampire flick Lost Boys. Come join us in the hilarity.

When the fat lady sings

One chapter ends, the next begins, and it's all going to be okay in the end.

You need to read this story

Another IM conversation with my brother telling me the oh, so touching story of butter dick. Enjoy.

Podcast 37

My boo Brian and I review Alice in Wonderland. Like all things we do, it's awesome, so listen.

Dave Matthews Band - You & Me

Pretty much been listening to this song non-stop for the last couple of days, so you should listen to it with me. We can pretend we're sitting on the grass together, looking up at the night sky and imagining a better place.

More random complaining.

You'd think I'd be sick of it by now, wouldn't you? Complaining. Actually, I'm not going to complain this time. I'm going to talk about a weird kind of clarity I've been experiencing over the last couple of days. I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately and all this thinking has solidified some stuff in my mind that has had a kind of freeing effect. It's a good feeling in a strange kind of way because now I can take action, which is always the better way of things in my mind. Thinking is fine, but it doesn't really change anything, does it? Someone asked me on Formspring why I always seem unhappy and it kind of struck a cord with me. If strangers pick up on a sense of unhappiness, what do people in my life pick up on? Anyway, life and time are not my enemies.

So here's the thing...

The problem with blogs is that the only time some people feel compelled to post is when they want to bitch about something, which can get tiresome after awhile. This is pArticularly true of me lately. I only seem motivated to write something when I'm bothered or troubled in some way. It's got me wondering why this is the case. Wouldn't you think people would want to share the best of their lives if they are so willing to share the worst? For instance, I've only felt like writing all the stupid angsty shit I've been partial to lately. It's as if I'm 17 again. However there doesn't seem to be an end in sight for the angst, so buckle I

The funks hit everybody.

I'm starting to think this mid-life crisis thing (for women, anyway) is just the angst years. For men, this happens more in their early 20's. Lucky us, we get to be all emo at the same time our kids are. It's amazing how much of my time is spent brooding. It's pathetic, really, but I can't seem to escape it. And it never even seems to be about anything specific, it's just a general malaise and feeling of lack of ease. I don't know if it's about having this feeling where there's so much potential bottled up inside with no clear idea of how to release it, but I'm thinking it's at least part of it. Or maybe it's not so much lacking a clear idea of how to release it as much as it is there are just others responsibilities that have to come first. I'm almost starting to think it's part of why I try to keep myself so busy lately. Down time means I get lost in my thoughts, and that's kind of a dangerous place to be right now.

What am I up to now?

Right now I'm in my office uploading a bunch of software on my new iMac--which is super sweet, I must say. This is my last day of vacation and I'm in the office. Eh, it had to be done so that I could jump right into what I've got to get done when I come back in tomorrow. It was a pretty mellow week, though. Just hung around with my daughter while she was on spring break. Things pick up for me next weekend when I start doing crew for a show, but that's kind of how I like things.

Can I tell you how much I want an iPod Touch? I really, really, really, really want an iPod Touch. I don't even want it for the music, my iPod Nano is still doing just fine in that department. I want it purely for the internet applications. I've never wanted a gadget so badly in my life. It's bizarre, to tell you the truth. I don't know what about it has got me so hot to trot. But it has, oh, it has. Strangely enough, I do not want an iPad. I saw one at Best Buy (which I must add is a store where I never shop and never will again after they screwed me over with one of their pay interest-free bullshit plans, but I digress) and there was nothing about it that made me want it. It's too big to carry around in your purse, which is a key purchase consideration for me. If I can't carry it around in my purse, it's basically useless to me. So, if anyone out there is thinking they'd like to do something super swell for me just because, well wink, wink.

Podcast episode 36

My boo and I review About Last Night. We originally filmed it for our gone-too-soon webshow, but wanted to share the review with you regardless. It'll make you laugh. I promise. Listen. It'll make you feel good.

I will break you.

Went skating last night with a few of the other gals interested in doing roller derby. I made the mistake of taking my daughter, who had a miserable time, which then forced me to leave early so she could escape the boredom of watching grown women try to figure out how to keep from falling on their asses every two seconds. Other than that, it was not too bad a time and I even broke a sweat. This isn't too surprising, though, because I break a sweat the moment I begin to do anything physical. Don't know why, just another one of my unfortunate quirks. I did do better than I expected considering I haven't skated since I was a teenager, which was a very long time ago. So, it looks like I'll be continuing on with this new adventure for now.

Speaking of adventures, I'm going to my first ever drag show tonight. I'm kind of excited about it. I just hope it's good. I'm a little bit afraid it won't be real drag queens, just some hairy men wearing their mother's housecoat. That would be incredibly unfortunate.

Life's just a big old party, ain't it?

Man, coming to the end of a very busy few weeks. Today and tomorrow are the last shows in the Little Shop of Horrors run and then it's on to a little bit of down time. I originally thought I'd try out for another show that I'd like to do right away, but I think my daughter's been missing me a bit lately, so I'm going to take a bit of a break and catch up with her. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to keep the pots going in the meantime. I want to get into planning and brainstorming for the new webshow idea I've got bubbling. Also, one of my friends is working with another girl to try and organize a roller derby team, which I'm all over if it happens. I've even got a name already. At any rate, there's still a lot I want to jump into even if I'm not performing. I figure I'll have plenty of time to sleep when I'm dead.

Podcast episode 35

What do you get when you mix the cast and crew of Little Shop of Horrors with the karaoke bar? Complete awesomeness, that's what. Listen to how awesome.

Slap Hands

It all kind of speaks for itself, now doesn't it?

Time to catch one breath.

We're on a two-day break from the show until we start up this week's run on Wednesday. Once we start back up, we only get one day off until the show ends on March 21. It's all good, though. I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't absolutely love it. The show is going OK so far. We had some sound problems the first couple of days, but I think they were able to level out the mics on Sunday, so it will hopefully be smooth sailing from here on out. As it is, I've already got another webshow idea percolating in the old noggin. I'm hoping to get at least one episode off with the people I'd like to do it with. If we can manage that much, it's a good thing. I don't want to talk about it too much, though, because I'd like to get things more concrete before I get too carried away with it. At any rate, I'm going  to just keep my fingers crossed that we don't run into any "complications" this time around. Here's a picture of me and my friend from the show. We're renaming it The Little Shop of Whores.

All good things must come to an end. Sigh.

Just a video goodbye to everyone who watched and laughed during the short time we were around.

Well, this just sucks.

Due to an incredibly unfortunate set of circumstances, my friend and I have had to pull the plug on KC & Sunshine Boy. Without getting into too much detail that is not mine to openly broadcast, Sunshine Boy has to bow out of the show. I am supremely bummed out about this turn of events. We were having such a good time, and I think we were making people laugh. Maybe I'm deluded in thinking that, but at least we were making ourselves laugh, and that was okay with me. I'd like to think that I'll be able to team up with someone else to continue with some sort of show, but coming up with the idea to do KC & Sunshine Boy with my friend was kind of a serendipitous moment, and those don't come along too often. But, I will not give up the ghost. You just never know who or what will cross your path. I sort of feel like crying right now, but it's not the sort of behavior I normally allow myself to succumb to and it doesn't really change anything. So until KC can walk again, I bid adieu to one hell of a good time that ended way too soon.

Daddy don't like it.

I got a call yesterday from my father and the first thing he said when I got on the phone was, "Can we talk about KC & Sunshine Boy?" I laughed and told him we could but that I was going to keep doing it. He said he figured that would be the case, but he had to say what he had to say. I knew my dad wouldn't like the content of the videos I'd put up, but I also know that the show is going to be more than the little snippets we've been putting up. I know it's probably easy for people to assume from watching the previews that the show is just going to be all about sex, but it's not. It really is meant to be a humorous talk show with some filmed sketch comedy segments thrown in to augment the episode's theme. Our first show's theme is "Helpful Sex Tips When You First Start Staying Over."

My dad basically asked me to stop doing sex stuff, and I can understand his discomfort. He's worried that people connected to my daughter will get a wind of it and harass her in some way. The truth is, that's the main reason why I try not to connect my name with show. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about what I'm doing in the least, and if I didn't have to worry about my daughter, I'd be pretty open with claiming it. I'm really not the sort of person who tries to hide who I am, but my daughter has no control over what I do, so she shouldn't be put at risk of being criticized for my decisions.

My father and I didn't get into an argument or anything, and I completely understand his need to tell me he wished I would go about doing the show in a different way, but I think what my friend and I are doing is hysterical and funny and I'll keep doing it until I think otherwise. KC really is just a character to me, in the same way as any character I portray on stage. She's just a character that I put on the internet. I guess it would be nice if people could understand more easily that she might possess elements of me, but she's not me.

As it turns out, my friend had a similar conversation with his mother. I'm taking it to mean we must be doing something right.

KC & Sunshine Boy preview 5

We share our insights on many issues.

KC & Sunshine Boy preview #4

The latest look into the excitement and wonder that are KC & Sunshine Boy. Don't hate us because we're beautiful.

This much fun should probably be illegal.

As I'm sure you can tell from my last few posts, my friend and I are well in the thick of filming the first episode of our webshow KC & Sunshine Boy. To say we're having a blast just doesn't do justice to the crazy amount of fun we're having doing this. I've been wanting to do something like this for such a long time, I can't even tell you how long because I can't remember a time before wanting to do it. We've had three filming sessions to date and even ventured out last night to do a little "location" shooting at Wal-Mart. Here are a few stills from the footage we shot last night.

Doesn't it look like we had fun? You know why? Because we did. I'm hoping to put together another preview video this weekend with what we got. I bet you guys can't WAIT. Can you? Yeah, I hear ya. Longing is a terrible, terrible thing.

Happy Valentine's Day

Here's our special Valentine's Day wish for you.

Here's another preview. Here's another preview.

We're still crazy. We're still hungry. But we're not naked. Watch. It'll be good for you. I'm a mom. I know these things.

KC & the Sunshine Boy are here…almost

Here's a preview of the awesome show my friend Brian and I are working on. Let us know what you think of what you see.

Dilemma

So my friend Brian and I are hoping to get together this weekend to start filming some of our web show. We're only planning on shooting what we can do ourselves, but there's other stuff we want to do that will require a third party to film us. A couple of weeks ago I sent an email to a guy I've met a few times who owns professional quality cameras and shoots stuff a lot. He never returned my message and I'm kind of bummed about it because I'd really like to get someone who knows at least a little something about the best way to frame a shot and lighting and those sorts of technical things. We've got friends that have said they're willing to shoot us when we need it, but they don't know anymore than we do. But I also wonder why this other guy never returned my message. I told him it was cool if he couldn't do it or didn't want to. You'd think common courtesy would dictate he'd at least respond. Oh, well. I suppose we'll figure it out somehow. As they say, when there's a will, there's a way. Maybe I'll just drive by this guy's house, throw a sack over his head, and take him to a remote location where he'll be forced to film us. Yeah, I think I'm kinda liking that idea. See. I just need to have a little more faith in my problem-solving skills. It all comes around eventually.

Let's get physical.

My brother gave me Wii Active for Christmas. I've been using it for a couple of weeks now and, overall, I like it pretty well. I like the preset workouts and I'm sweating at the end of a workout. However, I can already tell I'm starting to get bored with some of the workouts. It seems like the game repeats a lot of the same exercises and doesn't present anything significantly new. I do the game several times and week, and it's given a nice change to just doing the elliptical all the time, as I've done in the past. The main thing I wish I could do with it, that I haven't been able to see if I can, is alter the preset workouts. I like to work out a minimum of 30 minutes and a lot of the presets don't go that long, which kind of limits which work outs I choose. If I do pick one that's under half an hour, I do something like a Bender Ball workout afterward to push it up to at least 30 minutes, but I wish I could just add more exercises to what the game already has. The other thing that was kind of a bummer for me is the resistance band that came with the game wasn't very hard. It didn't provide enough resistance for me, so I switched it out for a Thera-band I had from physical therapy when I blew out my ACL. Now, it's fine, but I was just lucky to have something more powerful. I think I'm going to get the supplemental workout game. I also wish it had longer cardio routines. I'm realizing the longer I type, the more it sounds like I don't like it, but I do. I really do. You should check it out.

iPad, iSchmad

So everybody is talking about this iPad thing, which is good for Apple I suppose. But I'm still not entirely sure what the big deal is. I looked online a little to try and figure out what's so awesome, but it just kind of strikes me as being a larger iPhone or iPod Touch. Personally, I didn't understand why everyone got so excited about the iPhone, either. I've only recently started wanting an iPod Touch, and that's only because I found out you can hook up to the internet with it. I didn't know that before because I don't keep up on these kind of things. I don't even want it for music stuff. I just want it for internet stuff because I don't want to pay for internet service on my phone. It doesn't seem worth the money to me. I especially don't understand why people race to get these new gadgets as soon as they're available. I don't think it makes any sense to buy something new like that until it's been out at least a year so the manufacturers can iron out any wrinkles. Not to mention the price will go down after it's been on the market a little. Maybe my age is showing.

Is it real or is it Memorex?

Yeah, I guess some of these are accurate. But, then, some aren't. Guess I don't know myself any better than I did before.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 76% Stability |||||||||||||| 56% Orderliness |||||||||||| 50% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 63% Intellectual |||||||||||| 50% Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 70% Mystical |||||||||||| 50% Materialism |||||||||||||| 60% Narcissism |||||||||||| 50% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 70% Work ethic |||||||||||||| 60% Conflictseeking |||||||||| 40% Need to dominate |||||| 30% Romantic |||||| 30% Avoidant |||||||||||||| 60% Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||| 80% Wealth || 10% Dependency || 10% Change averse |||||| 30% Cautiousness |||||||||| 40% Individuality |||||||||||||| 60% Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 70% Peter pancomplex |||||||||||| 50% Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% Vanity |||||||||||||||| 70% Artistic |||||||||||||||||| 80% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||| 80% Physicalfitness |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Religious |||||||||||||| 60% Paranoia |||||||||||| 50% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||| 56% Indie |||||||||||| 50%

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The post that doesn't belong to me.

@smashadv on Twitter invited me to submit a guest post to his blog Obsessed with Conformity. Anyway, this is what I'm sending him. Enjoy.

I’ve got my book club meeting coming up tonight. It’s the fourth time we’ll be meeting since forming the club a few months ago. It’s also the fourth time I’ve started a book for book club and not finished it. In fact, this time around, I managed to get only 64 pages into the book (Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters), making it the least-read book of them all.

Oh, did I mention I’m the one who suggested we read this book?

I should be frustrated with myself for not being able to finish what I start, but I’m not. I’ve been thinking a lot, though, of why I’m not committing to these books even though I have very sincere intentions of reading everything we choose. I love reading, and I’m always eager to find something new and engaging. I also love talking about books and hearing the many different things that other people got from the very same words I read. As a writer, I find it fascinating to know that what I put on a page can be processed and interpreted so many wildly divergent ways depending solely upon the eyes that see it.

So what’s the problem, right? This should be a no-brainer. But when it gets right down to it, I think the reason I don’t worry too much about finishing a book for book club is because the meetings really aren’t about literature to me. Book club is about the social interaction it provides. We talk about the books, for sure. But it’s squeezed in between a lot of other non-literary discussion. The other women and I discuss the normal sorts of things: home life, kids, work, boyfriends, husbands, etc. And it gives me a sense of wellbeing to know other women out there struggle with the same challenges day-in and day-out that I do. This sort of real life human connection is something I think is becoming a little bit of an anomaly when so much interaction nowadays is via social networking media, to which I wholeheartedly admit being a slave. In fact, it’s all thanks to Twitter that this post even appears here. But there’s something really comforting about being in the company of other people and seeing their reactions and hearing their laughter and touching their hands. I have no intention of abandoning my Twitter, Facebook, Google Wave, Blip, or Formspring accounts anytime soon, but I’m going to remember I can’t get a hug from any of them.

Meanwhile, someone has already suggested Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman for our next book club selection, and I swear, this time, I’m going to finish it come hell or high water. Probably.

I'm so freaking excited I can't stand it.

So my friend Brian (whose b-day party at Hooter's was a past podcast) and I are going to do a webshow. We met yesterday to start brainstorming and came up with a whole list of episode themes and basically pounded out what kind of structure we'd like for the show. We've picked our first episode theme and we're hoping to get things in place so that we might be able to start shooting something in the next two or three weeks. To say I'm way excited about this project would be a major understatement. I'm as excited about doing this as it's possible for a human to be. Brian and I are equally warped so it's going to be a lot of fun doing this with him despite what the final project turns out to be. Mind you, we're not trying to slap together something shitty, but you never know how people will digest what you give them. We're envisioning a combination of traditional sit-down talk show mixed with some "dramatic reenactments" and interviews. Hopefully people will like what we put together, but even if they don't, this is going to be awesome fun.

The worst kind of news

We found out yesterday that the grandmother of one of daughter's best friends is basically dying of cancer. It's a very unexpected diagnosis and comes very quickly after his grandmother initially falling ill. My daughter's friend and his mother live with his grandparents, so my daughter knows her well enough from having been over at his house for play dates and sleep overs. It's a sad state of affairs, and they've given her between two weeks to a month. This particular news comes right on the heels of my having learned last week that one of the Whine Sisters (who you might remember from one of my podcasts a few episodes back) died unexpectedly of what's believed to be a heart attack. When I returned home last Saturday from vacation, there was an email waiting from Julia London telling me that Kathleen Givens had died the night before. According to the email, she was sitting next to her husband, made a strange sound, and when he looked at her, she was out and they were never able to revive her. Just like that, in the blink of an eye, she was gone. And while I'd never met Kathleen, I considered her a friend from the years of back and forth I shared with her through the Whine Sisters blog and email. I'm sad about it and feel incredibly torn for her family. How do you cope with a loss that sudden and instantaneous? About a month before all this, I learned on Facebook that an old college friend of mine had passed away over the summer from leukemia. He'd battled it before, but it returned and claimed him in the end. And even though he'd already been gone a few months when I read the news, it still felt like a punch to the gut. He was only about a year older than I am. This is the first time in my life that I've experienced such a sudden round of death among people in my consciousness and it's scary to me. Maybe I've just finally reached an age where I can expect to say goodbye to people more often than I say hello. I feel like I've been seeing too many people leave regardless of death and it hurts my heart. All I know is that it sucks and I'm not ready to be in that stage of life no how, no way.

Another random IM conversation with my brother

What in the flipping hell?

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

If you followed the link above, this is really the only part that I'm interested in you taking a look at:

This actor may be the last straight man left in Hollywood, but he does have one unusual request that makes us question his past. This one requires one man (him), two partners (in this case both women), and a room temperature traditionally-shaped bottle of Coca-Cola. When he is about to climax into one woman, the other one shakes up the bottle of Coke and shoves it up his bum. The objective is to have two explosions at once. Given his screen history, we’re guessing that this actor rather likes big explosions. And, given his bedroom history, we’re guessing that neither of these women is his wife. (Blind Gossip)

I highly respect this Coke fucker for using Coca-Cola instead of Pepsi. I don't mean to offend any Pepsi lovers out there (Yes, I do), but personally I wouldn't let my asshole drink Pepsi even if it had cotton mouth in a bad way, which it usually does. I give it Pedialyte when that happens. Anyway, my guesses are Charlie Sheen or Josh Duhamel?  —Michael K

What in the name of all that is holy is wrong with Hollywood people? Seriously. How do you even come up with the idea of shoving shaken up soda up your ass as you come? Of all the bizarre sexual things I've imagined (and there's a long list), incorporating an explosive bottle of Coke just isn't one of them. This makes me not want to even contemplate what some sick fuck out there would do with a slab of maggot-ridden steak. Mmm, mmm, mmm. There's just all kinds of crazy up in here.


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Podcast episode 34

My wubby Ed came home for a visit. We all got together at our local Irish pub to drink and bask in the glow of his presence. I also use the opportunity to expound upon why I should be Oprah's replacement.