Happy St. Patty's Day, you drunken mass.

Here's to wishing a pint of green beer to all of you. Drink up, Mateys.

Being half Irish, I relish St. Patrick's Day. However, there is a sad truth about me and St. Patrick's Day: I have never been drunk on St. Patrick's Day. In fact, I've never even had a glass of green beer in my life. I know, it's tragic. It's not been to a lack of trying, though, I should clarify. For some reason, my plans have always fallen through on St. Patrick's Day. Either something came up at the last minute that prevented me from going out or I had to do something important the next day and couldn't risk being hung-over. It sucks, really. And, of course, now that I'm a mother, I can kiss the idea of getting drunk on St. Patty's Day goodbye until the child is gone to college. Of course, it's made more tragic now by the fact that I am in the middle of Irishland. The students get off for the day, you know. (Just joking.) We do have some Guiness in the fridge at home. Maybe I'll drink a bottle tonight. See, see? See how pathetic it all is? Well, we're going to the restaurant on campus tonight for our corned beef and cabbage. Maybe they'll have green beer and I can at least cross that off my list of things to do before I die. Wish me luck.