Magic 8-Ball

I'm feeling a litte uncertain, so I'll be asking the Magic 8-Ball to unravel the mystery of my future.

KC: Will I be getting a raise?

8-Ball: Very doubtful.

KC: Is it beacause this university is stupid.

8-Ball: Without a doubt.

KC: Am I better than all this?

8-Ball: Yes, definitely.

KC: Are you lying?

8-Ball: Yes.

KC: Really?

8-Ball: Reply hazy, try again.

KC: Really?

8-Ball: My reply is no.

KC: Whew, thank God. Am I smarter than everyone I work with?

8-Ball: Better not tell you now.

KC: Why? Is that a loaded question?

8-Ball: Signs point to yes.

KC: Will my husband make lots of money?

8-Ball: As I see it, yes.

KC: Will I be famous?

8-Ball: Cannot predict now.

KC: Will I be infamous, then?

8-Ball: It is decidedly so.

KC: Do people love and admire me?

8-Ball: Outlook not so good.

KC: Is it because I intimidate everyone I encounter?

8-Ball: Yes.

KC: Will I lose ten pounds by my brother's wedding?

8-Ball: Yes, definitely.

KC: Will my daughter become a tennis sensation?

8-Ball: Better not tell you now.

KC: Why? Because her road to success will be fraught with despair and shin splints?

8-Ball: Signs point to yes.

KC: Should I encourage her to take up a different sport?

8-Ball: Reply hazy, try again.

KC: Should I encourage her to take up a different sport?

8-Ball: Very doubtful.

KC: Am I the fairest in all the land?

8-Ball: Signs point to yes.

Alright!! Since it doesn't get any better than being the fairest of all, I better stop while I'm ahead.