April 20, 2005

Get outta my way!

I am in a really pissy mood today. Partially because I forgot to take my allergy medicine this morning and I can't breathe at the moment, and partially because I'm just mad at the world today. I like that commericial showing grumpy people doing things like knocking stuff off desks, or closing the elevator door on people just before they hop in, or just randomly kicking people in the shins for the hell of it. That's how I feel right now.

My husband and I were watching a little bit of the coverage on the new Pope last night on CNN. Paula Zahn was saying how Cardinal Ratzinger's comments in the wake of Pope John Paul's death sounded like campaigning. What the hell is that supposed to mean? This is why I hate postmodernism because nothing in the world can be sincere anymore. Why do his comments have to be interpreted as "campaigning"? He can't actually believe the things that he said?

Anyway, I know there are mixed feeling about the election of Pope Benedict XVI. Some people are disappointed that he's too "conservative." I admit there are things about Catholic teaching that I don't particularly see eye-to-eye on. I, personally, don't have a problem with people using birth control. I understand that Church teaching states the use of artifical means of birth control shows a lack of respect for the natural function of the human body (which I would largely agree with). However, in this life, I'm not willing to take the chance with natural family planning and unwanted pregnancy. That's my decision, and if that means I've got to spend some time in Purgatory because of it, well that's just the way it goes. I don't think, though, that it's the Church's responsibility to change to get more in line with what I think. The Church stands for something and should stick to that. It's not the Church's job to accomodate my personal point of view. My divergence from Church teaching is my responsibilty and I'm willing to face the consequences of that. And I pretty much feel the same way about all the points where I don't follow church teaching.

I don't think homosexuality is a sin, but if the Church says it is and I call myself Catholic, then I've got the pay the piper--or St. Peter, as the case may be--when the time comes. I'm OK with that. I don't fault the Church for it's teachings. I fault myself more for not having a greater conviction of faith. Ultimately, do I think God cares more about people loving someone of the same gender or murder. I think he cares more about people killing each other and would appreciate us doing more to build love, but I don't know that. Not really. And do I think that we can have a perfect interpretation of God's word here on Earth? No, not really. We're human and imperfect. But I'll accept the burden of imperfection more readily than I'll place it on God. Maybe that makes me simple-minded. But, that's just how it goes.

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