The Drywall Man Cometh.

The drywall man is at my house right now. He came over Saturday to give the hole in my wall a look-see and basically told me that American Home Shield company, like all the other insurance companies, don't give a hoot about doing anything the right way. So for him to present an estimate that they would accept, I basically had to remove my toilet tank and prime the wall for him because American Home Shield won't cover that sort of labor because that is labor above and beyond getting my wall back to roughed-finish state. The fact that drywall man couldn't properly fix the wall without adequate access to my wall and without it being properly primed just doesn't mean a hill of beans to American Home Shield compay. They just want him to slap a piece of sheetrock in there and kind of keep it in place with bubble gum or something. And actually, they prefer if he uses Double Bubble rather than Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum because it's cheaper, you know. Drywall man is a very nice man and it turns out his kids went to the same school as my daughter. I can tell it bugs him that the insurance companies aren't interested in paying for a properly done job. He obviously takes pride in his work, as he should. In general, I hate insurance companies--all insurance companies. I hate their commercials where they try to portray themselves as a "caring" company that's interested in your welfare. Bull honkey! They just want my money. I know they just want my money. I know they are investing the money I give them to make more money for themselves so they can then train their employees in state-of-the-art denial techniques. "Sorry, ma'am, but you see, your contract states that only the rubber washer is covered. The fact that we have to take off the faucet handle and everything to get to the washer is not part of the contract. It's all there, really."

My defense is to speak in more convoluted language so that I confuse them into agreeing to something they don't understand. "I understand that that is stated in the contract, but don't you know that on odd days of the month, the gravitational pull of the moon actually transforms anything touching rubber into said rubber object itself, so really, if you come out on the 15th--which is the only day of the month I am available--you will only be replacing the rubber washer."

"Uh, yeah, I see. OK, see you on the 15th."