March 09, 2004

Interview #4

Hello boys and girls, today I've got my brother with me for your listening pleasure. He's a wild one, so be prepared for anything. To begin:

KC: What would you say is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?

MC: hmmmmm...probably when mom had that surgery on her head.

KC: And why would you say that was the worst thing to ever happen to you?

MC: Because I was very scared and worried for quite a time. It really stressed me out that I would lose my mom. that and I generally live a charmed life. ha ha ha. strike that from the record.

KC: Sorry, there's no record-striking in my interviews.

MC: say what! I'm rick james biotch! ok sorry, I'm back on target.

KC: OK superfreak, now that you've gotten that out of your system...conversely, what would you say is the best thing that has ever happened to you?

MC: being born.

KC: OK, besides that?

MC: ummm meeting [my girlfriend].

KC: I don't understand, you mean it hasn't been realizing that you have me as a sister? I'm confused...

MC: ha ha ha...its a tie...three way tie...those two and the day I discovered my penis...bwahahahaha...just kidding.

KC: Right, just like all men kid about their third arm. Now on a more serious note, have you ever been so scared that you pooped your pants?

MC: no I have never been soo scared that I lost bowel control or bladder control. however, conversely I have laughed so hard that I had a little pee squirt come out.

KC: Expand on that, if you would.

MC: in what way. what made me laugh so hard or how the pee came out?

KC: Yes that, and explain the horror you felt when you realized that you could potentially pee your pants.

MC: well, I was really drunk and walking back from the virginia tech home coming game. when my friends and I spotted a pigeon and it had a little thing on its leg like a tube. we thought it might be a messenger pigeon or something. so we all were slowly creeping up on it to grab it and see if it had a note! as we were creeping quietly and stealthily another friend of ours came from behind and totally pelted the pigeon with an apple! and just totally shot our game. it was hillarious. we all started laughing. I laughed so hard that i felt a pee squirt come out, so I stuck my hand down my pants and squeezed my jimmie until I was done laughing. then peed on a tree. the fact that I was about to pee myself actually made it funnier to me.

KC: OK, that is pretty funny and I'm actually laughing really hard right now. So what is the craziest thing you've ever done?

MC: the craziest thing I have ever done. well, I'll need a little clarification of "crazy." you have completely wreckless and stupid crazy, then you have totally unrestrained and adventureous crazy, then there is scare other people crazy.

KC: I think I am going to go with completely wreckless and stupid crazy. I'm sure that will be the funniest of them all.

MC: ok in that catagory I'll have to think a bit. I have an enourmous collection of those types of scenerios. one would have to be the time my friends from NY came to visit at radford. they decided to come visit us at radford and bought a 300 dollar vw rabbit to get them there. well when they got to radford we proceeded to do a bit of drinking that night, and decided to crash test this rabbit, so we all put on our lacrosse equipment and bucked up into this car then proceeded to flip this car as many times as possible in various construction sites until the car would no longer run then left it where it was and hitch hiked back to campus not the craziest but a crazy one.

KC: Did you flip it while you were in the car or did you all push and roll it from the outside?

MC: inside, driving it, jumping stuff and hitting hills sideways and such.

KC: How many times did you get it to roll in one go? Was it like action movie kind of stuff?

MC: yeah totally. we could get it to roll like two times easy. but not much more then that. but not much more then that. but ultimately what made it no longer run.

KC: Really? Who would have ever figured on something like that? And the lacrosse equipment was enough to keep your heads from splitting open like plump melons?

MC: no one got seriously hurt. couple bruises and such. the worst side effect was everyone got sore necks.

KC: So you basically all gave yourselves whiplash?

MC: yeah.

KC: What are you going to do when you have a son and he does stuff like this?

MC: pray. make him do sports and lift. I think it made a difference in my survivability.

KC: Well, I'm glad you're planning on being a responsible parent. Who was the ugliest girl you've ever seen and what made her so ugly?

MC: the ugliest girl I've ever seen...bat girl is right up there. she was dispicable, spelling?

KC: She wasn't that bad looking. I think you just didn't like her personality. Surely you've seen uglier people. I know I have.

MC: she was pretty ugly too though. I mean sure I've seen recovered burn victims on the discovery channel, or those two gals who are attached at the head.

KC: Come on, Mike, I mean besides her nose going up that way, what was so bad? I'm laughing, by the way.

MC: she was short, dumpy.

KC: She wasn't dumpy, she was slim. And she wasn't that short. She was probably about my same height. Her main problem was that she was a weepy drunk, which I forgot every single time we went out, until she'd start crying.

Anywho, I'm noticing that my brother's responses are slowing considerably, so my guess is he has work to do. Join us next time when I hope to have another exciting guest. Ciao.

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