March 09, 2004

Interview #3 Revisited

OK folks, I've got my friend Lynn back again...for real this time. And since I've already given you all the background you need, we'll just start where we left off yesterday:

KC: Who would you say has been the most influential person in your life?

LS:that's a tough one...I would say my Dad... for various reasons...

KC: And what would those reasons be?

LS: Well, when I was a child, he was the more dominant personality of my parents... so I think I wanted to make him happy so I followed his life plan for myself... but as I got older, I saw the mistakes he was making - like living in the past and holding onto the bad things that happened in his life, and I decided to live the opposite of him...

KC: What were his life plans for you and what are the plans you now have for yourself?

LS: He wanted me to go to college - said you need a college education to do well... I found that wasn't true... now I'm trying to find happiness for myself... trying to figure out what would actually make me happy - careerwise, and then go for it.

KC: Well, he was a little bit right about the college part, you wouldn't have met me if you hadn't gone and think about how bleak your life would have been without me. :-)

LS: LOL! That's true! I don't regret going to college, I would have chosen different majors tho...

KC: What do you think you would have studied? And for the benefit of our listening audience, Lynn got her bachelors in speech disorders, right?

LS: LOL, that's right Kathy! I would have prefered to study something more creative such as interior design or even theater or broadcasting (like you)

KC: That's understandable, a lot of people want to be like me. But on a more serious note, how would you describe the quality of your last orgasm?

LS: Now that's an interesting question! coworker stopped by, hang out a sec...


LS: phones were just going crazy too... now what you wanted to know that quality of my last orgasm? No one has ever asked me that before... I'd say it was satisfying...

KC: Satisfying in the sense that it made you scream at the top of your lungs and claw the skin off the guy's back, or satisfying in the sense that at least you had one?

LS: Kind of in between the 2...

KC: So it was kind of a toe-curler, but nothing you're going to remember until you die? Is that about right?

LS: pretty much... I've never had one that I'd never forget...probably because I don't think I've been with that toe curling kind of person... one I'm truly in love with

KC: Well, I've never had the unforgettable orgasm either, even though I've found love. What do you think is the dumbest thing guys do in bed?

LS: LOL, do you have enough time for this answer?!

KC: Oh, believe me, I'll make the time. This is for posterity....

LS: Let's see, the most stupid thing they do is think that they are satisfying you because it feels good to them... that's the intercouse itself... other things would be not listening to what you tell them feels good...I had one guy get mad because I told him I don't have orgasms from actual intercourse and most women don't... he said every woman he was with had one... I said they faked it, and he got really pissed - why would they do that???!

KC: Yeah, men don't realize we're faking to kind of reward them for their effort. You know, like throwing a puppy a bone.

LS: or to get them to stop...sometime's I've had to do that too... I've had enough, so I pretend to be finished.

KC: That is a good point. Sometimes you just know nothing is going to happen and why put yourself through the ordeal of having some sweaty guy bouncing around on top of you.

LS: seriously! We should collaborate and write a book - I've always wanted to write a book about all my experiences because they are freaking funny!

KC: Well, why don't you share your funniest experience with us right now? I know I'd like to hear it.

LS: Well, I'm not even going to bring up [my college boyfriend]... that was one for the books!

KC: I do remember you telling me that he'd want to do it when you didn't so you'd just let him fuck your tits so he would leave you alone.

LS: LOL, I totally don't remember that story! That's funny! That's one good thing those DD's are good for!

KC: Yeah, and I remember I told you I'd never be able to pull that off because I can't make cleavage no matter how hard together I try to push my boobs. Those little suckers are just too small.

LS: Here's a funny story, don't know how funny it'll come across in text, but I'll try...

KS: OK, we're all ears.

LS: A few years ago I went to a party back in PA... I ran into a guy who went to my high school and actually grew up around the block from me and was our paper boy, but I never really knew him... we talked for a while that evening and he asked me to go out to dinner with him sometime... I said sure... I wan't sure if I was attracted, but I thought I'd give him a chance...that evening he was dressed casual, shorts, baseball cap, t-shirt... I followed him to the main hwy that night from the party, and i'm on the phone with my friend Amy... he pulls over so I followed him... he gets out of his car and comes over to mine, so I told Amy to hang on a sec and I put the phone down... I open my window and ask what's up... he just lays one on me... and said, I just felt like kissing you... I thought that was weird... probably would have liked it if I was really attracted to him... so we part ways and I get back on the phone with Amy and tell her what he calls me the next day to set up a date for Friday... and we chatted awhile... then he calls me on Tues and asks what I'm doing, I had plans, but he was going to ask me if I wanted to come over and watch a video... I'm glad I had plans b/c I thought that was odd - kind of an intimate thing to do, especially since I really didn't know him that well, but we still planned on dinner on Friday...I had learned at the party from him that he was divorced for a couple of years, but he wasn't much of a conversationalist... so during the week, I pull out the old yearbook to check out his pic... he was OK... thick black hair, baby face... didn't do much in high school, I think it just had his address under his name... no clubs or sports... maybe he comes by Friday to pick me up, I open the door and had the shock of my life - he wasn't wearing the cap - he was almost totally bald and what hair he had left was graying - I dont' know how I consealed my surprise... but I said, be right back, I need to get my purse... I went in the other room and said to myself - where did your hair go? it was like it disappeared during the week! so anyway, I overcame my shock and we went to dinner... they guy didn't speak 2 words... I had to do all the after I told him a bunch of funny stories about myself, I asked him a few things... I asked him if he had any children, he had a son... which I thought was odd he never brought up... then I said, why don't you tell me something funny about yourself... (so I could eat my food).

So while I'm eating, he's sitting there thinking for about 2 minutes, then said, "I guess I'm not funny".. I'm thinking - you got that right, brother... so I go in to the bathroom to call Amy and report this horrific date... before that he asks what I would like to do next... I asked him if he liked Jazz music... he said, "I just started listening to it" so I suggested going to a local jazz club... he says nothing... so when I come back from the bathroom he says, why don't we get a video... - what's with this guy and videos? I'm thinking he just wants to get me back to his place or mine... I didn't respond... so we leave the restaurant and are heading back to his huge pickup truck... we get to the back and instead of opening the door for me, he walks to the driver side and says, be careful getting in... I'm like "nice." So we get in and I have no idea where he's driving... finally he says, do you mind if we call it a night, I'm really tired from traveling. I was thankful, and said" Oh no, no problem"... so he drives me to my apt. and fortunately there was a huge console between us... I let him kiss my cheeck and thank him for dinner... he asks I he should walk me to the door and I said, "no, it's right there, I'm alright"... and I left... he called me a couple days later but I never called him back...that's one of my weird dating stories.

KC: Well, obviously, he was blinded by your beauty and at such a loss for what to do in the presence of such magnificence.

LS: That is so right, you are so observant! My latest interest is non-American men...

KC: I believe British and Irish men, to be exact. Isn't that right?

LS: Yes, and my new one is Russian... he lives in Sarasota.

KC: OK, tell me about the Commie.

LS: He's a customer of [blank] Motorcycles... bought 2 bikes from them... sold the first one then bought the second... his name is Victor (why wouldn't it be)... I've talked to him on the phone before, as a customer calling here...I met him this weekend at Daytona bike week and chatted with him, he's attractive.. dark skin, hair, lighter eyes, maybe green and that great accent...I came back Saturday and planned on staying over night... so he and I were chatting again and he was going to go back to Sarasota that night, but he stayed and we went out with my friend Michele and this guy Charlie - Charlie's another bike owner from NJ... a real hound dog...So we're at this bar that was packed and these 2 chicks that knew Victor come over to our little group... they were literally all over him, they really wanted to take him away from us... but he kept hanging around me... at one point I'm talking to him, up by his ear b/c it was so loud. Right in the middle of my sentence, he just kisses me... I'm thinking" well, alrighty then", when we stopped I said, "was I talking too much?" he said he just felt like kissing me"... so after witnessing this, the 2 chicks are still trying to get him...we went outside and ate a turkey leg, then we all left, minus the 2 hussies... went back to the hotel lobby and Michel went to bed, so I'm with the 2 guys... I go to the bathroom and some chick hits on me - never happened to me before... cracked me up... so to make a long story short I spend the night with Victor...

KC: Mmmmm, turkey leg....OK, what did I say? So you mean you had sex with Victor the commie?

LS: Yes, for a little bit...

KC: What do you mean for a little bit? He just stuck it in a little bit?

LS: I was half in the bag and ready for sleep - he doesn't drink, but was utterly exhausted from being in Daytona since Thursday, so we just hung it up and fell asleep...No, we fooled around for about 10 minutes... then tuckered out. I woke with a pounding headache... he drove me back to Orlando that morning...

KC: And how long ago was this?

LS: Saturday night into Sunday.

KC: So this was just over the weekend?

LS: Yes. I've met more guys down here in 4 months than I have back home over the last 4 years!

KC: Well I hate to break it to you, Wilkes-Barre ain't exactly the center of the universe, you know. Did Victor call you back yet?

LS: No shit... that's why I had to get out of there...No, he said he comes to Orlando every other week, and he'll give me a call then... I may call him later just so he knows I'd be interested in seeing him again... I was so tired Sunday that I may not have given that impression

KC: Did your fooling around include a hand-job or anything?

LS: No, actually he started by "pleasuring me"

KC: I see, very interesting. Unfortunately, work calls so I have to end our little interview, but I think we'll definitely have to pick this up at a later time since I obviously will be living vicariously through Lynn's sexual escapades. It's been good talking with you, Lynn. Thanks for being on the show.

LS: Sure, no problem, it was fun! I'll talk to you later!

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