March 03, 2004

Interview #1

I have a guest with me today. Her name is Angela and she's sick with a cold, just like everyone else in this God-forsaken town. So let's begin:

KC: How does it feel to be sick right now?

AH: (Mumbles and puts head on desk)

KC: I see. What are you planning on doing while in NYC?

AH: Spending time with friends, finding true love, losing true love, getting over my cold, hopefully. Actually, eating Korean food, too.

KC: Sounds like a busy schedule. How would you bring about world peace?

AH: I would say start with interfamily conflicts first, before you get ahead of yourself.

KC: So you're saying solve problems within the family and that will spread peace and love to the rest of the population?

AH: Well, it's a start.

KC: I see, interesting perspective. So, what do you think of the current political primaries going on?

AH: I hope the vote isn't splilt among the Democrats and other third parties. As long as we get a Democrat in office, it should be OK. It goes back to the whole family thing, we have to solve the immediate clan problems before trying to deal with bigger problems.

KC: I am going to take this opportunity to state the opinions of the interviewee are not necessarily shared by the management. So, which actor are you hot for right now?

AH: Adam Brody.

KC: Who's he?

AH: He plays Seth the Jew on the OC. He's a lisping sarcastic Jew, my favorite.

KC: Hmm, that sounds interesting. If you had to, which sense you give up?

AH: Smell.

KC: Why?

AH: Most of my pleasures in life come from visual aesthetics, touch, music, but smell isn't that important. It's only important for me for food, but even when I have a cold, food is still OK.

KC: Well, Angela has left the building to go get some grub, so I guess I'll just do the talking for now. Today's been a normal kind of day. The kind of day that blends into the next and you don't even realize you lived it because it was so unnoteworthy. I do plan on going to a reading tonight at a local coffee shop, so that's something out of the ordinary. Although, it starts at 7:30 and that's when my motor starts to wind down. And if I drink coffee while I'm there, I won't be able to go to sleep when I get home. It's a no-win situation when you think about it. When I was little, I used to wonder why my parents always fell asleep on the couch so early in the evening and now I know. I know the sad truth of being so drained from the day that you don't even try to stay up to watch all those interesting late shows you wished you could watch when you were a kid.

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