Hotel Karaoke

What is it about college, drinking and The Eagles? They all just come together in a perfect sort of harmony that can't be duplicated under any other circumstances. I can't count the number of nights we all laid around drunk singing Eagles songs at the top of our lungs. I don't know if it's that we thought the songs were more profound that way or what. Good times. Good times. Here I am singing Hotel California for your listening pleasure this week. I'll be on vacation next week, so posts will be rare or nonexistant.


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Ashlee Simpson has a gross tongue.

Look at that thing. It's absolutely vile. I don't know if she's trying to channel Gene Simmons or something, but girlfriend needs to keep that nasty, white thing in her mouth.

What the...?

I don't really know what this entire thing is about, but I've just stumbled on this story. It's probably old news, but I find it really compelling in terms of the freedom of speech issue and personal responsibility. The upshot is that this woman named Deborah Frisch posted comments on a conservative blog run by a man named Jeff Goldstein. I don't know anything about what led her to post the comments, but she apparently left comments that were threatening and insulting to Goldstein's toddler son and wife. As a result, Frisch resigned her post as an adjunct instructor at the University of Arizona. Here are links to sites that delve into the story a little more:

On campus, beware the blog (Yahoo)

The Great Blogosphere Brawl (Fox News)


Protein Wisdom (Jeff Goldstein's blog)

South(west)paw (Deborah Frisch's blog)

Arizona Lecturer Quits After JonBenet Comments (Denver ABC News)

Crossing a Line (Inside Higher Ed)

I only know what I've been reading at these different links, but freedom of speech does come with an obligation to use it responsibly...just like drinking beer. Don't abuse it people. Oh, and another rule of thumb, don't threaten people's children. It pisses them off.

D'oh, my balls.

Yesterday our dog went racing across my daughter as she reclined on the sofa watching television. The dog managed to plant a paw in a sensitive part of my daughter's body, to which she reared up in pain and yelled, "Oh, my balls!" I looked at my daughter and said, "You don't have balls, honey." She looked at me and said, "I thought balls was another word for private parts." I explained that, no, only boys have balls and, even then, it's sometimes questionable.

"So, balls is another word for weiner?" she asked.

"Well, no," I answered. "Balls is another word for testicles, which is the part of the boy where the sperm comes from. Remember when I explained that to you?" I reminded her that they were in the scrotum and hung down behind the weiner and looked like balls, hence the name.

She nodded in affirmation. "Oh, yeah," she said.

"Do you want me to show you a picture in the book so you understand better?"

"Uh, no," she said while shaking her head pretty vigourously. "I don't want to see it."

Yeah, sweetie, none of us really want to see.

My dog is weird.

As you may or may not know, we've been litter box training our dog with various levels of success. Sometimes it seems like she's got it, and then other times it doesn't. We thought for sure she had the peeing part of it down, and then she'd go off and pee somewhere she shouldn't. The pooping has always been hit or miss, that is, until lately. And now I think our dog has gotten the idea that pooping and peeing in the box is a trick that she does. We've been encouraging her with treats everytime she goes in the box and now that dog will not leave the kitchen until someone comes and gives her a treat after she does her business. She'll actually bark to call someone in to see what she's done. Believe me, I prefer that to her going somewhere else in the house, but it's pretty amusing. She also forces out droplets of pee to get a treat. It's pretty funny in a really pathetic sort of way. And it all makes me wonder, who is really being trained here.



And here's a picture of my daughter and one of her cousins doing what all proper Korean children learn to do one day, clean lettuce.



Hard to believe the same blood runs through their veins, isn't it?

Sister Karaoke

When I was in about, oh, eighth grade or so, this song was pretty popular. I won't deny, I liked it just as much as anybody else, but I'll be damned if I really ever understood what it was about. Was it about a girl losing her virginity? Was it about a girl getting caught up too quickly in an adult world? Or was it simply about a girl and her love of "motoring"? I DON"T KNOW!!! Anyway, let's take it back to the 80's with Night Ranger's Sister Christian.


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Best term in the world.

OK, so I'm talking to a couple of my friends about making a visit to a local porn shop and how I plan on making a scene so they'll kick me out for scaring the other customers and one of my friends asked, "Wonder what you've got to do to get kicked out of a fuckerware store?" Ha! Fuckerware. That's the best term in the world.

Is that you. . .cough cough I can't see. . . I'm soo cold sooo col. . . d. . . .

Ok so my dear sister needs a bit of a lightning bolt to spice things up in her blog as of late. She has had little to inspire her to blogging greatness. (enter stage right) So I Juan Carlos De La Vega am here! (if you didn't know thats the mild mannered identity of Zorro) I'm a bit punch drunk today because I was up till 2 am in the morning working last night and been working since 7 am this morning. I have a lot of caffeine in me so I have all sorts of crazy stuff floating in my ADD enhanced brain! The first thing that comes to my mind is That Star J0nes is Ugly. I think she is disgusting. I want to learn kung fu just in the chance that I ever meet her I can bust a double round house hiya on her for offending my eyes! Second what do you think if we made special military subs that could drill under countries like china and North Korea and plant nuclear bombs so we wouldn't have to worry about missles or any of that crap. we'd just press a button and just blow the ass out of any countries that got in our way. . .that would be wicked. I'm hungry I want a chocolate croisant. well thats all I have for now I have to go walk my awesome puppy. Well, actually I have some time so I'll continue to write stuff here. My new company is awesome. They stock the fridge with free diet dr. pepper and Coke Zero my two favorite sodas. In addition we get free bagels on Fridays. screw the stock options and all the other stuff they gave me! This is the real reason I came to work here! That and huge collection of audio books the company lets us check out for free. My wife's best friend "other then me!" is coming into town tomorrow evening and they are going to run around and have "girl" time this weekend. Some might think this reason for me to feel left out that its a girls club thing. In actuality I really like this scenerio. Because this will free me up to be a drunken idiot with my friends. Now that is a good idea! Do any of you take hygene vacations? where you don't shower all weekend? just because you can? I like to do that on occasion. My wife doesn't appreciate it much but I think it can be fun.
ok my wrist hurts so I'm quiting now.

This woman should be ashamed to call herself a television journalist

This links to a video segment of a local interview done with comedian D.L. Hughley, who is apparently performing at a comedy club in town. The woman interviewing him is AWFUL. And by awful, I mean really, really sucks at it. She's got no sense of humor and has no charm. I'm offended by her lack of interviewing skills.



click here

Woman killed in Boston tunnel

BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- Falling concrete slabs crushed a car inside one of the city's troubled Big Dig tunnels, killing a woman and tying up traffic Tuesday with another shutdown in the massive building project that has become a central route through the city.

The car's driver crawled out through a window but his passenger was killed when at least four of the 3-ton panels hit the vehicle, authorities said.

Inside the Interstate 90 connector tunnel, which runs beneath an industrial area of South Boston, the giant concrete slabs could be seen lying against the tunnel wall and across the roadway. It connects to the Ted Williams Tunnel, which goes under Boston Harbor to Logan airport.

Massachusetts Turnpike Authority Chairman Matthew Amorello said he didn't believe safety was compromised elsewhere in the tunnel system, but the damaged section was closed indefinitely for repairs and inspections.

The ceiling panels fell because a steel tieback, holding a 40-foot section of the ceiling in place, gave way, Amorello said.

"There was a snapping sound heard," Amorello said. "One of the tile panels from the roof released. It caused a series of panels to be released."

The ceiling panels were erected there in 1999 and the tiebacks were bolted to the tunnel roof overhead. Other parts of the system were the tiebacks are believed to have been used were being inspected.

Boston Mayor Tom Menino demanded quick answers.

"We don't need a six-month study. We need an immediate reaction and action by the different authorities so that we can reassure the public as they drive into the city or drive over to the airport that the tunnel is safe to go through," he said.

Amorello said the contractor was Modern Continental. Messages left Tuesday with the company seeking comment were not immediately returned.

"Any responsible party will be held accountable for what happened," Amorello said. "This is an unacceptable, horrible tragedy."

Gov. Mitt Romney cut short a vacation in New Hampshire and returned to Massachusetts on Tuesday to meet with his cabinet.

The $14 billion Big Dig highway project, which buried Interstate 93 beneath downtown and extended the Massachusetts Turnpike to Logan Airport, has been criticized for construction problems and cost overruns. There have been water leaks and at least one incident when dirt and debris from an air shaft fell onto cars.

In May, prosecutors charged six current and former employees of a concrete supplier with fraud for allegedly concealing that some concrete delivered to the Big Dig was not freshly mixed.

Amorello said preliminary investigation shows that the quality of the concrete was not to blame for the fatal accident Monday night. The ceiling collapse happened about 200 feet from the end of the connector tunnel, near the entrance to the Ted Williams Tunnel, which goes under Boston Harbor to the airport.

Christy Mihos, an independent candidate for governor and former member of the Turnpike Authority Board and agency critic, called the accident "my worst nightmare come true."

Mihos urged the governor to seize control of the Turnpike's day-to-day operations.

The shutdown Tuesday morning backed up traffic for miles as commuters tried to navigate the detours. Officials urged drivers, particularly those headed to Logan airport, to use public transit instead.

The victims were identified by State Police Tuesday as Milena Delvalle, 38, and Angel Delvalle, 46. Delvalle was treated for minor injuries.

"The driver's side stayed more intact than the passenger's side," State Police Maj. Michael Mucci said. "He was able to crawl out the window. There was only about 6 to 12 inches. But he was able to get through."

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

This is the kind of thing that scares the crap out of me because it could happen anytime to anyone. I'm always a little freaked out when I go through tunnels because I'm always a little scared that the entire thing is going to come crashing down on my head. I know this is the sort of thing one should worry about as often as one should worry about being struck by lightning, but obviously, it happens. I like how the story explains that the tunnel is closed indefinitely, which it should be. But I've got to wonder about the person who would still want to drive through this thing, regardless. Because that's why they make the announcement about the closure, to inform the people who wouldn't realize that the tunnel collapsing automatically means no one can continue to use it. Shit, even if they said I could drive through it, I'd be like, "No thanks. I'll take the long way around this time."

I'm a dork.

So says my daughter when I am wearing my cool hexagon sunglasses from my college days. The sunglasses sorta, kinda look like this pair in a really vague way. Basically, the front of the frames are similar in shape to the pair here, but there aren't any extra lenses that fold in the way that these do. The lenses are also pretty dark. At any rate, I couldn't find my regular sunglasses, so I put these on. When I picked up my daughter from day camp, she said, "Mom, those glasses are sooo dorky. They are so not in style."

"You really don't think so?" I asked.

"No," she answered.

She went on to say that if I can't find my regular glasses, then I should just go buy a new pair instead of wearing my dorky old pair. I thought they were still cool. But, if she says I should go buy myself a new pair, who's going to argue? Not me. I like buying sunglasses. Although, I wonder if I should be taking style advice from an 8-year-old who thinks high fashion is the Pokemon t-shirt I made with an iron-on transfer. I don't know. This is a tough one.

Living on a karaoke

I always think of high school when I hear a Bon Jovi song. Especially when I hear anything from the Slippery When Wet album, which came out in the days when albums could be purchased on disks of black vinyl. In particular, the song I am singing today reminds me of this time I went to a church retreat with my youth group and they had a dance at the end and my friends and I danced and screamed ourselves hoarse to it, talking trash about how we were going to join a rock group in college. Anyway, I just want to say I didn't think Jon Bon Jovi was much to look at back in the day, but I do think he's aged well. Very well, indeed. So here I am singing Living on a Prayer.


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Grandma's Boy

I watched Grandma's Boy last night and I can honestly say it was a stupid movie. I don't mind stupid movies, but if they don't make me laugh, then I can't give up the love. I didn't laugh too much at it. Although, I have to say I thought Shirley Jones was brilliant as an over-sexed septuagenarian. I always knew Mrs. Partridge was a little freaky. It's unexpected to hear Mrs. Partridge talk about hand-jobs, and that's good. Unexpected is good. Other than that, it was just a dumb movie. Probably because I'm not big on drug humor. I don't understand what about being high is funny. I actually thought the funniest parts of the movie had nothing to do with the drugs. For instance, I thought the character of JP was funny because he was such a tool. The screwball druggie is just too played out for me. So I'm going to have to say I do not recommend you watch Grandma's Boy. It just didn't do it for me.

I hate everyone.

Well, not everyone. But I do hate the people who blew off fireworks all freaking night long. Is it really necessary to light fireworks past midnight? I don't think so. Needless to say, I'm a little tired and a whole lot grouchy today. At any rate, we had a pretty busy weekend. My parents brought back my daughter from DC, so she's home again and things should be back to normal. People asked if we missed her and I have to say I didn't because having the dog to take care of is almost like taking care of a kid, so nothing seemed that different because of it. We ran to Chicago for a night to check up on my uncle who had a kidney transplant about a week ago. It's actually his second one. The last kidney he had basically wore out. He had it about ten years before it gave out, and had been on dialysis for several years before this kidney came available. He had to be readmitted becuase he wasn't draning fluid and his ankles and face were super swollen. Hopefully, they'll be able to get him squared away now that he's back in the hospital.