I'm on a mission from Karaoke.

When I lived in Utah, I used to always want to sing this song at a high school talent show or something because I thought it would be funny to sing about missionary men in the land of missionaries. I never did, but maybe I'll still get my chance. My 20th high school reunion is next year. Maybe I'll take along my karaoke mic and do a little impromptu performance. So here I am singing the Eurythimics' Missionary Man.

Podcast #13

Beth the random interjector and I discuss the spooky world of ghost hunting.

Time to do the laundry.

How do I know this? Because I'm wearing a pair of my bottom-of-the-barrel underwear. You know, the underwear you only wear because it's all that's clean; otherwise, you'd wear a more comfortable pair that you like much, much more. My bottom-of-the-barrel underwear are these boy boxer-brief type underwear that looked really cute on the package, but don't really feel all that comfortable to me because they're big compared to what I normally wear (which are bikini style panties) and I feel like I'm wearing a pair of shorts under my pants, which I don't much like. Anyway, it's time to do laundry, so I'll try to throw a load of whites in when I get home. Before I got married, I used to buy all my underwear at places like Victoria's Secret. Now I buy my underwear in packs from Target or Old Navy. I like comfortable cotton bikini panties. I don't like thongs, not that I've ever worn thongs. I just know I wouldn't like thongs because I spend a good part of my day picking wedgies out of my crack, so why would I put one there on purpose. My sister wears thongs, but I think it's because she secretly desires to be like J. Lo. But that's just a theory.

Here's a picture of the underwear I'm wearing right now, except mine are grey and have a striped waist band. See? They're kind of big. They're called Pure Bliss boy short. I don't know why they think it's bliss, but I'm here to tell you it's not.

The days just go a whizzing by.

Wow, another day where I forgot to post. I know you were all devastated. I forgot to tell you in my Monday post that my daugther won two first place trophies at her taekwondo tournament over the weekend. She won sparring and forms. She was pretty stoked. My husband won a second, third and first place for his events. The first place was for an event where he was the only participant, but good job. No, seriously, I'm pretty proud of the both of them.

Last night I went to a reading of an MFA alum who has just come out with a book. My main reason for going was because I wanted to ask him about the child bride he took while in Africa. He denies he ever got married, but I know the truth. I guess in some ways he is right because he probably never considered paying the girl's father two goats and a sack of rice a marriage. I guess it's understandable. Anyway, he acted like it was complete farce. Jackass. I hate liars.

Mookie's potty training is coming along, but she is so an anger pooper. I'm really at a loss on that one. Which reminds me, did you know that girl dogs hump? I didn't. I thought only boy dogs humped things, but yesterday I'm watching Mookie play with this stuffed blue sheep that we got for her and she gets up on this thing and start humping it like a pro. I was actually shocked, which is not a frequent occurrence for me. It was pretty funny because her back legs could barely touch the ground while she was getting her groove on and, really, she was more bouncing up and down on the sheep. I wish I had a video to share.

I am in desperate need of a dye job. I think I haven't colored my hair since August and it's all drab and lifeless looking. But who's got the time? Not me. Maybe this weekend I can work it in. I also think, maybe, I need to up the dosage on my meds because I am just not coping. Thank God for pharmaceuticals. What would we do without mood-altering medications? It's not a world I want to imagine.

Who you gonna call? Me.

I went ghost hunting this past weekend with the South Bend chapter of the Indiana Ghost Trackers. It was pretty interesting. One of the other mothers in my daughter's taekwondo class is an officer for the local chapter and I told her to let me know the next time they do something because I've always been fascinated with ghosts and whatnot. Here are a couple of pictures I took that supposedly have orbs in them. That's just what they told me, but I don't really know anything about how this all works. But it's still pretty interesting.

The Great Karaoke Way

I think I've mentioned more than once that when I was young, I really, really wanted to be an actress. I still want to be an actress and if I could make a living as an actress, I'd do it. I always had dreams of perfoming on Broadway and winning a Tony. So in tribute to my long, lost and shattered dreams, here I am singing On Broadway.

Podcast #12

Sexy American Girlfriend and I share international flair with Coulo.

That dog got the devil in her.

I think Mookie is a dog possessed. She gets so frantic if you try to do anything with her. She freaks if she wears a collar. She freaks when I try to get her into her doggy fleece. She freaks when I try to trim her hair. The breeder said she thought Mookie had the best personality of the litter, so that's got me wondering what the rest of the puppies are like. I'm not saying Mookie is a bad dog or anything, but she craaaazy.

I'd hate to think she's going mad from the lonliness of being left home during the day, but what else can we do. We give her plenty of attention when she's home, but I don't know.

Dogs, dogs everywhere.

This is the dog my brother and sister-in-law are getting. They're going to name him Porkchop. Isn't he cute? But not as cute as Mookie.



Speaking of Mookie, we might be making some headway on the potty training situation. She's kinda, sorta doing the doo in the litter pan on her own, sometimes. Which is better than never, right?

Eh.

I'm feeling really apathetic about work lately. I just feel bored most of the time. I can only muster the energy to do the bare minimum. Maybe I have spring fever. I just feel like a caged animal. Let me out. Let me out, I say. I must run free like the jaguar. Or the cheetah. Roar! My daughter and husband have a taekwondo tournament this weekend. Should be interesting. Um, that's about all I can think to say right now.

Sigh.

Why does housetraining a puppy have to be so exasperating? Seriously, why? Although, I have to admit Mookie the monster is getting better. I just don't understand what makes a dog go poop where she's supposed to poop one second and then go poop where she's not supposed to poop two seconds later. It doesn't make sense. We had a pretty good Easter. We had friends over Saturday to decorate easter eggs. It's offical, my daughter is the most uptight kid in America. While the eggs were drying, my friend's two-year-old son accidently stepped on a couple of the eggs (we had them on the floor), and my daugther had an emotional breakdown because, of course, the broken eggs were two that she had colored. That kid cannot let anything just go with the flow. It worries me because I was that way as a kid and it's a hard path to walk. I don't want her to suffer from stickuptheassitis. I really don't.

Lucid Karaoke

I own only one Queensryche album, and it's the one with Silent Lucidity on it. See, I don't even know the name of the album. Anyway, whenever I hear Silent Lucidity it takes me right back to those last halcyon days of college before I had to join the real world and be a grown-up. Why? Oh, why did it have to end? So here I am smiling next to you singing Silent Lucidity.



P.S. I'm off for the Easter holiday, so have a great weekend and I hope you get lots of chocolate.

Birthday Podcast

As part of the continuing celebration of me today, Korean Celt Squared talk about my birthday.

So My Big Sister is Turning 37 today

Ah how the years tick on by! I can remember the old days In Germany when Kathy would wear her red and white roller diva jacket and her cool dude nike shoes (with her socks pulled up). I can remember her beating on me as a child. Kathy Driving around with Lee Armisted in her yellow punch bug. Kathy and Angie doing the predicessor of Karaoke in their rooms (This is the two of them singing to a tape recorder using the tops of posts from their four post bed as microphones.) Her eyes all misty over Rick Springfield (Dr. Noah Drake on General Hospital. . . He wished he had jesse's girl) She used to have the coolest pair of glasses in the world. Imagine the super trendy uber huge chanel sunglesses that are the rage these days but make the frames a light almost transparent purplish pink and no tint to the lenses. ah good visual right? I can also remember my sister trying to feed me aspirin and water when I drank myself into a stupor the night before we were supposed to leave for a trip to Florida. Ah such Good times. Just remember 30's are the new 20's! Happy Birfday Kathy! have a good one singing Karaoke and cleaning up poop!

Feel the burn.

Had a good physical therapy session yesterday because I made sure I had the good physical therapist. Before I left for vacation, I called the rehab center to ask who they had scheduled me with for my next appointments and they told me Dee (names have been changed to protect the innocent or, rather, the crap physical therapist). I asked if I could please be scheduled with Jack (names have been changed to protect the good physical therapist). The receptionist asked why and I told her that while Dee is very, very, very nice, she hurts me every time I see her. The woman just doesn't think when she's doing stuff and she ends up wrenching my knee around like the crank on an old victrola. I also explained that Dee had admitted to me that she doesn't have much experience with my injury and she's always asking Jack what to do, so it makes sense to just go with Jack. The receptionist asked me if I was the same person who had called the day before and I said, "No." Then I asked her if someone else called in to complain, but she wouldn't spill the beans. Anyway, I went in yesterday and got a good two-hour workout with weights and everything and my knee is slightly swollen which has to be good, right? That means it's getting a good working over.

One of the other mothers at my daugther's taekwondo class belongs to a ghost tracking club and I'm going to go to the next meeting to see if I can catch a ghost. I've always found the supernatural interesting and I've always wanted to see a ghost just to see what it's like. I'll be scared shitless, but it'll be something to tell the grandkids.

Podcast #11

Sexy American Girlfriend returns and Beth the Random Interjector joins me in a brand new conversation.

So much catching up to do...

First, here are a couple of picturs of Mookie the Monster. She's been an OK little dog, but it's like having another baby. Don't let anyone convince you housetraining a dog is easy.

Hmmm, it would seem Blogger is having some kind of image upload problem, so I'll have to try the pictures later. Anyway, Mookie has been OK. She's definitely a dog who likes company. She whines and cries if no one is in the room with her, which is really heartwrenching to listen to, but I'm not letting that dog have free roaming rights until she's fully potty trained. But she does sound pitiful. We're in the process of litter box training her so she can go when we're at work and school, and she seems to have the pee part down pretty well. The poop, however, is a different story. It's pretty hit or miss right now, mostly miss. The whole pooping thing wouldn't be so frustrating if she just did her business and left it alone, but she's got to smear it around and step in it and every other thing under the sun. We've got her confined to an exercise pen when we're away, so she can't mess up too large an area. But it's still pretty gross no matter what. Let's try the picture thing again.

K, looks like it's still not working. Obviously going to have to wait a bit on that one.

OK, Blogger is finally taking photo uploads, so here's Mookie.





In other news, my husband got me the kickingest ass karaoke machine of all time for my birthday while we were in DC. It's a Korean karaoke DVD player thing that comes with a DVD full of about 14,000 songs. The problem is 12,000 of that 14,000 are in korean, so I really only have about 2000, but I guess beggers can't be choosers, as they say. Anway, I'll have plenty of karaoke tunes for many a Friday to come. Rock on.