December 09, 2009

On the waiting

I'm solidly a year into my mid-life crisis and I'm not really seeing an end to it any time soon. Good or bad? I don't know. What I do know is I'm not the only woman of a certain age afflicted by this particular lament. In talking to other female friends, I've determined we're all pretty much bogged down with thoughts of our lives passing by us too quickly to grab. Our days are packed with jobs, kids, family obligations, housework, carpools, you name it, and we're all freaked out that we're losing ourselves. I've got it easier than most because I have only one child and she's old enough to start being responsible for some of herself now, which frees up some of my time to pursue things that interest me--namely theatre. But despite that, I still have this nagging sense that I'm really only in a waiting pattern, and I've got all these other things outside myself that I've got to see through before I can jump into my life. I don't want to come across as complaining because I wouldn't have done many of the things that have brought me to where I am today much differently, but waiting isn't a strong suit of mine. I suppose I just wish it was possible to put as much energy as I'd like into everything I'm interested in doing without having to sacrifice anything. And in a similar vein, it should would be swell to win the lottery. Ka-ching.

No comments: