December 07, 2005

My favorite thing in the world.

Not. Today I have my yearly woman's exam, which is one of the necessary evils we women must endure. I hate my yearly woman's exam, and I don't think I've ever met a woman who does enjoy them. Frankly, I'd be worried about the woman who did enjoy having a metal torture device shoved up her cootch, only to have it mechanically opened so someone can swab out the insides with an oversized Q-Tip. Not pleasant. The worst part is your dripping KY-Jelly for the rest of day. That's was really sucks. Sometimes they do get a little over-zealous with the KY-Jelly use. Once, when I was in college, the nurse practitioner had used so much KY-Jelly that as soon as I got up to start getting dressed, all the jelly just started spilling out and down my leg. The worst part of that was that as it came out it made fart-like noises. So I'm standing there having to talk to the nurse while the tinkling of vagina farts fills the office with their sweet sounds. Seriously, that was one of the most embarrassing days of my life.

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