My dog is sick

I had to take my dog to the emergency vet over the weekend because she was crying out in pain when one of us tried to pick her up or a couple of times when she tried to urinate. She was shaking, too, and you could just tell she was not happy. So I took her in and it turns out she has a UTI, which I think is kind of weird in dogs, but she's been dominating her stuffed sheep pretty determinately lately. So, I don't know. Maybe that has something to do with it. Anyway, when they took her in for examination, she started screaming and crying like they were pulling her claws out with pliers. It turns out they had to get a urine sample by inserting a syringe into her bladder and when they were pulling out the needle, she jerked and injured herself. Then she wouldn't let anyone apply pressure to staunch the bleeding and now she's got a pretty impressive bruise on her stomach. So they sent me home with antibiotics and pain killers. This is what she looks like on the pain killers.
Yeah, I wish I had me some of that.

Something I did while in Utah for my reunion.

While in Utah, we passed this new entertainment complex they're building in Ogden that houses an iFly place which basically allows a person to simulate skydiving. However, instead of falling, you're actually flying in a vertical wind tunnel.

Here's a picture of me in the wind tunnel. To watch a video (not of me) that shows you what happens while in the wind tunnel, just click on the picture. The guy in there with me is the instructor who basically keeps you from hurting yourself.



To say it was fun is an understatement. I basically laughed like a fool the entire time I was in there. According to the people who work at this place, there are only 12 of these wind tunnels in the world. I'm assuming they mean vertical wind tunnels open to public use. I was only there for the one-time go, but I think people who live nearby can purchase packages that allow them to come back multiple times and learn how to do tricks and stuff like that.

My friend and her three daughters also took flight and they pretty much agreed it's about as awesome an experience as a person can have.

Story from reunion, although not about reunion.

I will talk about the reunion one day. I promise. Until then, let me tell you a story I heard while at the reunion. One of my former classmates is a doctor. I think she has probably spent most of her time serving disenfranchised communities. She told us that during her residency she worked some time in Appalachia where she had a woman come in with a very interesting complaint. According to my classmate, the woman came in and said. "I got vines growin' down there."

Being perplexed, my friend asked, "What?"

"I got vines down there."

Still confused about what this woman could be suffering from, my friend performs an examination and finds that, indeed, the woman does have vines growing down there. It turns out the woman had inserted a piece of potato (possibly for contraceptive purposes) into her vagina and then forgot about it, giving it time to sprout. According to my friend the "vines" had gotten to a length where they were hanging out of the woman's underpants. When I asked what the potato looked like when she removed it, my friend said, "Exactly what you think it would look like." EWWW!

Now, I ask you, even if you had inserted a piece of potato up your cooch and forgotten about it, wouldn't you remember when you looked down to see something worthy of a 4-H ribbon growing out of there? I think I would.

Here's a picture of a rotten potato, just in case you were wondering what one would look like.

Mmm, mmm, mmm. We're having au gratin tonight.

My personality DNA

I am going to talk about my reunion when I have more time.

Does your name fit you?

This seems like fun.

Check the letters of your name and what they mean... Does your name fit you?

K: crazy
A: Hot
T: smile to die for
H: cute
L: very good kisser
E: has gorgeous eyes
E: has gorgeous eyes
N: easy to fall in love with

I would have to say, yes, I am crazy hot and I do have two gorgeous eyes.



A: Hot
B: Amazing kisser
C: good kisser
D: can kick ur butt
E: has gorgeous eyes
F: lowild and crazy adore you
G: very outgoing
H: cute
I: loves to laugh and smile
J: is really sweet
K: crazy
L: very good kisser
M:Makes dating fun
N: easy to fall in love with
O: has one of the best personalities ever
P: popular with all types of people
Q: a hypocrite
R: is a good person to be with
S: makes people laugh
T: smile to die for
U: is very sexual
V: not judgmental
W: very broad minded
X: never let people tell you what to do
Y: smile to die for
Z: can be funny and dumb at times

Now you guys give it a try.

What to say?

I'm sitting painting my toenails because I leave for my 20th high school reunion tomorrow. I'm painting them "rapid ruby." In some ways, I feel like I want to talk about going to the reunion, and in other ways, I really don't. Which I think makes sense because it probably reflects both the excitement and apprehension I feel about going. Excitement because I can't wait to see friends I haven't seen in a long time and apprehensive because I don't want to be bored playing nice to people I never liked. I know, I'm a bitch. My daughter starts school tomorrow and I'm actually more consumed with that right now than I am with reunion stuff. Let me show you the ravages of twenty years. This is me in high school.

And this is me now.

See how skinny I used to be? The bummer is that I didn't think I was skinny back then. I've pretty much always considered myself to be a little on the chunky side. But when I look at pictures of myself in high school and college, well anything before I had my daughter, I realize I wasn't fat at all. Why can't we appreciate the good things when we've got them? So, anyway, I've been doing all this "reflecting" on my life and whether or not I've spent my life well. When I look back so far, there are definitely things I'd do differently. I'd definitely have traveled more before having my daughter. The simple fact is you just can't pick up and take off any old time when you've got kids. Everything is about their school schedules and social lives. I also wish I would have taken better advantage of the opportunities that are available in college, like study abroad programs and stuff like that.

The end of summer is upon us.

Well, I think the family has officially had its last summer outing for the year. Friends invited us up to a lake cottage that they had been given use of, and we just got back. It was a pretty good time. The kids and menfolk went fishing and swimming, and my friend and I stayed at the house and read without anyone bothering us. We just sat on the deck and thought about nothing, which is about as good as it gets at this point in life. Did I mention we made smores? Because that's the most important part about spending a weekend at a lake house. It's kind of like the law, you know. What was interesting about this particular house, though, was that anything that was supposed to cook food didn't work so well. I started to grill steaks on the gas grill they had up there, but that didn't work so well, so I had to build a fire in the charcoal grill. Luckily, I had brought up charcoal, but getting the grills in and out of that thing was hard and I ended up burning my forearm with a red hot poker I was using to try and get the grill in place. Yeah, it sizzled when it hit my skin, but did surprisingly little damage to my arm; although, the skin does look a bit charred. Not just burned, but charred. So I guess that's kind of gross. So I finally got the meal cooked. Then this morning, my friends was trying to fry potatoes in this electric skillet they had in the house, but that thing didn't work for shit, either. I basically think the people who own the house decide that when something stops working so well, they just take it up to the lake house. Also, there was no air conditioning, which I don't understand. I don't know why anyone living in modern times would deny themselves the pleasure of air conditioning. There's no reason for them to not have a couple of window units or even a portable air conditioner, so it was hot and muggy to say the least. My friend and I pretty much spent the entire weekend drenched in our own sweat. So I guess that's kind of gross. But all in all, it was an incredibly pleasant weekend and thoroughly enjoyable.

Copying a meme because I lack originality

From Dantallion's Can[n]on.

Step 1: Put your iPod or iTunes on random.
Step 2: Post the first line(s) from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly. I will cross out the correct guesses as I go.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING - for which you SHALL be punished…

NOTE: Apparently, I can't do strikeout on Blogger, so I'm just coloring guessed answers red. Because red means stop. Like a stop light. Which means don't go. Anyway, you get it.

1. Toot, toot. Hey. Beep, beep. Toot, toot. Hey. Beep, Beep.

2. Ooooh, oh, oh, oh. You run, run, run away. It's your heart that you betray.

3. You know, I was, I was wondering, you know, if you could keep on because the force it's got a lot of power, it make me feel like...ooooh. Lovely, is the feeling now.

4. Right about now, the funk soul brother. Check it out now, the funk soul brother.

5. Pack it up, pack it in. Let me begin. I came to win. Battle me that's a sin.

6. Unos, dos, tres, catorce. Turn it up loud, captain. Lights go down. It's dark. The jungle is your head.

7. She works hard for the moeny, so hard for it honey. She works hard for the money, so you better treat her right.

Donna Summer, "She Works Hard for the Money." Guessed by Jess.

8. We are young, heartache to heartache we stand. No promises, no demands. Love is a battlefield.

Pat Benatar, "Love is a Battlefield." Guessed by Jess and J-Mo.

9. I see them every night in tight blue jeans in the pages of a blue boy magazine. Hey, I've been thinking about a new sensation.

Cindy Lauper, "She Bop." Guessed by Jess.

10. I've been waiting for so long to come here now and sing this song. Oh. Don't be fooled by what you see. Don't be fooled by what you hear.

11. Take it back. Take it back. Oh, oh, oh. Everybody look at me, me. I walk in the door you start screaming. Come on everybody whatcha here for?

12. Once I had a love and it was a gas. Soon turned out had a heart of glass. Seemed like the real thing, only to find Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind.

Blondie, "Heart of Glass." Guessed by J-Mo.

13. Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

14. La, la, la, la... I just can't get you out of my head. Boy your loving is all I think about.

15. Working Monday through Friday takes up all of my time. If I can get to the weekend, everything will work out just fine.

16. I'm bringing sexy back. Them other boys don't know how to act. I think you're special. What's behind your back?

Justin Timberlake, "Sexyback." Guessed by Jess and J-Mo.

17. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. Mata ah-oo hima de. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Himitsu wo shiri tai.

Styx, "Mr. Roboto." Guessed by Jess.

18. At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.

Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive." Guessed by Jess.

19. Only came outside to watch the night fall with the rain. I heard you making patterns rhyme like some new romantic looking for the TV sound. You'll see I'm right some other time.

20. Woo, gave you my money, I gave you my time. Why you wanna hurt me, girl? Are you serious? I'm just curious, why you wanna hurt me girl?

Wow! That just took way more time than I would have thought. I feel I should clarify that the only music I have on my iPod is workout music, so don't necessarily judge my musical tastes by the songs here. Don't get me wrong, I like them all, but my tastes are much broader that what they would seem from this selection.

Me as a Simpson

Don't I look cute? By the way, I bought four pairs of shoes yesterday. It's all about the baby steps.

And this is my husband

And my brother.


And my daughter. Yes, I have too much time on my hands.

Now Simpsonize yourself.

Shoes

I've been finding myself unusually obsessed with shoes lately. I like shoes, but I don't have nearly as many shoes as I'd like to have. Mainly because I'm not rich and if I bought as many shoes as I wanted, I'd be sucking on ice cubes and eating sunflower seeds for my meals. This might not be so bad because then I wouldn't have to do Weight Watchers. However, I do have a family I need to feed, so that means no shoes. Anyway, I've been wanting to buy shoes a lot lately because of my reunion. I don't know why. You'd think if I wanted to buy anything, I'd want to get one of those body-shaping lycra things that will make me look twenty pounds thinner, but I want shoes. Since I can't buy them, I look at them. The internet is great for looking at shoes. I've been spending way too much time looking at shoes. This has led me to buy shoes for my daughter because then I can rationalize the expense. It's not really for me. Plus, she needs shoes for school anyway. I tend to spend a little more money on her shoes than most people would think reasonable for shoes that will only fit her for a year or so, but I can't help it. Since she wears a uniform to school, I like her to have a little character with her shoes. Now, I don't spend $100 on her shoes, but I have been known to fork over $50, which I won't even spend on myself. I only spent $20 on my wedding shoes. That's pretty much the range I like to stick in for my own shoe purchases. I did spend $100 for a pair of Dansko clogs, but those things were worth it. They're incredibly comfortable and I'll have those shoes forever. The thing with looking at shoes on the internet is that you get to see all kinds of shoes and their prices and I really don't understand the shoes that are like $400. If you've got $400 to spend on shoes, you've got too much money and should probably do something a little more altruistic with it. Hey, I've got an idea. If you're a shoe designer or retailer, why don't you send me shoes to test run and write reviews. I'll do that. Just let me know.

So sad.

I got a call yesterday afternoon from someone on the parent/ teacher association telling me that the father of one of my daughter's classmates had unexpectedly passed away and would I be able to make a desert for his funeral lunch. I told her of course and asked how he died. She said she didn't know, only that it was very sudden. So in my mind I'm thinking heart attack, accident. I have to admit suicide did pop into my mind because I've recently learned that a classmate of mine from high school killed herself a couple of months ago. At any rate, I told my daughter and she felt very sad for her classmate and said she'd like to make the cake with me, which she did. Anyway, I had to drop it off at the church this morning and there were already some ladies getting the meal together and I asked them if they knew what had happened, and neither one of them knew, only that it was unexpected because that's what was in the obituary. One of the women showed the obit to me and said she asked the pastor and all he would say is that the article says it was unexpected, so let's just leave it at that. So, of course, we're both assuming it's something like suicide or drug overdose or something along those lines because no one ever wants to say what really happened in those sorts of situations. We did really only talk about suicide, but who really knows. Besides my daughter's classmate, he and his wife have one other child, and I just can't help feeling terrible for those kids. You feel sympathy for the wife as well, but in my thinking she's an adult and is better equipped to handle something like this, but those kids may never understand why this happened. And I don't necessarily know that anyone can truly understand, but as a parent, it makes me angry to think that a father would willingly put his children through this sort of hardship.

Now, I know he must have been suffering from depression or maybe even battling substance abuse, but I generally look at suicide as one of the most selfish and self-centered acts a person can commit. I've known people who had family members who committed suicide that probably would have more sympathy than I would, but I only ever feel sorry for the people left to deal with the aftermath. In my mind, if you've got the wherewithall to take your own life, you've got the wherewithall to ask for help. Granted, I also understand there are people with serious mental illness like schizophrenia who commit suicide, but I usually view those people as not really having the capability to understand the consequence of their actions in relation to the world around them. I suffer from depression myself so I know how very low one can get. And as a teen (or even when I suffered from post-partum depression), I probably had incredibly fleeting moments of considering suicide at some level, but I always knew that was never a real solution to anything and I always knew there was no way in hell I'd put my family through that kind of agony. So my prayers go out to the family dealing with the loss of a husband and father and hope that they can find some kind of peace in their lives and not blame themselves for an action that rests squarely on the shoulders of the person who committed it.