Take a bite out of crime.

I watched a really interesting movie last night called Teeth. It's a comic horror movie about a teenage girl who finds she is in possession of vagina dentata, or vaginal teeth. The movie was really well done, in my opinion, and the acting was wonderful. Now, before watching this movie I'd never heard of vagina dentata, but it turns out to be a fairly common myth that appears in many cultures. Most people seem to attribute the origins of this myth to a male fear of intercourse and female sexuality. It would appear, reading these explanations, that men harbor some kind of real, deep-seeded dread that anytime they have sex with a woman, they're going to pull back a bloody nub instead of a penis. I, of course, find this all hysterical--probably because I'm an evil bitch at my very core. At any rate, the movie basically uses the myth to explore the heroine's burgeoning (and poorly understood) sexuality. She is a virgin who leads a local group of young people who pledge abstinence until marriage. However, her sacred vow is put to the test when she meets a new boy in town who fills her feelings she just doesn't understand. Unfortunately, during a romantic swim at a local watering hole, the boy becomes overwhelmed with his own lust and rapes her. This is when, to her horror (and especially the boy's) the heroine learns of her extra set of choppers. Let me just say part of what makes this film really funny is its commitment to showing all the gory details. I think you get what I mean. Traumatized by what has happened, the heroine attempts to come to grips with and comprehend her unique anatomy; however, not before other unscrupulous men (including a less-than-professional gynecologist) learn her secret the hard way. Go watch this film. It's good. It's hysterical. It's heartbreaking, but not for the reasons you might think. I give it two thumbs up.