Curtain time.

OK, OK, I can take a hint. But if this post isn't wildly exciting, you can't blame me. As my brother mentioned, I'm auditioning for a musical tonight called "Zombies from the Beyond" at our local civic theatre. I haven't been in a play since high school, so this should be an interesting experience. I've been preparing by practising the dance number from the Thriller video and I think I'm a sure thing. Another thing I've been working on is spontaneously forcing my left eyeball to pop out of its socket so that it's hanging out by the optic nerve. It's a pretty cool effect and I figure there aren't going to be too many people who can pull that one off. I'm in like flint, as they like to say.

The thing that has been keeping me from posting lately is my daughter's new iPod. My parents got her a 30 GB video iPod for Christmas and I've been obsessed with seeing how much stuff I can get on that thing. I can't stop. I feel like I have to put something new on it everyday. My brother thinks I have a problem, but, seriously, so far I've put like six movies, a dozen schoolhouse rocks videos, over 200 songs, about ten audiobooks, and God knows what else, and there's still something like 23 GB of memory on this thing. It's amazing. I feel like I will never be able to fill it up. At first I thought it was a bit of overkill because my daughter's only nine and that it was just too much technology for someone that young, but she loves it. She spends more time on the iPod then she used to spend with her DS, so that must mean something.

When will my sister learn!

Her Blog is for my pleasure! and to provide me with reading enjoyment she must post interesting witty and generally stimulating posts to this blog EVERY day! and they can't all be about my dog's bug squeezings because those are old hat for me now. Did all you people know about try outs for the play? I think thats interesting! I'd like to know her method! how she'll "Become" a zombie etc. Or hand feeding the dog thats an interesting topic. Come on now throw us a bone would ya!

Podcast #19

Shits and giggles abound as we discuss matching boxer shorts, among other things.


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It's Mookie's birthday

Today is my dog Mookie's first birthday. She had a party at doggy daycare yesterday and, by all accounts, the dogs had a marvelous time. Mookie chowed down on her birthday cake with great enthusiasum, I am told. Anyway, yay for Mookie. OK, I have this thumb nail which is my picking nail and I've managed to pick it halfway down. I've never gotten that far down to the quick with a nail and it's pretty gross looking, but I can make myself stop picking it because I kind of switched to picking from biting my nails. Obviously, something had to be done, though, so I put a fake acrylic nail on it. It looks pretty out of place with the rest of the fingers on my hand because I didn't do anything with the other nails. But, seriously, I had to do something because I was heading into dangerous territory with the nail destruction. I got it down so far that I started to have a morbid curiousity about how far down I could get it. Would it be possible for me to actually pick the entire thing off? I figure once you start wondering shit like that, having a mutant looking fake nail on my thumb isn't so bad.

Don't try this at home.

Most of the time, I'm brilliant. But I must admit that even I sometimes have a bad idea. To wit, I made myself a cup of Land O Lakes luxury hot chocolate, which has pieces of real chocolate in it. This is a fine thing, but I usually end up with all the pieces kind of semi-melted at the bottom of my cup. So today I looked down at those mushy bits and thought, "Hey, why don't I pour some hot water in here and see if I can get it to dissolve all the way?" This little experiment might have actually worked if I bothered to put hot water in the mug, but since I'm lazy and don't judge the passing of time well, I poured some water from the hot pot I'd used to make my hot chocolate in the first place, only to find out when I tried to taste my new chocolatey treat that the water wasn't hot anymore and that the final product was cold and very thin in taste. Which means it was gross. Also, it didn't really melt the chocolate pieces at all. Guess I'll have to just stick to sliding the chocolate into my mouth with a swizzle stick.

Damn

I cannot get back into the swing of things. My husband is home dry-heaving right now. My brother witnessed an actual dog butt-milking. My daughter has only been back to school one day and she is already complaining that one of her friends is trying to steal another one of her friends. It seems that everyone else has had no problem getting back to business as usual. I've been sitting here wondering why I keep smelling this sweet, fruity scent and then I finally realized it's my deodorant. Actually, it's my daughter's deodorant. I couldn't find mine this morning so I used hers and it smells like strawberries. Now that that mystery is solved, I can feel like I really accomplished something today. I am experiencing some post-nasal drip at this very second. Hold on, I've got to go get some tissue. OK, I'm back. I was gone longer than expected because I decided to use the restroom while I was there.

I only just realized.

I was in the process of switching over to this "new" Blogger and found a bunch of comments people had left that were waiting to be moderated, whatever the hell that means. I'm sorry for those of you who left comments and never heard anything back about them. I didn't know. I didn't know. Anyway, thanks for all of you who did leave comments and hopefully, I'll be more aware in the future.

It's the girls' turn.

Not as funny as the original, but everyone gets equal time here.