I hate stupid people. (Or at least annoying old biddies who sound like they come from NY and have retired to Florida.)

I just got off the phone with one stupid bitch. She called from a school in Florida wanting to subscribe to one of the journals I work for. Actually, she called last week and gave me the credit card number to charge the subscription to and then asked that I send her an e-mail confirmation when I processed the order, which I did. However, when I sent the e-mail, it came back as undeliverable. I checked the address with the one she gave me and it was correct, so what are you going to do. Anyway, she calls back today saying I was supposed to e-mail her and what follows below is an approximation to the conversation that we had, with her speaking in the heaviest most obnoxious New York accent I've ever heard. Words appearing in parentheses are subtext.

KC: Yes, I did....

SB: You forgot to send it though?

KC: No, I didn't forget. I sent it last week and it came back undeliverable.(Dumb ass, don't assume I forgot. Stupid bitch, I'll cut ya.)

SB: Oh, then you must have gotten the e-mail wrong.

KC: Well, why don't you give it to me again to make sure I have it down correctly. (And to make sure you gave it me correctly in the first place, dumb ass.)

SB: It's blah, blah, blah.

KC: Yup, that's exactly what I have and what I put on the e-mail, but it came back. (Dumb ass.)

SB: Well, maybe it's because I didn't have my computer on.

KC: Oh, your server doesn't save your e-mail messages? (Yeah, it's because your computer wasn't on, dumb ass. Whatever.)

SB: Well, you know, sometimes I send e-mails to my friends and it comes back with that message. (My translation: "I don't know what a server is because I'm a dumb ass. And I'm old.")

KC: Are any of the letters supposed to be capitalized? (That means some of the letters will be "big" letters.)

SB: It shouldn't matter if they're capitalized, but let me look how they have me down. (My translation: "Wait, maybe I don't know my e-mail address.)

SB: Well, it looks like the "S" and the "B" are capitalized, but it shouldn't matter.

KC: OK, then, let's try that and I'll resend to see if it makes a difference. (You know nothing about modern technology because you're a dumb ass.)

SB: Did you send it?

KC: Yes, I did. (Isn't that what I said I was doing?)

SB: Well, let me try this and this....(general mumbling to self.) Do you want me to call you back?

KC: You can e-mail me, I'm leaving in a couple of minutes. (Dumb ass.)

SB: What time is it there?

KC: About 10:25. I leave at 10:30.

SB: And what time is it here?

KC: I don't know, what time zone are you in? (Are you kidding me?)

SB: But I don't know where you are?

KC: I'm in Indiana and it's central time here. Don't you know what time it is where you are? (What difference does it make where I am, it has absolutely no effect on your time, dumb ass.)

SB: It's 11:30 here. (I think, but a clock is too complicated for me to figure out.)

KC: So you're an hour ahead. But don't worry, the order has been processed.

SB: But I want confirmation.

KC: OK (I am confirming right now by telling you. The e-mail doesn't say anything I haven't already told you, stupid bitch. Now you're really starting to annoy me big time.)

SB: OK, I'll e-mail you if it comes through, otherwise I'll call you tomorrow.

KC: OK, that's fine. (Get off my phone, I'm losing brain cells from talking to you.)

*Click*

I'd be much more gracious about the exchange if she hadn't talked to me in a manner that suggested she couldn't possibly be in the wrong. Anyway, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I feel much better.