Happy May Day, one day late.

Hey, it's May, but since I live in South Bend and the weather doesn't care what the calendar says, I'm basking in the steamy 39 degree day we're currently enjoying. Not! I grilled some burgers and dogs yesterday, but someone obviously didn't want me to enjoy it too much. Everytime I went out to start the fire, stoke the fire, spread the fire, grill the food, get the food, it would start raining. As soon as I walked in, the rain would stop. It was like one of those cartoons where the rain cloud follows the person around. Luckily, I wasn't cooking too much, so I was able to accomplish my task fairly easily. There's just nothing like a nice, grilled burger to make one happy. My daughter had to complain about the crunchy parts of the burger, though.

"I don't like these crunchy parts, Mom. They don't taste good," she said.

"Sure they do," I responded. "That's what makes it a good burger."

"I don't like it."

"Eat it anyway. Those carcinogen-laden chunks make the meal."

In the end, I had to chew the edges off the burger before she'd eat it. I know I spoil her, but if you knew how hard it is to get this child to eat, you'd understand the lengths to which I am willing to go to get food into her body.

One of my friends' son had his first communion over the weekend, and we went to their house afterward for a party in his honor. Anyway, I've decided I really don't like people with a lot of money. I guess I should say, I don't like people who have a lot of money and then have to make a point of letting eveyone know they have money. Among the guests were a couple, whose children also go to the same school as my daughter and my friend's son, who have money because the husband is a personal injury lawyer. Now, I'm sure most of you know that personal injury lawyers are basically the ambulance chasers. So they have money, which is a non-issue really, but the wife was the kind of person that you can tell enjoys flaunting her money. She kept raising her leg for everyone to admire the diamond ankle bracelet she was wearing. Now, that's odd, you know, to watch someone constanstly raising their leg at a party. There's no logical reason to lift one's leg at a party. So when it happens, it's weird and you have to wonder if the person is suffering from some neurological disorder. I'm pretty sure she's had a boob job. She's got three or four kids and her boobs were looking pretty round and perky to me. Plus, she had the orange hue of a frequent fake-n-bake devotee. Maybe she's a nice person, I don't know. All I know is that I wouldn't care to find out because I'm really turned off by that whole realm of moneyed housewives. Why? Because I'm jealous that they get to spend all their time at the gym. Not really. Well, yes, a little. I'm woman enough to admit that. However, I truly do find it gauche to be so obvious about having a rich husband.

Changing topics, slightly, what is it with Cheez-Its? Why are they so good. What is the secret ingredient that makes them so addictive? And it's not just tiny cheese crackers I'm talking about. I'm talking about Cheez-Its. Cheese Nips don't trap you and hold you captive the way Cheez-Its do. It's like cheesy meth. They shouldn't worry about keeping cold medicine behind the pharmacy counter, they should keep the Cheez-Its back there. I wonder if you can mainline it. Then you could get that instantaneous cheese fix. Ok, I'm feeling the eyelids droop. The allergy medicine is kicking in. Maybe I'll hallucinate a little and liven up the post. Uh, no, looks like I'm just going to be sleepy on this one. Sorry for the tease, folks.