Why do men care?

I went out with some friends of mine from Forum Friday night and we talked about our relationships, which is what women do. We got started on it mainly because we were discussing the circumstances surrounding why one of our group got divorced. Anyway, that led to all of us mentioning difficult times we've had in our own relationships. I happened to mention this to my husband the following morning and he immediately got this closed up sort of look on his face, letting me know he wasn't pleased. He said he wasn't mad, but that men just don't like having their relationships discussed. I don't know if this is true, but if it is, why is that the case? Why would men care that women discuss their relationships? I wouldn't care if my husband talked to his friends about it. I mean, if we don't talk to our friends about it, who are we going to talk to about it? It has been my experience that most men would rather have their fingernails ripped out with pliers than be forced to talk about the state of the union with their significant others. This isn't something that's really bothering me or anything, I just think it's a weird thing for a person to get their panties in a bunch about.

I am totally a superhero

So I added this application on Facebook that makes me a superhero. My name is Tremor because my primary power is terrakenisis, which means I can basically move earth with my mind. Anyway, I'm kind of hooked on it. I only wish I could be a real superhero. When I was little I used to spend a lot of time imagining I had super powers, so I'm sure this is all sort of a carry over from that period in my life. But I love the idea of fighting bad guys and protecting the innocent. I have to fess up that I was originally a bad guy when I first received my super power, but I'm good now, so it's all good now. But even if I would have had to stay bad, it would have been fine since everyone knows it's the bad guys that get to have all the fun.

God, it's cold.

You know, I don't know why I live here. I can't stand the cold. My face is still freezing from the walk to my office, and I've been inside a good hour now. Maybe I have frostbite. Figures. Some of the gals from Forum are going out for a girls night this Friday and I'm really looking forward to it. I think we're going to go to a piano bar in town. I've only ever been to a piano bar once, and it was just a few weeks ago. It was OK. We'll see how this new one is because it's supposedly better than the one I went to. The thing about being in a play is that you're with people almost constantly for a couple of months and then all of a sudden, it's over and those people are just gone from your daily life. I think the reason people end up with post-show blues is because of that. It's almost like losing an entire family of people in one day. Anyway, those of us getting together shared a dressing room, so we spent a lot of time talking and stuff like that, so it'll be fun to get up to some shenanigans.

Out of whack

Yesterday my daughter's school closed down because of the temperature, so I stayed home with her and now I'm all out of whack. I keep thinking it's Monday, but it's Tuesday, which is good in some ways because that means the week is closer to being done than if it actually were Monday. But that doesn't help to keep me out of whack.

Got the dog groomed over the weekend and they cut her hair very short. I didn't even know her hair could be cut so short. Anyway, they basically gave her a schnauzer cut. She looks cute but I don't think I like the hair being left long on her legs. I think it would have been better if they just cut her short everywhere except the beard. I know. You find this analysis of my dog's haircut fascinating. I should include a picture so you can see what I'm talking about.

Does anyone know how to unstick a trumpet mouthpiece? My daughter's mouthpiece is solidly wedged into her trumpet and we can't get it out, which means she can't store it in its case. She told me that even two college boys couldn't get it out, so that should give you some indication of how stuck this thing really is. She claims she didn't jam it in or anything, but that sucker is not moving. If any of you have any suggestions, I'm open to them all. Except ones that invole bizarre sexual practices.

Waitress

I watched the movie Waitress last night and I have to say that I really enjoyed it, but in an odd kind of way. It just made me think a lot about what we settle for in life and how we sometimes make ourselves ignore that we never have to settle. The lady who wrote and directed the movie said she made it as sort of a love letter to her own daughter because the story sort of reflects some of the things she was feeling when she was pregnant. In the end, it's a baby that makes the protagonist in the movie realize that life can be what she wants it to be and that she's not subject to circumstances outside of her control. Anyway, give it a look.

Another random IM conversation with my brother

Bro: whats up!

Me: not much

what's up with you

nothing much

did you watch the superbowl?

I didn't, but I know the Giants wons
won, which makes me secretly happy because ever since Tom Brady knocked up Bridget Moynihan and dumped her, I don't think he deserves to have good things happen to him


I'm very glad that the giants won
I think its awesome that Tom Brady got beat by a manning two years in a row
he hates that family

I know
he's probably got Manning voodoo dolls

I think that girl he dumped should really try to date payton Manning
and Payton should be a total father figure to the child
and the kid should like call Payton Manning Dad
in front of Tom Brady

Well, I think Payton manning is married, so she can't date him

dang

but it would be funny if Payton became like the father figure

ok there is always Eli

if he were like, I'm going to take the little guy under my wing

yeah totally
like an adoptive father

yeah
and then tom brady's son would be be like, you're not my father

and Sportscenter did a whole piece on them

papa payton is my real father

totally
on national tv
he's be like Payton is like my dad I love him!

he's the one who taught me how to throw a football, not you
you were too busy screwing super models
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you

totally

And then his son could go around wearing a Colts jersey all the time

Yes!
and had his name legally changed to Manning

yeah
and then his son would be like, I want my daddy to be a winner, not a loser

ha ha ha
How awesome would that be!!!

Super awesome, not to mention incredibly poetic

yes
You are right Payton is married
to a girl named Ashley

Plus, since that Gisele chick or whatever didn't even want his son to be born on his due date because it was the same day as her birthday

what?
I don't know about that
whats that all about?

Which is completely stupid because it's like his son is going to be in his life for the rest of his life, how long do you think you're going to be in his life
yeah, because if the baby came on his due date, then Tom Brady would have to be at the hospital and not with her or something like that

did she say this in the press or something?

well, it was covered in the press around the time the baby was due to be born

oh
how old is the baby
do you know?

like a month, a couple of months, something like that
maybe more like a few months
do a google search

It must be subliminal.

I just totally impulse bought the Bender ball and DVD because I saw a commercial for it on VH1. I don't ever impulse buy and that is not any kind of exaggeration, so the commercial was obviously laced with subliminal messages convincing me to buy it. Hopefully, it will work.

Why?

What made me decide coming into work was worth it with six inches of snow on the ground and a steady build up of more? I really don't know. The problem is I only live a few minutes from work so I figure nothing is ever that big of a deal. I didn't even have the excuse of getting up to get my daughter to school because all the schools closed down because of the weather. And even though I only live a short distance away, it was not easy getting in. I had to drive really slow and concentrate pretty seriously on not losing control of the car because snow removal in Indiana sucks big donkey dick. I've never lived anyplace that gets the amount of snow this place gets where snow removal is so pathetic. I went to high school in Utah and those people know how to get it up off the streets. They use snow cats. But every year it's the same thing. The local governments always act like they're surpised at the amount of snow and then are left scrambling to try and keep pace. I'm sure part of it is that they don't have a large enough force to deal with the volume, but that's idiotic, too. It fucking snows in Indiana and it gets fucking cold, that means make sure you've got the resources to take care of business. It seems pretty straight-forward and logical to me, but that's probably why I'm not a politician. I've got too much common sense.

Over.

The show is over. And now I can get my life back. Thank God. Don't get me wrong, I had a good time and got to meet some cool new people, but I am so happy to put this show behind me. The next thing I'm looking to audition for is Dracula, which they're going to run in October and November, so that gives me a nice long break.

I totally got carded Saturday night when a few of us went out after the show. That was pretty awesome. I don't know if this place just makes it a rule to card everyone, but I'm going to pretend that the bouncer really wanted to see mine.

Ha, ha.

Here's funny video of Jerry O'Connell making fun of the Tom Cruise Scientology videos. Trust me, it's funny.

Meme

K, Dantallion tagged me with this meme so I'm doing it. On a separate note, I absolutely cannot believe Heath Ledger is dead. That one really shocked the crap out of me.

Now, on to the meme.

-Link to the person that tagged you.
-Post the rules on your blog.
-Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
-Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
-Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

1 - I'm a procrastinator.

2 - I yell at people in traffic.

3 - I bury my anger deep down until I can't hold it in any longer and then explode.

4 - I can hold a grudge for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time.

5 - I've always been sad that my bellybutton is now scarred from the endoscopy I underwent when I couldn't get pregnant because I always thought I had a cute bellybutton before.

6 - I really am a bitch.

I tag Leigh, Jody, Mike, Ed, Rick, and Sherri.

Crazy, crazy, crazy

That describes my life lately, and why I haven't been able to post in a while. We just opened A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum and we're on break until Thursday night when it all starts up again. This show has a three week run, but there's always the possibility they'll extend if the turnout is strong. Anyway, if I'm not at rehearsal or a performance, I'm working or carting around my daughter to her engagements, so it's been a pretty jam-packed schedule since we've returned from vacation. It's all good, it just doesn't give one much time to stop and think. At any rate, we got a really nice review for the show, which is always gratifying and now we just have to make sure we keep delivering every night. My husband mentioned Saturday, though, after I'd done two shows and was completely beat, that it makes sense to see how actors get addicted to drugs. Not that I'm condoning it, but I can see how they start taking a little something to keep the energy up, and then next thing you know, you're Britney Spears being strapped to a gurney and rolled out of your house on national television.

Back in the hizzie.

K, I'm back. Let the revelry begin. It's so nice to be back in South Bend and have to deal with a foot of snow. Really. I mean it. Ugh. And it's so funny how we didn't hit any snow on our way back until we crossed into Indiana. Anyway, we're working with a wind chill of four degrees right now. I'm going to haul my sorry ass outside pretty soon to brush off the satellite dish because we haven't been able to get a signal for two days. That's almost an eternity. I really like the price of satellite compared to cable, but it bites when the weather screws up reception. Had a pretty good holiday, though. It was good to be back in DC. We went to the spy museum and acted out our James Bond fantasies. It was cool. I embarrassed my daughter, though, because every time I entered a room, I plastered myself up against a wall until I knew the location was secure. Kids, they just don't know how to have fun. My dog is cute. Just had to say that because I looked over at where she's sleeping on the couch and she's just so precious. Looking at her makes my insides go all mushy. K, I'm gonna eat breakfast and then shovel snow.

Merry Christmas

I'm out for a while, so Merry Christmas.

Band concert

I think the only way you can experience the joy of my daughter's band concert last night is to watch a little clip for yourself. It's truly a thing of beauty.

And before you all go thinking I'm just a hard-hearted bitch, I actually thought these kids did an incredible job considering that they have only been playing their instruments since October. This is the beginning band and everything is brand new for them.

Kids singing makes me laugh.

Last night was my daughter's annual school Christmas concert and it provided its normal level of unintentional hilarity. Kids, for the most part, just can't sing well. It all sounds fine when a bunch of them sing together, but when you've only got one or two, it's not usually pleasant. It's funny listening to them straining to hit high notes or struggling just to stay on key. I don't know why it's funny, it just is. My daughter happened to be an instrumentalist for one of the songs--she played the triangle, and she was rocking it. The only thing that really detracted from her performance was that her slip was hanging out from under her dress, but I'm probably the only who really noticed since I'm her mother. The other thing I really love about the Christmas concert is the "choreography." You know, the hand movements they do along with the songs. Anyway, their music teacher is really fond of hand-raising. Ever single song had some kind of hand raising in it. This year she got kind of daring and had the kids do modified waves (like the kind you see spectators do at sporting events) across the stage. It was spectacular, as I'm sure you can imagine. Tonight is my daughter's band concert. She's in beginning band, so I'm sure this will just add another element of holiday fun I will come to cherish. I'm taking earplugs.

Questions and answers

My friend Ed posted these questions on his blog, so I'm copying them because I want to. He invited people to post their own answers, and I'll do the same. Obviously, the answers here are mine.

What is your favorite word?

I don't know that I have a favorite word. However, I do like aigoo, which is a Korean expression of general aggravation or frustration. Like if someone does something really stupid, you'd say aigoo with as much disdain as possible. Oh, and I like schmegma a lot, too, because it's exactly what it sounds like. Most people don't realize that schmegma is the actual, clinical word for dick cheese.

What is your least favorite word?

Puce. It just sounds gross. You almost have to half puke to say it.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Hmm. I'm going to say it's probably the small moments in life. I spend a lot of time looking at the sky, at the ground, and just around in general when I'm walking because that's when you notice things like squirrels chasing each other, or a glove that someone dropped in the snow, or a bird's nest in a tree you can only see when the leaves have fallen off. That's where you find the larger meaning of things, I think.

What turns you off?

Stupidity and poor moral character.

What is your favorite curse word?

Filthy bastard. It's just fun and it makes me smile.

What sound or noise do you love?

I like listening to my daughter laugh.

What sound or noise do you hate?

I hate listening to my daughter whine.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

An actress. It's what I always wanted to be and if I could count on getting paid for doing it, I'd still do it. Alas, acting is such an uneven profession, you can't count on anything. Or I'd like to have a job where I work with my hands.

What profession would you not like to do?

The person who has to empty port-o-potties, or dig up burst septic tanks.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I don't know that he'd have to say anything. I'd just be happy I got to heaven because it's questionable right now where I'll end up.

Podcast #23

We're here with another episode of Conversations with Korean Celt. The girls and I talk to a special guest in the studio.


powered by ODEO

Hilarious

I went and elfed my family at Office Space, or Office Max, or Office Depot. I don't know, all those places are the same to me. Click the image to see the video. It's pretty darn funny if you ask me. Of course, you might not be as amused. You know what will amuse you, though? That's right, my t-shirts at my cafepress store. Click the link on the right. Damn, it's Christmas people. Don't you have to buy gifts or something. Just buy them already.

If you've got money to burn, please just give it to me.

This article was posted at the New York Post site. It's about a new lipstick that's come out with the hefty price tag of $62,000. That's right, I said sixty-two THOUSAND dollars.


KISS $62K GOODBYE
PRICEY LIPSTICK IS COLOR OF MONEY
By DANICA LO


November 23, 2007 -- IMAGINE having a lipstick so expensive that every single after-dinner touch-up costs you hundreds of dollars - per lip. This week, French cosmetics house Guerlain - lipstick innovators since the 1920s - launches KissKiss Gold and Diamonds - a $62,000 lip color wrapped in a 110-gram, 18-karat gold tube encrusted with 199 conflict-free diamonds weighing 2.2 carats, rubies and emeralds. It can be custom-engraved and will be sold exclusively through private consultations at Bergdorf Goodman.


Whew. At this price, we're hoping the lipstick comes with a built-in Mr. Right (for kissing, obv) and the consultation will buy our kids admission to Princeton.

For the price of 310,000 Wendy's chicken nuggets, a 2007 Cadillac Escalade, or nearly 400,000 Harry Potter Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans from Dylan's Candy Bar, lipstick lovers are granted a personal appointment with Olivier Echaudemaison, Guerlain's artistic director, and a custom-made shade housed - along with its own lip brush and protective black suede pouch - in a black lacquered case.

Counting pennies? Save on the $5,192.50 sales tax by having the store ship it - for a nominal $12.75 fee - out of state. Now that's a bargain.

Seriously, maybe the real reason French women don't get fat is because they can't afford to eat and mess up their lipstick.

Make appointments now for consultations beginning Dec. 1 at Guerlain, Bergdorf Goodman, by calling (212) 872-2734.



As you can see, this is totally worth $62,000. All I'm saying is if you've got this kind of money to spend on a lipstick, give it to me. You obviously have a hard time coming up with useful ways to spend your money, so just give it to me so I can buy my kid a freaking Wii, which I'm trying desperately to raise the funds for by selling t-shirts at cafepress.com. Click the link to the side. And once I'm done buying the Wii, I can use the rest to send her to college.