Questions and answers

My friend Ed posted these questions on his blog, so I'm copying them because I want to. He invited people to post their own answers, and I'll do the same. Obviously, the answers here are mine.

What is your favorite word?

I don't know that I have a favorite word. However, I do like aigoo, which is a Korean expression of general aggravation or frustration. Like if someone does something really stupid, you'd say aigoo with as much disdain as possible. Oh, and I like schmegma a lot, too, because it's exactly what it sounds like. Most people don't realize that schmegma is the actual, clinical word for dick cheese.

What is your least favorite word?

Puce. It just sounds gross. You almost have to half puke to say it.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Hmm. I'm going to say it's probably the small moments in life. I spend a lot of time looking at the sky, at the ground, and just around in general when I'm walking because that's when you notice things like squirrels chasing each other, or a glove that someone dropped in the snow, or a bird's nest in a tree you can only see when the leaves have fallen off. That's where you find the larger meaning of things, I think.

What turns you off?

Stupidity and poor moral character.

What is your favorite curse word?

Filthy bastard. It's just fun and it makes me smile.

What sound or noise do you love?

I like listening to my daughter laugh.

What sound or noise do you hate?

I hate listening to my daughter whine.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

An actress. It's what I always wanted to be and if I could count on getting paid for doing it, I'd still do it. Alas, acting is such an uneven profession, you can't count on anything. Or I'd like to have a job where I work with my hands.

What profession would you not like to do?

The person who has to empty port-o-potties, or dig up burst septic tanks.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I don't know that he'd have to say anything. I'd just be happy I got to heaven because it's questionable right now where I'll end up.