Of wigmakers and sex talks

On a two-day break from Rashomon right now. Here's a picture of me in my wigmaker garb.



Don't I look very wigmakeryish? Yeah, I think so, too. At any rate, the show is going really well and we're getting lots of compliments on it, so that's always gratifying. The show closes Sunday and then I am off to Chicago the following weekend for my big birthday celebration with my friend Ann from college. We both turned 40 a couple of weeks ago, so we're going to party like were 20 again. I can't wait.

Switching gears a bit, as I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I've been hooked on Twitter lately. It's been really cool talking with some new and interesting people that I'd never have an opportunity to talk to otherwise. One short discussion I got into with someone was about when it's appropriate to start having the sex talk with your children. I said I don't think it's ever too early and explained how I've been talking to my daughter (who is now 11) since she was four. I basically only waited until I thought she was old enough to have enough awareness of her body to grasp what I was talking about. I started with very simple language and used the words that she associated at the time with her sexual organs.

I also used a book I'd gotten when I was pregnant called A Child is Born by Lennart Nilsson to show her what the male sexual organs looked like so she'd understand that part of the explanation. I didn't get into much detail and just focused on the basics. I let her ask me questions and I told her to come to me anytime she wanted to ask me anything else that she was interested in knowing. From that point, my continuing dialogue with her has been motivated by her follow-up questions. As she's gotten older, I've gone into more detail explaining the biological and physiological processes at work during sex.

In the beginning, I told her sex was something that husbands and wives did together, and I stated it simply without trying to put some extra morality talk on top of that. As she's gotten older and realized that husbands and wives aren't the only people who engage in sex, I've explained that the ideal scenario is that sex takes place between husbands and wives, but that people do have sex when they're not married, but that it's a very personal decision and that sex is absolutely something that should only occur between adults, which means over 18--and that, really, even older than 18 isn't a bad thing.

I've also been very frank with her in explaining that I talk to her about these things because I want her to understand the potential risks she's taking if she was to decide to have sex before she is emotionally and physically ready for it. I told her that as she gets older and moves into high school and starts dating there will come a point where she might feel pressured by a boy or even her friends to have sex and that I want her to have all the information she'll need to make the right decision. I also have explained that she might start hearing things from her friends about sex that don't seem to jibe with the things I've told her and that she should always feel comfortable coming to me to ask me which things are correct and which aren't.

For the most part, I think I've been pretty successful. She still doesn't know everything, (and at this point in her life, she really doesn't need to know EVERYTHING) but I plan to answer any question she throws at me as she gets older. Yes, I plan on talking to her about birth control later on. We're Catholic and she goes to Catholic school and I know the point will come if it hasn't already where she'll be taught the use of artificial birth control is against our religion. I don't plan on telling her that's wrong, but I do plan on explaining to her the different forms of birth control available and the proper way to use them and to explain to her why people choose to use them.

I have been so adamant about her having a good understanding of sex because my first sex ed class took place when I was in 4th grade at age nine and I have never, ever felt that was too early to have learned and I firmly believe having had an understanding before I was old enough to really have to worry about sex in any serious way is what helped me stay sex-free through high school. I am very happy that no matter what, I can truthfully tell her I never had sex as a teen. (And by teen, I really mean high school, because I did have sex in college.)

So if I have any real advice about talking to children about sex, it would be to start early, be as straightforward and honest as you can be about it, and never make them feel stupid or embarrassed to ask you questions. Of the many parenting decisions I've made where I question whether or not I've done the right thing, I have not once felt I've done the wrong thing by opening this conversation with my daughter.

That number is coming from inside the house.

So I'm home alone for a week. Actually, I was home alone for a week this past Saturday, but now it's Monday, which means I'm really only home alone for another four days or so. Anyway, I'm home alone. My husband took my daughter to visit my parents while she has spring break this week. Every year my husband and I alternate taking off from work to do something with the kid one on one. This week will probably be the closest thing I experience to living by myself. I've never lived by myself, ever. I always had roommates in college, and then after graduation I moved back home and then when I got engaged, my husband and I moved in together. I never thought living alone was something I wanted to do. I'm a people person and the idea of being all by myself for extended periods of time has always kind of freaked me out. So far, it's not been too bad, but a lot of that is due to the fact that I'm pretty busy. I've got work and I'm in another play, so I just don't have a lot of time on my hands. Even now that I'm home from rehearsal, I'm only taking a little break before I start doing some cleaning.

At any rate, even though I've never assumed living alone is something I'd ever want to do, I sure do like the feeling of not having to take other people into consideration as far as my activities are concerned. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm wishing away my family or anything, but it's nice knowing I can work out as long as I want at the gym because I don't have to worry about picking up my daughter. And it's nice knowing I can run around with friends and not have to worry about whether or not I've been out too late and am expected home. It's obviously a completely self-absorbed existence, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I'm scratching my head a little in confusion, not because I have lice.

You know, I post very rarely now due to several reasons I've already mentioned. And even when I did post regularly, I never got many comments. So imagine my confusion when I see that my last post has garnered several comments in the span of a couple of days. I guess part of it is due to the fact that people obviously have strong feelings about Expelled and/or the question of intelligent design vs. Darwinsim. I'm just curious how those people ended up reading my post. Not that I mind. That's why I blog. I like sharing my thoughts with the big wide world because I'm vain and think everyone else will find my opinions as engaging as I find them. It's also why I podcast. I think my conversations are hilarious, ergo others will find my conversations hilarious. At any rate, getting back to the issue at hand—I like comments and welcome them, I just wonder where they're coming from all of a sudden.

Can't we just get along?

I just finished watching Ben Stein's Expelled, his documentary investigating the established scientific community's resistance (and perhaps active attempts to squash) to considering intelligent design as a possible explanation for the beginning of life. At its heart, the film focuses on a troubling trend within American academic/scientific circles to exclude lines of questioning that fall outside the accepted evolutionary (Darwinism) paradigm. The film presents several established scientists who have been ostracized for daring to mention or include intelligent design within the broader scholarship on evolution and human origin.

Stein also interviews scientists who eschew intelligent design as a valid line of investigation within serious scientific work. In all, I think Stein does an excellent job of warning the viewing audience of the inherent dangers of allowing a societal silencing of ideas that exist outside the accepted norm. When the film first came out, I read reviews of it which included those that said Stein was trying to make hysterical connections between Darwinism and Eugenics, such as the attempted genocide during WWII. I didn't find his presentation hysterical. I found it fairly balanced. Of course, the argument can always be made that we'll never know what sort of comments were left on the cutting room floor, but I didn't come away from the film thinking Stein was trying to say Darwinism was wrong and that people who believed in evolution were ignorant. I came away thinking he is frightened of current events that seem to be stepping on one's freedom of speech in this country and wants to bring light to a problem that the average American might not be aware of.

Having spent the last 12 years of my life working in an academic environment, I have witnessed what Stein speaks of in the film. Academics, in my experience, are probably some of the most rabidly closed-minded people I've encountered in my life. Don't get me wrong, there are many who are very open to the idea of differing opinions, but those who are not scare the living shit out of me because they've got an institutional support that allows them to justify their closed-mindedness as truth.

Let me say that I don't view evolution and creation as mutually exclusive. In many ways, I consider evolution to be creation. Evolution is perhaps, in my mind, our human attempt to understand what God created. I'm not a literalist as far as the Bible is concerned. It's not essential to me to think what is written is exactly how it happened. The world was created in six days. What the hell is six days to God? Everyday I see things and experience things that make me think it can't be an accident, this life that exists. But, I don't automatically think atheists are ignorant people. I think whatever events of their lives brought them to their beliefs are just as valid as the events that have brought me to believe in God. All I ask is for the same respect.

At any rate, this has all been a really rambling and disconnected attempt to say I liked the film and I think everyone can benefit from watching it.

Happy Friday the 13th. Hope you don't trip over a rock, have a donkey kick you in the butt as you get up.

Guess what I just learned. There's a limit on how much you can type into the title field. Did not know that. It's almost like Twitter. Speaking of Twitter, that's where I am most days now. You may have guessed by the dearth of posting going on here. As you can see, I've placed a Twitter scroll of my tweets off to the right. You may have noticed that has seen a lot of action lately. I'm only posting now because I don't want my blog to know I'm cheating on it. This is like a mercy fuck. I don't want to get rid of the old blog. It's been good and faithful, but I cannot resist the minimalist allure of micro-blogging on Twitter. Basically, I want my cake and I want to cram fistfuls of it down my throat.

Twitter is so easy because I can just type in any random though that pops into my head. I use a couple of desktop apps to keep track of the people I'm following while I work. If it wasn't for that, I probably wouldn't be as addicted to it as I am. If I had to log in every time I had a thought, I probably wouldn't do it. But TweetDesk and DestroyTwitter just make it so easy to dash off something before I've even realized I've done it. Really, who could ask for more?

Podcast #30

Here I am with the trifecta of romance writing: Julia London, Kathleen Givens and Sherri Browning Erwin. Otherwise known as The Whine Sisters, these three ladies are as full of good humor as they are euphemisms for penis, which is a lot.

Just because I'm bored and not feeling very motivated today

These are apparently the celebrities I look like. I don't know if I agree. I have to confess I don't even know who half the people on this collage are.

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family tree layout - Old photos

Podcast #29

Here's the latest episode of the old podcast for your listening pleasure. I discuss stupid boys and their stupid boy ways with their stupid boy brains. I'm also rocking a new theme song courtesy of a very talented Miss Ellie Eastman.

Podcast #28

I continue my conversation with Vincent Bilancio, newly informed by my recent viewing of Werewolf in a Women's Prison.

Another random IM conversation with my brother

Podcast #27

I speak with special guest Vincent Bilancio. He shares his experiences in the trenches of independent movie making, and gives us an insider view of such cinematic masterpieces as Werewolf in a Women's Prison and Blood Gnome.

Well, that took two forevers.

I just finished addressing all my Christmas cards and I really think my daughter gestated for less time than it took me to get those suckers ready. Seriously, it took hella long. And I didn't even write out the addresses or anything. I printed up labels, so all I was doing was stuffing, licking, and sticking. Anyway, it's done now so I don't have to worry about it for another year. In general, I haven't had much time to think about Christmasy sort of things this year. Between work, my daughter's schedule and theatre stuff, Christmas has ended up a kind of afterthought. I have to say I don't mind entirely. If it weren't for my daughter, I don't think I'd even bother with things like putting up a Christmas tree or baking cookies or any of the rest of it. Not because I'm going all Scrooge or anything, but just because it seems pretty pointless in the larger scheme of things. I just find it interesting how much pressure we put on ourselves as a society around the holidays. I have to assume most of it is for the kids, to try and give them something special, but why we suddenly think it's so important to hang lights everywhere and bake and cook ourselves senseless is escaping me the older I get. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas, and I love seeing my daughter's excitement. I guess I just wish it came with less ceremony.

20 Things

A friend of mine tagged me on Facebook yesterday with this list. You're supposed to list 16 random things about yourself and then tag another 16 friends to get their list, and so on, and so on. Since I went to the trouble of making a list, I figured I may as well post it here. Although, I turned it into 20 things because I think 16 is a weird number for a list. If you feel so inclined, pass your own list on to your friends.

1. I still think I'm going to be famous one day.

2. I can tie a cherry stem into a knot using my tongue.

3. I'd love to be the singer in a rock band.

4. I like comfortable shoes.

5. Wish I could figure out a way to get my daughter to eat a wider variety of healthy foods.

6. I have one tattoo, and have been giving a lot of thought lately to getting a second.

7. Think my brother is the funniest person I know.

8. If I ever won the lottery, the only splurge items I'd really be interested in getting would be to hire a personal trainer who'd make me exercise every day and a cook who would only make healthy meals so I wouldn't have to think about food anymore. I really hate thinking about food. If they could make a meal pill like in The Jetsons where you'd get all your nutrition and not feel hungry, I'd be totally cool with that.

9. Wish I could be with my parents and siblings more often.

10. I hate country music. I pretty much think it sucks and listening to it hurts my ears. Ditto on opera.

11. I daydream all the time. I mean ALL THE TIME. I'm daydreaming right now.

12. I really am a mega-bitch, and I don't feel even a little bit bad about it.

13. I want to have my own talk show.

14. I'm pretty sure I'm spending a long time in Purgatory.

15. I like pushing people's buttons just to see what they'll do.

16. I've got a mouth like a sailor. I don't know why I like swearing, but I do.

17. I like dirty jokes and blue humor. In fact, the nastier it is, the longer and harder I'll probably laugh.

18. I like watching surgical procedures on the Health Discovery Channel, or any channel that's showing a surgery in graphic detail, really.

19. I know how to sew, knit and crochet.

20. I have a penis whistle in my purse.

Uh, do you mind?

OK, explain this one to me. I'm at the gym doing my elliptical when an old guy (which is pretty much the only kind of guy I see exercising in the faculty work out room) gets on the machine next to me. Mind you, there are several other empty ellipticals that are not right next to me, but he doesn't pick one of those. Anyway, old man gets on the elliptical next to me and starts ellipticaling like mad. He's pumping his veiny, saggy-skinned legs as fast as his can and working up a good sweat. A sweat, I should point out, that is not lacking in a very malodorous bouquet. But it is the gym, so it kind of comes with the territory. So I continue on with my workout when I am suddenly assaulted by a very unsweaty kind of stench. And, yes, it's a fart. At least, it's the only thing I can assume it is because it smells like a fart. I didn't hear anything, so it was of the silent but deadly variety, but it smelled like rotten ass, which, of course, makes sense. At any rate, I'm trying to continue exercising while trying to hold my breath a bit at the same time until the odor fades. This isn't as easy as it sounds because, you know, I'm exercising. My body is requiring more than it's normal amount of oxygen to keep exercising, and I absolutely was not going to breath through my mouth to supply the extra oxygen. I mean, it's one thing to smell some old guy's rotten ass fart, but I'm sure as hell not going to taste that shit. Which is why I never understand when people start breathing through their mouths when they smell something bad. There are taste buds in your mouth and they taste. Why would anyone want a mouthful of fart? I don't get it.

At any rate, the fart fades enough for me to start breathing normally again, and I'm going along doing my thing on the elliptical. Not too much longer, I smell another fart. So, of course, I'm pissed. I mean, come on. How am I supposed to keep exercising when some pasty geezer keeps breaking wind next to me? Plus, it's just rude. After way too much time, the old guy gets off the elliptical and leaves. I'm incredibly relieved and continue on with my own workout. When my husband gets home I tell him the agony I had to endure and he tells me that men can't help it. He tells me men can't hold in their farts, which I tell him is bullshit. He swears to me that men can't hold in their farts. Why is it women can hold in their farts, then? Seriously. I think men just don't want to hold in their farts because they don't give a damn if they sicken people with their stink. The only thing I'm saying is if that is the truth and you men know it, don't fucking get on the elliptical next to me, then. Is that really to much to ask?

Podcast #26

The girls and I discuss a recent sex toy party we attended.

KC goes to a Supernatural convention

So, I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I was going to a Supernatural convention to see Jared and Jensen, the two guys who star in the show. Well, I did that and it was...interesting. I was able to get a ticket into the convention, which did a lot to help me enjoy my weekend. And I had a really good time. My friends and I went out Saturday evening and did a little shopping, had a little dinner (where I scored us a couple of free deserts. A big shout out to Jimmy Park.), enjoyed a few drinks at a nice Irish pub, got kicked out of the piano bar we went to after, and ended the evening back at the hotel bar. All in all, a very enjoyable time.

Before I talk about the convention, I feel like I should explain I've never been to a convention for a television show before. I've seen movies and programs about conventions, like the Star Trek conventions and what not, but I've never been to one. At any rate, I expected this Supernatural convention to be something like what I'd seen on TV of other similar gatherings. Yeah, it wasn't like that. First of all, the attendees were largely female. I'm talking, oh, probably 98% of the people present. There where so many women, I had to really wonder why the men who were there, were there. Maybe they were gay. I don't know, and it really doesn't matter, but they had to feel like outsiders. It was seriously wall-to-wall women. On second thought, maybe the few men were there to score chicks. At any rate, this convention was nothing like conventions I've seen on television. There were only about five tables set up with merchandise, and it was all Supernatural stuff, which I guess makes sense, but you'd think they'd have other stuff. Anyway, we had the "cheap" ($50, thank you very much) seats in the very back of the ballroom, so we never got a really good look at the boys because they just looked too small. Now directly behind the guys was a huge screen that I assumed they would use to project the guys on so that the people in the back could see. Wrong. They just showed some fan-made music video, which was actually pretty good, but WTF. I don't pay $50 for anything for myself and I shelled out cold, hard greenback to be in the same room with Sam and Dean Winchester and the convention organizers didn't even have the common sense to project their appearance onto a huge screen that was already there. And forget about trying to get a decent picture. It just wasn't possible from where I sat. So, I decided to sidle along the wall up a little closer to the stage to get a couple of shots. A lot of other people had the same idea and staff eventually made everyone go back to their seats. I understand not letting everyone crowd along the walls for safety reasons, but I think most people were only interested in getting a couple of somewhat decent pictures before sitting back down.

All in all, I'm glad I went. The boys were funny and charming, and I left liking them even more. I can't imagine I'd have had as much grace as they did answering stupid questions like: Um, what's your favorite color? But believe me, I don't ever, ever have to go to something like that again.

What's it all about?

I've been thinking a lot lately about life. It's certainly been prompted somewhat by my uncle's recent suicide, but some things that happened during the course of Dracula (which closed Nov. 2) have got me thinking, too. Added to all this, a woman who was very involved with the theatre and well-loved by many of the other volunteers (I was really only an acquaintance.) passed away recently after having battled cancer for most of the year. She was only 48 and leaves behind a husband and two teenage daughters. At any rate, I find myself thinking a lot about where I've been and where I think I'm going.

For the first time since my daughter was born, I'm starting to feel awake again. Maybe it's because of getting involved with theatre and having that creative outlet. I do know I've started feeling like myself again since I've started up with the acting. Maybe it's because my daughter is getting to an age of more self-sufficiency and I can step back and breathe a bit more and separate myself from her a little. It's probably a combination of those things, really. All I know is that in some ways I feel like I'm standing on a cliff looking over the landscape of my life. Not in a bad way or anything. It's not as if I feel like jumping off the cliff. It's all good. I think I'm at an age where I can see I'm still young enough to experience and accomplish things that I want to, but old enough to know that I better start doing them now because time just goes too quickly and there's no such thing as forever.

One of the things that I'm really determined to do is have more fun. I'm someone who has spent a good portion of my life putting off fun because it didn't seem like the rational or practical thing to do, either because of low funds, or bad timing, or having to get up early, or whatever. I know now I'd rather have the memories. To that end, some friends of mine and I are heading into Chicago tomorrow for a girls weekend. The impetus behind the trip is the Supernatural convention that's being held there. The two stars are appearing on Sunday, so I suggested to that we go in Saturday so that we could go out for the evening and then hit the convention the next day before heading home. However, I foolishly underestimated how many other people would want to see Jared and Jensen and according to the convention website, all general admission tickets are sold out. Rather, they've stopped internet sales and there might be tickets available at the door on a first come, first served basis, but I obviously can't count on being able to get in now. This wouldn't really be a problem in the whole scheme of things if one of our group hadn't had the good sense to order her ticket online some time ago. So she can get in, but I feel bad about her having to go in by herself because what kind of fun is that going to be. So I've contrived to try and figure out where the boys are staying in Chicago so we can accidentally "bump" into them and get a picture.

I've been trying to tap everyone I know in an attempt to orchestrate this encounter. I've got a hotel name, which may or may not be true. I'm about to call up the Chicago Tribune to see if I can get any information out of their entertainment reporter. I'm hoping they'll find the idea of five thirty-something, soccer mom types chasing celebrities through the bars of Chicago amusing enough to throw me a bone. No matter what, I think this hunt adds an extra element of fun to the evening that will hopefully push it into the category of legend. So if you've got any helpful information, please share.

I LOVE the stuff people are willing to put up on the internet.

I think this clip speaks for itself.

Wow, a night at home.

K, so check it. It's Friday night and I'm home because there was no rehearsal tonight. It actually feels weird. I was off last Friday, too, and that felt just as weird. Anyway, I'm sitting here drinking a glass of wine (actually, I'm on my second), and I just got off Facebook. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm pretty much hooked on Facebook, mainly because of Scramble, which is like Boggle. I am soooooo addicted to that game. I can't stop playing it. What's been really cool is that over the last week or so a few of my fraternity brothers (I was a little sister in a fraternity) from college have friended me. Talk about a blast from the past. Seriously, a couple of these guys I've had no contact with in close to 20 years. That's one thing about modern technology that I just love, the ability to just reconnect like that. Anyway, reconnecting with some of these guys has got me reminiscing a lot lately. College was hella fun and that's all there is to it. The shame is that you just don't realize at the time how much fun it's going to be in comparison to the rest of your life. I'm not saying my life now isn't fun, it's just that it's not the same kind of free fun that you have in college when you can just let loose and not really worry too much about what happens after that. What I wonder a lot now when I look back on those days is why I thought I had to have so much of life figured out. I should have let myself have more fun back then, not tempered myself so much. I mean, I had fun, but I didn't have, like, crazy, stuff of legends fun, if you know what I mean. The one thing I know is that the older I get, I feel like I really don't want to miss out on a good time if there's a good time to be had. Maybe it's because I realize there are precious few times you can just forget about life for a couple of hours. I don't know. It's probably one of the reasons why I'm so happy to be back doing theatre again. I can be a completely different person where the rules of my life just don't apply anymore. It's a liberating experience in a lot of ways. It's a socially acceptable way to kind of try on new skins and live someone else's life for a little while, but with the safety and security of being able to go back to my own life. Beyond that, I've just met some really cool people in the last couple of years. People I can't imagine at this point not knowing. If you're not a "theatre" person, you won't understand what I'm talking about, but theatre people are just special. They're the only people, outside of my family, among whom I can be completely idiotic around and it's all taken in stride for what it is--just fun. Most people, I think, are too threatened by people not sticking to the status quo. Theatre people, I think, live for the odd, which is awesome.

Dang, it's been awhile.

I just realized it was the middle of September last time I posted and I can't even say where half a month has gone. It's because I'm doing a play, which always makes time travel at warp speed. In fact, today is the first day in a couple of weeks that I've gotten to just stick around home and I feel like I've been thrown off balance because of it. You know, like when someone presses on the brake when you're not expecting it. I'm a vampire vixen in Dracula, which is turning out to be good fun. I pretty much get my slut on. There are three vixens altogether, and our main job is to sex up Jonathan Harker, which is harder work than one might imagine. But, hey, someone's gotta do the tough jobs.

I told a guy I work with that he should come watch the play, but when I told him what I'm doing in it, he said he doesn't think he'll be able to watch because he'd laugh the entire time. I don't know if I should be offended or not. I mean, seriously, I can do slutty, unholy bride of Dracula. Weirder things have happened.