Screw it, I'm just doing Weight Watchers.

Well, my lemonade cleanse lasted about 12 hours. I did the laxative tea Saturday night, woke up Sunday and did most of my quart of salt water, which was completely gross because it was like swallowing liquid snot, drank a cup of coffee (because I'm not giving up coffee), waited about an hour and then drank my first glass of lemonade. Then I went up to take a shower and while I was in the bathroom, I thought to myself, "I'm going to puke." I lifted the toilet seat and then proceeded to puke out all the contents of my stomach. It was weird because there was no build up, no aching stomach, just the thought that I was going to throw-up and then I did. Anyway, I then had to tell my husband and daughter that I'd just vomitted and then the two of them begged me to pleeeeeeeaase not do this cleanse. It wasn't a hard sell on their part after the puking. So with that failed experiment, I'm going to just go back to Weight Watchers because it works, at least it's the only thing that's ever worked for me. My friend and I decided we'll meet every Saturday to make the week's worth of food so we can just put it in the freezer and not worry about being too rushed during the week to make our food. Meanwhile, I've got an entire gallon of cayenne-spiked lemonade sitting in the fridge. I'll go ahead and finish it because it's actually not too bad despite the pepper. I just won't be using it for the cleanse anymore.

So it's like this...

It's 11:06 pm and I just finished watching a movie on the computer. For some reason I'm burping a lot and it's not pleasant. Mookie is asleep on the floor behind me. Such a good dog. I'm tired but I don't feel sleepy. I've got to go to bed or I'll be really tired tomorrow. You know, I've realized that I have completely lost track of my life. I just had to think for a little bit to figure out what day tomorrow is. I'm going to start this lemonade cleanse/detox thing on Sunday. One problem from the play is that I had to eat on the run a lot, which means I've been doing less than healthy eating for a while now. I feel bloated and disgusting to say the least. I'll do this 10-day thing and then hopefully feel like a spring chicken. I kind of want to use it to jump start a return to healthier things in general. Like right now, I feel like I've got a rock sitting in my stomach. I think it's from the meatball sub I had for lunch. I wish I were rich only so I could hire someone to make all my meals, like how Oprah does. And I'd hire someone to make me exercise everyday. While I'm at it, I'd hire someone to give me facials and foot rubs everyday, too. Yeah, that would be the life.

Blaaaaa.

It has been a SHIT morning. First of all, there's a monsoon raging outside, which sucks. Add to that the fact that my husband forgot to pack our daughter's lunch for school so I had to run to CVS to get something for her to eat after I dropped her off at school. Guess what? CVS doesn't sell Lunchables. However, you can get plenty of sour cream if you're in the need. What kind of crazy mixed-up shit is that? Let's take a quick poll: If you run into CVS, are you more likely to come out with a Lunchables or sour cream? Anyway, I've had to now get in and out of the car a few times, which means I'm wet. So I run across the street to a gas station where they DO have lunchables (hallelujah). I grab that and a cup of coffee and make my way back to my daughter's school. When I get there, I'm pretty wet from all my stops. I take the stuff to her and she says she forgot the confetti she was supposed to bring to school and would I go get it for her and she gives me that stare: the sad, puppy-eyes stare, and for a moment I almost said yes, but I told her I couldn't because I was already going to be late for work as it it. But as I left the school, I stopped in the office and called home hoping my husband was still there so he could drop off the confetti. He didn't answer and I left a message, but he was probably already gone. Off topic, what about cell phones possibly being responsible for all the bees dying? That's some scary stuff. We need the bees. We need the bees more than we need the cell phones.

C'est fini.

It's over. The play is over. We had our last show yesterday afternoon. It's been quite an experience and I am so glad I finally got back to performing. My husband and daughter both told me yesterday that they could tell I had been a lot happier while doing the play. My daughter said, "Mom, it's finally time you did something for yourself." When she says stuff like that, it makes it totally worth it that I didn't drop her off in front of the orphanage when she was first born like I thought about doing. But seriously, I am totally blessed to have a family that supported me, even though it meant I wasn't around so much, especially toward the end. I could tell my daughter, particularly, was starting to miss me a lot when I had rehearsal or performances practically every night. It made me feel guilty, and that's a large part of why I'll probably only do a couple of things a year. Even though she's growing more mature everyday, stuff like this reminds me that she's still just a kid who needs her mom.

It's tough being a superstar.

We just finished our first performance of the week, which is actually performance number four in the run. We found out they're adding at least one additional show to the weekend because tickets have been selling so well. Originally, they told us we'd have an extra two shows during the weekend, but they downsized. I'm not complaining, though. Even though it's a lot of fun, doing that many performances in one weekend would take it out of me. It'll seem weird to have time once we're done. I'm pretty tired right now. I'm just burning a CD before I go to bed, so I figured I do a little post since I don't have much time otherwise to do it. Thank God for Red Bull. That's all I'm going to say.

Different picture, different faces

I tried a different picture on that my heritage thing and got completely different results, well except for one person.

I am pooped.

Well, the opening weekend went pretty well, if I do say so myself. We got a pretty good review in the paper, so that's a good thing. I wasn't feeling the energy so much at yesterday's matinee, but we get two days to rest before we hit the stage on Wednesday. It's been a lot of fun.

You'd think I have better things to do with my time.

Zombies preview

Here are some shots from our dress rehearsal. If you're lucky enough to live in South Bend, come watch. If not, then too bad. You'll be missing out on a truly historic theatrical moment.

Happy birthday to me.

It's my birthday today. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Of course, that means I'll end up dealing with more shit than normal today because no one will know it's my birthday and they won't try to let me have a peaceful day. Good news is my husband and daughter got me the spinning bird feeder so now I can watch the squirrels get tossed around the backyard. Ha, ha. I'm evil.

Jeez

The good news is that I only had to stay at the theatre until 10:30, the bad news is that I feel like I stayed until midnight. My husband is worried that I'm tired all the time, but I know it's because I'm just running around so much lately. I think once the play is over, I should have more energy. Maybe I'll stock up on some Red Bull. Although, I have to say, I can't say I've noticed any significant increase in energy when I've drunk it in the past. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel like, but I don't think I'm getting it. I actually like the taste of Red Bull. I got an email from a high school friend I haven't heard from in years asking if I plan on going to our 20th reunion this summer. I really want to go, but it depends mainly on when they have the reunion because we're going to disneyworld this summer, and if they have it at the same time, I'll miss it. I can't believe it's been 20 years since I graduated high school. It still seems like yesterday. K, I've got to go drop a deuce. Talk to you later.

Back too soon.

I was on vacation last week because of my daughter's spring break, and now it's back to reality as usual, which sucks. Tonight we have the tech run-through for the play and they've told us to expect to be there until midnight, which means I'm taking a nap as soon as I get home. The play opens Friday and I'm pretty excited. But I have to say I'll be glad when it's over so I can get some time back. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep it to two plays a year just because the time commitment is so intense. My parents are coming to watch, which is a pleasant surprise for me. My brother said he was coming (but he's not), and I wasn't really anticipating my parents making the trip, but it turned out the other way around. Somehow, I'll have to try and figure out a way to clean the house before they get here.

Another IM conversation with my brother, or People are Gross

Me My Brother

OMG

what

two gross bathroom things
today

what

first
I'm in the bathroom and some guy is taking a dump
and I hear him unwrap something and start eating
while he's crapping!

lol

and he's not even trying to hide it!
he's like going umm umm umm umm while chewing

ha, ha
could you tell what he was eating

honestly I would guess a sandwich or something like that

so what's the second thing

so. . .I just went in the bathroom to go pee
and the cleaning lady opens the door and says hello!

while your in the bathroom?

I say yeah someone is in here

like it's not big thing

but she still comes in anyways!

ha, ha
was she embarrassed that you were in there

so I hurry up and ask why did you even ask if anyone was in here
she doesn't say a thing
and I walked out
thats the third time that has happened

that she's walked in on you

a cleaning lady yeah
so I'm calling the management company to complain
I've had enough

yeah, what if it were a man walking into the lady's room, people wouldn't put up with that
Although I wouldn't call that second thing gross as much as I would call in stupid

yeah

My husband thinks I'm an unwarranted bitch.

My feelings are a little hurt because my husband thinks I'm a bitch when it's not necessarily warranted. I take my bitching duties very seriously and wouldn't be a bitch to someone who didn't deserve it. Anyway, I was telling him how a couple of people associated with the play were pissing me off and so I responded in kind. He told he thinks I relish the bitch role too much sometimes and maybe I'm the one at fault. OK, I have no problem fixing a problem if I'm the source, and if people told me to fix a problem in an appropriately respectful way, there's no problem. But when people try to be snotty about it and lord some kind of imaginary authority over me, that's when I flip the bitch switch. I guess I'm hurt that after 12 years of marriage, he actually thought it was anything but that.

Ugh.

I just ate too many Cadbury mini easter eggs. The milk chocolate eggs with a crunchy candy coating. They're so good and now my stomach hurts. That wasn't good decision making on my part. So, we've started learning the dances for the musical and I was getting a little pissed with one of the choreographers last night because he kept making us do this thing over and over without a break and telling us to always be aware of formation. I was like, man, you just taught us this stupid thing. Why don't you let actually learn it before we start worrying about formation? It would be nice if we actually got what we were doing down before we start fine tuning, which only makes sense to me, but I'm not a choreographer, so what do I know? I'm enjoying myself, but I find it frustrating to be criticized by choreographers and musicals directors who don't even have the shit completely together for themselves.

Am I twisted?

Is it cruel that I want to buy this so I can watch squirrels get tossed around like so many sacks of feed? They sell something like this at a local farmer's market and I totally want to buy it so I can hang from the tree that's in the back of my house so I can watch the squirrels get messed up while I'm doing dishes. I laugh every time I see it.

Random IM conversation between me and my brother

Him: Man am I hungry
we don't have anything to eat!

Me: go eat lunch then
are you at home

Him: our cupboards are bare

Me: eat some cereal

Him: no thanks

Me: what's wrong with cereal

Him: I had cereal already today

Me: so
that's the beauty of cereal, you can have it more than once

you can't eat the same thing twice today

yes you can

no you can't

yes you can
I often eat cereal for breakfast and dinner

then you aren't get bio divergent nutrients

Well, I eat high quality cereal

then you are nutritionally deficient

no I'm not

yes you are

no I'm not

yup!

no

if you eat the same thing twice a day you are

no I'm not
I eat different cereals

from breakfast and dinner
or from day to day?

both

what about the beta ceretine or protein.
or iron

I get that from lunch
I try to eat veggie loaded lunches

still not good enough

yes it is

need to eat different stuff
for sure

I do eat different stuff, it's not like I eat cereal for breakfast and dinner all the time

now you change the answer!
LOL

No I didn't
I said I often have it for breakfast and dinner, not I always have it for breakfast and dinner.

then you are often nutritionally deficient but not all days

I am always perfectly balanced, just like one of the dog whisperer's dogs

Why, why, why?

My brother and sister-in-law are leaving today for an 8-day vacation in Europe. I'm really, really happy for them. Actually, I'm green with envy, but the boy says he will bring back chocolate, so I guess I'll wish them a good time. Might have a ghost hunt lined up. Apparently, there are a couple of spirits in the theatre where we're performing Zombies, so you know I am all over that bitch. Maybe I'll actually see something this time.

This stinks.

OK, I'm home by myself right now, except for the dog, and there's absolutely nothing on television that I'd like to watch. Do you know how often I get the opportunity to watch whatever I want? Not often. And I can't even enjoy it this time. I don't have rehearsal tonight, so it's a nice little break. I should actually work on my lines, as I haven't really done that yet. My dog has an ear infection. As you can tell, I've got a lot of exciting stuff going on in my life right now. Here's a picture of my dog. Isn't she cute?



Now she's walking around sniffing this bench where we keep her freeze dried cow lung, which is like doggie crack or something because she can't get enough of it. I only let her have a little every day, though, because too much of a good thing usually kills you.

So Britney Spears, mmm,mmm, mmm. Is that girl a hot mess or what? I feel bad for her kids. Someone needs to give her a good slap to the face and tell her to get the fuck over herself already and realize she's got kids to raise and that she's got a lot less problems than most people. I don't know if I can live in a world where K-Fed comes out looking like the better parent. It's just not something that my mind can comprehend and trying to is pushing the grey matter to critical mass. That's all I've got to say about that.

That was a very good movie

I just finished watching Stranger than Fiction with Will Ferrel and Emma Thompson and it was a really good movie. Not that I wasn't expecting it not to be because, hey, I did order it from Netflix and it's not like I wanted it to suck or anything, but I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did. So if you haven't already, go watch it. That is a command.