Interview #2

OK, today I've got my sister here to chat a bit. This should be a very interesting time since my sister is a snarky enough to be entertaining. So let's get started:

KC: What would you say is the most important thing to have happened to you in your life?

ACH:I think the most important thing to happen to me in my life, at this point anyway, is becoming a mother. But i think that it's tied with getting married.

KC: I see, and why would that be the case?

ACH: because it turned me from a person that thinks mostly about myself into someone that rarely thinks about myself....i am a much more selfless person, because of those to events. two events, that is.

KC: That's very interesting. Now, what is so funny to you that it makes milk come out of your nose if you laugh, while drinking milk, of course?

ACH: i do not believe that this has occoured to me in the past 20 years or so, so i cannot answer this question.

KC: Alright then, what is so funny it makes you pee your pants? And I know that only happened last night, so give it up.

ACH: the last thing that made me piss myself, while laughing was when [my son] recited the entire Blamange episode of Monty Python after only seeing it once.

KC: And would you say that was a full-on pissed your pants or just a little trickle that you were able to stop with your Kegels?

ACH: kegel stopper.

KC: So sorry to hear that, we were looking for a full-on piss your pants. At any rate, what would you say is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?

ACH: printing a story on an internet message board

KC: What story would that be?

ACH: btw, my kegels are well developed, so i'm pretty good at stopping pissing myself. i take the fifth.

KC: What do you mean you take the fifth? I'm your sister, there is no fifth. At least give me a little clue as to what the story was about.

ACH: it was about meeting a famous person, and that is all that i will say.

KC: Would that famous person be Simon LeBon of the 80's mega-group Duran Duran?

ACH: no, but i will be meeting him, soon....as soon as they get their asses back over hear from Europe. Steve and I were going to go and see them, but every date they were playing here, we were already going somewhere else. and i could give a shit about simon le bon....it's all about john taylor.

KC: Ah yes, how could I forget the way you dyed the front of your bangs blonde in a vain attempt to recreate yourself in the image of your much adored John Taylor....So, what's the best date you've ever been on?

ACH: jc, i can't spell

KC: Well, OK, but what about the date?

ACH: when stephen and i went to san francisco the first time

KC: Oh, that sounds so sweet. Why don't you tell our viewing audience a little more about that weekend.

ACH: he went to take his written board exam, and i was on spring break, so i flew out the day of this last exam. Needless to say, I was very nervous, so I downed about 10 screwdrivers between SLC and SF, which is only about a 45 min. flight, so I had to piss so bad that I raced to the lavatory as soon as the plane landed. I was in there for about 15 minutes, so poor Steve was standing at the gate thinking that I had changed my mind, so, when I finally came of the plane, he had a very big smile on his face. We spent two days going all around SF, and, believe it or not, we never had intercourse on that trip....he was a true gentleman.

KC: I'm sure we all appreciate your "truthful" retelling of your bedroom activities.

ACH:it IS true

ACH: btw, who is the "viewing audience? it better just be you and [your daughter] or I'm gonna kick your ass Bruce Lee style.

ACH: We were like Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski, I did not say that there were not other things that occured, but we did not have intercourse.

KC: Oh, and to answer your question, anyone who happens to stubmle across my blog has access to this enlightening interview.

ACH: oh, this is on your blog? why? what is the purpose of this little interview?

KC: This is my substitute to having my cable access interview show. So I'm going to interview friends and family on my blog.

ACH: what? are you telling me that you have a public access interview show? and, if so, why would anyone want to know anything about me?

KC: No, I don't have a cable access show, but have always wanted to have one. Since I don't, this is how I'm going to go about interviewing people I'm intertested in interviewing. See?

ACH: you know everything about me, so why do you want to interview me?

KC: Because I don't specifically ask you interview-type questions, so this is a way to learn even more about you while sharing the fruits of my efforts with the larger viewing public.

ACH: pure genious.ok, anymore questions for your illiterate sister?

KC: I'm afraid not. I have to go pick up [my daughter]. So this is me signing off for today. I hope you join me next time when my guest will be....I don't know.

ACH: hukd on fonix werks fer mi.

KC: Bye.

I think I've definitely got something here with an interview format. I want to have a cable access show where I just sit and interview my friends or various other people I know because I'm pretty sure other people in TV land would enjoy the conversations I have with people just as much as I do. Now, I just have to figure out who is the next victim to undergo my public scrutiny of their mind and life.

Interview #1

I have a guest with me today. Her name is Angela and she's sick with a cold, just like everyone else in this God-forsaken town. So let's begin:

KC: How does it feel to be sick right now?

AH: (Mumbles and puts head on desk)

KC: I see. What are you planning on doing while in NYC?

AH: Spending time with friends, finding true love, losing true love, getting over my cold, hopefully. Actually, eating Korean food, too.

KC: Sounds like a busy schedule. How would you bring about world peace?

AH: I would say start with interfamily conflicts first, before you get ahead of yourself.

KC: So you're saying solve problems within the family and that will spread peace and love to the rest of the population?

AH: Well, it's a start.

KC: I see, interesting perspective. So, what do you think of the current political primaries going on?

AH: I hope the vote isn't splilt among the Democrats and other third parties. As long as we get a Democrat in office, it should be OK. It goes back to the whole family thing, we have to solve the immediate clan problems before trying to deal with bigger problems.

KC: I am going to take this opportunity to state the opinions of the interviewee are not necessarily shared by the management. So, which actor are you hot for right now?

AH: Adam Brody.

KC: Who's he?

AH: He plays Seth the Jew on the OC. He's a lisping sarcastic Jew, my favorite.

KC: Hmm, that sounds interesting. If you had to, which sense you give up?

AH: Smell.

KC: Why?

AH: Most of my pleasures in life come from visual aesthetics, touch, music, but smell isn't that important. It's only important for me for food, but even when I have a cold, food is still OK.

KC: Well, Angela has left the building to go get some grub, so I guess I'll just do the talking for now. Today's been a normal kind of day. The kind of day that blends into the next and you don't even realize you lived it because it was so unnoteworthy. I do plan on going to a reading tonight at a local coffee shop, so that's something out of the ordinary. Although, it starts at 7:30 and that's when my motor starts to wind down. And if I drink coffee while I'm there, I won't be able to go to sleep when I get home. It's a no-win situation when you think about it. When I was little, I used to wonder why my parents always fell asleep on the couch so early in the evening and now I know. I know the sad truth of being so drained from the day that you don't even try to stay up to watch all those interesting late shows you wished you could watch when you were a kid.

ps I know I used one instead of won. I think I have some weird learning disability where I use the wrong word that sounds the same as the correct word.

I agree I think Bill Murray should have won that oscar for lost in translation. However, on a different note I am quite pleased that Lord of the Rings Return of the King sweeped the oscars. because a "nerd's" movie beat out all that hoity toity "drama" crap. I think seabiscuit should have one at least one oscar as well I thought it was a smashing film. Well I'm going to be in Italy in april for 7 days I'm quite excited because my girlfriends buddy is getting married there to some sort of an arab oil sheak or something like that from the UAE. He has rented a villa in cianciano for all the guests to stay in for free! Christina will be going to flourence, rome, and pisa as well. So that should be pretty awesome. In addition I will be moving back to VA at the end of this month which is quite awesome for me! I'm super glad I'll now be able to kick it with my people's and be near my family and girlfriend.

I would like to move to Austin, TX in a couple years I absolutely fell in love with that town! It is soooo bad ass!!!! its my dream!

Remember everyone!

Up with hope
Down with dope!

So, I'm sitting here eating my Weight Watchers Smart Ones Fiesta Chicken. Try to say that in one breath. Yeah, it's OK, but only OK. Actually, most of the Smart Ones meals are fairly decent, but this Fiesta Chicken doesn't have enough salt. It's a little on the bland side. It still cracks me up that I can actually clog cyber-space with this sort of mindless drivel and no one really cares. Just seems like a waste of resources to me, but, hey, if it gives me another outlet for mouthing off, all the better. Depeche Mode is playing. Filming and dreaming, dreaming of meeeeeee, yeah.

Yesterday I went to the American Idol site to find out about this William Huang that everyone is talking about and I don't understand why people say he can't sing. I mean, yeah, he looks a little bit dorky while he is singing, but his voice isn't that bad. It sounds like he can carry a tune, at least. This entire American Idol thing seems weird to me anyway. I've only watched a couple of episodes, just to see why people were so crazy about it and it doesn't seem all that incredible to me. I've only seen the audition segments on commercials, but I don't understand why people who absolutely cannot sing to save their lives go on this show when they know that Simon guy is going to insult them. You know, it was one thing when the show first started and people probably didn't know, but now everyone knows. And the ones who can't sing still seem shocked and hurt when he yells at them.

In general, though, I don't understand why he feels like he has to humiliate people in the first place. It takes courage to get up and perform in front of people, especially when you know the chances of being ridiculed are fairly high.

OK, here's another thing I want to know about.... What's the deal with Sean Penn at the Oscars and his comment about what actors know besides the fact that there were no WMDs? Yeah, when I think of someone who's really informed about world affairs, he's not exactly the first person who pops into my mind. And all that stuff at the beginning of the war when he said he would go be a human shield, so why didn't he? Because, of course, his past behavior has shown how much he cares about his fellow man, like when he's beating up photographers. Not that I'm defending paparazzi, because them do seem like a sleazy sort, but he doesn't exactly have a history of living a peace-loving sort of life. So Sean Penn, I say to you, shut up. Just because you're famous doesn't mean anything that comes out of your mouth is worth listening too. Cyberspace-clogging people like me are the only ones with anything intelligent to say. :-) And with that, I'm signing off for the day.

I can't shake this cold. It just hangs around like a bad stalker. I definitely need stronger coffee in the morning. I used to get Starbucks at the little cafeteria by my building, but they got a new machine and the coffee's not as strong as it used to be. You can see right through it, which is not a good thing. It's got to be blacker than black to be any good. It shouldn't pour, it should sorta glop into the cup. Then you know it's good stuff.

I don't understand why you have to re-post just to see the changes that have been made to the template. I'm being forced to write stuff that doesn't really mean anything.

Hello, hello. I really wonder if anyone besides my brother sees anything I write here.

Let's see how this looks.

I'm looking at some of these other posts on other people's blogs and, I'm sorry, there are some really, really disturbed minds out there.

OK, so what was I saying. Yeah, well so there's this boy in my daughter's class who she's friends with and she thinks he doesn't like her anymore because when she tries to go up to him, apparently he runs away. She's really bummed about it, but I just don't know what to tell her because in the end, she has to either be satisfied with playing with someone else or ask him why he isn't treating her so well. Neither one of these options seems appealing to her. She's really sensitive when it comes to thinking someone might not like her. I tell her that it's their loss, but I don't think she gets it. I feel bad for her, but I want her to figure this one out on her own because it won't be the last time in her life she has to deal with issues like this. Boys will always be stupid.

K, I'm on Dayquill. Is that how it's spelled? I am kind of wigging out right now. I'm really tired and sorta spacing. Last night, when I was on the Ny-quill (I know that's not spelled right) everything seemed really slow. That's the best thing about it. Everything sort of feels like it's happening in a dream, but it's not. I remember my husband telling me he was going to watch TV and then I remember him telling me he just finished watching True Lies, but there was no time between those two announcements. Led Zepplin is playing right now. My eyes are closed as I'm typing this. I have this problem with my daugter because she is concerned that the boy she considers her best friend at school doesn't like her anymore. I don't really know what to tell her to make her feel better, because, you know, boys are stupid. Of course, this one is only six, but she's not really getting that thing with boys where they don't want to play with girls because it's not cool or whatever. Anyway, she's confused because she really does think of him as her best friend and she's not really interested in just playing with someone else. I give her suggestions, but in...OK, gotta go, work calls.

Yes I am back again, guest blogger on my sister's site. I leave she wanted to see how long it would take for me to notice her little counter strike on my blog. I must say it would have been much more effective if she hadn't TOLD me that she launched a counter strike on my blog then inducing me to go check mine out and notice her post. On a different note. I think I'm going to be recreating in the fine city of AUSTIN, TX tomorrow! where the weather is supposed to be in the seventies! thats right I'm going to be sitting at a cafe listening to live music. sipping on a bit of shiner bock beer, and eating a bit of tex mex gold! while my sister will still be freezing her boogers off in Indiana. But alas, I will bow my head and poor a bit of my beer out for my homey that passed.

This is just a little test because I don't know if anything is working on this thing, and I'm getting just a little ANGRY.

I HATE Indiana!!! It's freaking 597 degrees below zero. Or something like that, anyway. This states SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS. I've got frost covering the interior window frames in my office. I'm literally working inside something that strongly resembles a freezer. At least the sunshine is finally out. But it's cold. The kind of cold that makes the snot freeze into little booger pellets inside your nose. It doesn't even get the chance to run out. It just freezes right where it it.

So its is now January 27th of our new year 2004! My sister has gotten a little slack in her duties to the oh great blog she has here. So I thought I'd contribute something for her. P.S. My george foreman grill is the bomb. I really like it a lot. I cook chicken breasts with it every night. it really does the trick! good for making reubens too. in case you were wondering. But I digress. So I am waiting to be transfered to VA to take on my new job working in RESTON. I hate it here. because they are all a bunch of lamo un motivated stupid people who waste my time and my energy with completely unecessary minutae! It drives me crazy I want to strangle people sometimes. Anyways enough with the rant. I'll see how long it takes for my sister to read this I'd be interested to find out.

I just spent a great weekend in Chicago with my buddy Ann. All I can say is that it was goooood and that's enough.

We will steal the women and rape the horses!!!!
The files are inside the computer?
Your my boy blue!
yes I'm serious and don't call me shirley
PC load letter!
PC load letter!!!!


a couple choice quotes from some awesome movies.

try to figure out what movies

I'm bored, bored, bored, bored. This is the part they don't tell you about when you're a kid. They don't tell you that sometimes you just sit in your office looking off into space because there's really nothing more interesting to do. Sometimes I wish I could just chuck everything and run through the streets like a child of the night. I always remember getting drunk fondly, but whenever I actually do it anymore, I'm really hating life. Why do we have to grow up? Whine, whine, whine.