I think South Bend has a serial murderer.

Something like the fifth or sixth dead woman has turned up in South Bend under mysterious circumstances. Here's the story.

Woman found dead in South Bend park

NANCY J. SULOK
Tribune Staff Writer

SOUTH BEND -- A pregnant 35-year-old woman found killed in a city park had been strangled, a coroner said.

Melissa Marie Shields' body was discovered just before midnight Wednesday in Ravina Park on the city's southeast side.

Deputy coroner Charles Hurley said after an autopsy Thursday afternoon that he is unsure whether a weapon was used in the crime.

Rhonda Riley of Mishawaka, Shields' mother, said Shields was seven months pregnant with a baby boy. She said Shields had three teenage children: a son and daughter who live with Riley and another son who lives with a different relative.

They had not seen Shields recently, a distraught Riley said Thursday, because of Shields' involvement with illegal drugs and other criminal behavior.

Although Shields' latest arrest records listed Riley's Mishawaka address as hers, Riley said her daughter had been living on Indiana Avenue in South Bend. Riley said she didn't approve of the man with whom Shields was living, and that is partly why she had grown estranged from her daughter.

Riley said she had never heard any reports that the boyfriend, whose full name she did not know, had ever abused Shields.

"He might have cheated on her," Riley said, "but he never hit her, that I know of."

Riley was upset and crying at the news of her daughter's death and said Shields' children are taking it hard. They are uncertain how they are going to pay for funeral expenses, she said.

Police released few details about the case Thursday.

Although Riley said she was told that her daughter was nude when found, authorities would not confirm that.

Hurley said the victim's body had been identified initially by officers who knew her. She had a lengthy arrest record, including arrests for prostitution.

Shields has been a frequent occupant of the county jail, with 70 arrests going back to 1990.

South Bend police arrested her most recently on Aug. 16 in the 2900 block of South Michigan Street. She was charged in that case with theft, possession of cocaine, possession of paraphernalia, and two counts of auto theft.

Court records indicate a man had picked her up on Indiana Avenue and took her to his trailer in Mishawaka. At some point, he told police, he realized Shields had left, taking his car. He also reported that $5,400 was missing from his trailer.

Police arrested her about an hour later after seeing her park the car at a grocery on Michigan Street. She told them she had permission to use the car and that the Mishawaka man had given her money to buy narcotics. Police found drugs and drug paraphernalia in the car.

Shields was free on $1,000 bond at the time of her death.

Past arrests included drug offenses, prostitution, criminal trespass, driving without a license, criminal conversion, carjacking and failure to use a seat belt.

According to Indiana Department of Correction records, Shields also has served three sentences in state prison, for auto theft, receiving stolen auto parts, carrying a handgun without a license, and possession of cocaine.

Neighbors were clearly disturbed by the homicide, which happened in Ravina Park, a small park in the 900 block of East Indiana Avenue, along the bank of Bowman Creek.

"This freaks me out," said Sara Lenardson, who lives across the street from the park. She said she has lived on Indiana Avenue for about a year and has never had any serious problems.

Jimmy Scales, who has lived for 40 years along the east side of the park, said the 900 and 1000 blocks of Indiana Avenue are fairly stable, with longtime residents.

He described the occupants further west as transients who move in and out of the neighborhood with frequency. A lot of people just wander the streets all day, he said.

Ravina Park has a curfew, he said, "but people are out here at 3 in the morning. What good is a curfew if they don't enforce it?"

The small neighborhood park has only a few pieces of playground equipment, including a swingset, sliding board and monkey bars. The victim's body was found under the monkey bars.

Police went to the park late Wednesday in response to reports of a woman screaming.

Scales said screaming is not unusual in the park, "but it's play screaming," kids making noise as they have fun.

He said police have done a good job of cleaning up the southeast side, particularly in getting rid of the Dawg Life gang.

"It really worked," he said, "and I was glad to see it."

In addition to this murder, several other women have been found dead since the beginning of the year. The body of one was discovered in an alley. Another woman was found dead in a garage. Several women have been pulled from the St. Joe river. And the killer or killers have not been found. It's all pretty fishy to me. And I know it's starting to freak me out a bit. I definitely think it's a serial killer.

Sing it from the mountain top.

I cannot take credit for this little gem. My friend Beth posted it on her blog, and it's just so touching, I had to share it with all of you. Don't be afraid to let the spirit move you.

Podcast, episode 20

The girls and I talk about several different things. It's pretty interesting. I'd listen if I were you.


powered by ODEO

Woo Hoo

So my Nittany Lions won this weekend, which is good because I would have been very upset if I drove eight hours to watch a game where they lost. Needless to say, I am pleased with the outcome. The only thing I wish is that I would have had time to actually go around town some. We only ended up being able to do the tailgating thing and then a quick trip to the bookstore. But I'll take what I can get. And it always makes me happy to see Charlie Weis lose a game because a rat bastard like him doesn't deserve to win. And he really is a rat bastard, if the rat were mutantly large due to radioactive exposure. Anyway, we just got home a couple of hours ago and I'm really not sleepy because I slept a lot during the drive home. But I do feel fatigued, which is weird. The one good thing about being home is that I can eat my normal food. I ate so much junk between traveling and tailgating that I feel pretty bloated and bogged down.

My daughter took me on a spin in a golf cart she learned to drive over the weekend. It was fine except she hasn't quite mastered stopping a golf cart as much as moving one. I'm pretty sure we squealed out when she finally put on the brakes and we were driving on grass, so in some ways it's pretty impressive, too.

I cannot sleep.

I'm awake because I can't sleep. I want to sleep, I just can't. Anyway, I figured I'd do a post and maybe that will do the trick. So what's been going on lately? Hmmm, well, the most interesting thing filling my days lately is trying to shill stuff for my daughter's school. Every year they make the kids (read parents) sell wrapping paper as a fundraiser. It's pretty good wrapping paper, but it's not really an item most people are busting through the doors to buy. The particular company they sell through is called Innisbrook, which apparently only exists to haunt every parent of a school-aged child. I hate selling stuff because no one wants to be bothered with this. I have to say, though, that you can purchase items online which makes the selling a lot easier for me. I just have to send out an email with a link and let people buy if they want. I think that works out well all the way around because then friends and family don't have to tell me no to my face. I think it relieves a lot of stress for everyone.

Next weekend we will be traveling to good old State College to watch the ND/Penn State game. I'm pretty stoked because vengeance will be ours. ND lost today and Penn State won which bodes well for my Nittany Lions. It's been a few years since we've been to State College, so it would be fun even if we didn't have the entire football thing going on. I guess the only really bad part of the entire trip is that we will miss the Popcorn Festival held in Valparaiso, IN, birthplace of Orville Reddenbacher. Damn. Ah, screw it, sticky buns beat popcorn any day of the week. I don't have anything to complain about.

What my Facebook horoscope told me today.

Beware of your unstable humor which may complicate your relationships.

My dog is sick

I had to take my dog to the emergency vet over the weekend because she was crying out in pain when one of us tried to pick her up or a couple of times when she tried to urinate. She was shaking, too, and you could just tell she was not happy. So I took her in and it turns out she has a UTI, which I think is kind of weird in dogs, but she's been dominating her stuffed sheep pretty determinately lately. So, I don't know. Maybe that has something to do with it. Anyway, when they took her in for examination, she started screaming and crying like they were pulling her claws out with pliers. It turns out they had to get a urine sample by inserting a syringe into her bladder and when they were pulling out the needle, she jerked and injured herself. Then she wouldn't let anyone apply pressure to staunch the bleeding and now she's got a pretty impressive bruise on her stomach. So they sent me home with antibiotics and pain killers. This is what she looks like on the pain killers.
Yeah, I wish I had me some of that.

Something I did while in Utah for my reunion.

While in Utah, we passed this new entertainment complex they're building in Ogden that houses an iFly place which basically allows a person to simulate skydiving. However, instead of falling, you're actually flying in a vertical wind tunnel.

Here's a picture of me in the wind tunnel. To watch a video (not of me) that shows you what happens while in the wind tunnel, just click on the picture. The guy in there with me is the instructor who basically keeps you from hurting yourself.



To say it was fun is an understatement. I basically laughed like a fool the entire time I was in there. According to the people who work at this place, there are only 12 of these wind tunnels in the world. I'm assuming they mean vertical wind tunnels open to public use. I was only there for the one-time go, but I think people who live nearby can purchase packages that allow them to come back multiple times and learn how to do tricks and stuff like that.

My friend and her three daughters also took flight and they pretty much agreed it's about as awesome an experience as a person can have.

Story from reunion, although not about reunion.

I will talk about the reunion one day. I promise. Until then, let me tell you a story I heard while at the reunion. One of my former classmates is a doctor. I think she has probably spent most of her time serving disenfranchised communities. She told us that during her residency she worked some time in Appalachia where she had a woman come in with a very interesting complaint. According to my classmate, the woman came in and said. "I got vines growin' down there."

Being perplexed, my friend asked, "What?"

"I got vines down there."

Still confused about what this woman could be suffering from, my friend performs an examination and finds that, indeed, the woman does have vines growing down there. It turns out the woman had inserted a piece of potato (possibly for contraceptive purposes) into her vagina and then forgot about it, giving it time to sprout. According to my friend the "vines" had gotten to a length where they were hanging out of the woman's underpants. When I asked what the potato looked like when she removed it, my friend said, "Exactly what you think it would look like." EWWW!

Now, I ask you, even if you had inserted a piece of potato up your cooch and forgotten about it, wouldn't you remember when you looked down to see something worthy of a 4-H ribbon growing out of there? I think I would.

Here's a picture of a rotten potato, just in case you were wondering what one would look like.

Mmm, mmm, mmm. We're having au gratin tonight.

My personality DNA

I am going to talk about my reunion when I have more time.

Does your name fit you?

This seems like fun.

Check the letters of your name and what they mean... Does your name fit you?

K: crazy
A: Hot
T: smile to die for
H: cute
L: very good kisser
E: has gorgeous eyes
E: has gorgeous eyes
N: easy to fall in love with

I would have to say, yes, I am crazy hot and I do have two gorgeous eyes.



A: Hot
B: Amazing kisser
C: good kisser
D: can kick ur butt
E: has gorgeous eyes
F: lowild and crazy adore you
G: very outgoing
H: cute
I: loves to laugh and smile
J: is really sweet
K: crazy
L: very good kisser
M:Makes dating fun
N: easy to fall in love with
O: has one of the best personalities ever
P: popular with all types of people
Q: a hypocrite
R: is a good person to be with
S: makes people laugh
T: smile to die for
U: is very sexual
V: not judgmental
W: very broad minded
X: never let people tell you what to do
Y: smile to die for
Z: can be funny and dumb at times

Now you guys give it a try.

What to say?

I'm sitting painting my toenails because I leave for my 20th high school reunion tomorrow. I'm painting them "rapid ruby." In some ways, I feel like I want to talk about going to the reunion, and in other ways, I really don't. Which I think makes sense because it probably reflects both the excitement and apprehension I feel about going. Excitement because I can't wait to see friends I haven't seen in a long time and apprehensive because I don't want to be bored playing nice to people I never liked. I know, I'm a bitch. My daughter starts school tomorrow and I'm actually more consumed with that right now than I am with reunion stuff. Let me show you the ravages of twenty years. This is me in high school.

And this is me now.

See how skinny I used to be? The bummer is that I didn't think I was skinny back then. I've pretty much always considered myself to be a little on the chunky side. But when I look at pictures of myself in high school and college, well anything before I had my daughter, I realize I wasn't fat at all. Why can't we appreciate the good things when we've got them? So, anyway, I've been doing all this "reflecting" on my life and whether or not I've spent my life well. When I look back so far, there are definitely things I'd do differently. I'd definitely have traveled more before having my daughter. The simple fact is you just can't pick up and take off any old time when you've got kids. Everything is about their school schedules and social lives. I also wish I would have taken better advantage of the opportunities that are available in college, like study abroad programs and stuff like that.

The end of summer is upon us.

Well, I think the family has officially had its last summer outing for the year. Friends invited us up to a lake cottage that they had been given use of, and we just got back. It was a pretty good time. The kids and menfolk went fishing and swimming, and my friend and I stayed at the house and read without anyone bothering us. We just sat on the deck and thought about nothing, which is about as good as it gets at this point in life. Did I mention we made smores? Because that's the most important part about spending a weekend at a lake house. It's kind of like the law, you know. What was interesting about this particular house, though, was that anything that was supposed to cook food didn't work so well. I started to grill steaks on the gas grill they had up there, but that didn't work so well, so I had to build a fire in the charcoal grill. Luckily, I had brought up charcoal, but getting the grills in and out of that thing was hard and I ended up burning my forearm with a red hot poker I was using to try and get the grill in place. Yeah, it sizzled when it hit my skin, but did surprisingly little damage to my arm; although, the skin does look a bit charred. Not just burned, but charred. So I guess that's kind of gross. So I finally got the meal cooked. Then this morning, my friends was trying to fry potatoes in this electric skillet they had in the house, but that thing didn't work for shit, either. I basically think the people who own the house decide that when something stops working so well, they just take it up to the lake house. Also, there was no air conditioning, which I don't understand. I don't know why anyone living in modern times would deny themselves the pleasure of air conditioning. There's no reason for them to not have a couple of window units or even a portable air conditioner, so it was hot and muggy to say the least. My friend and I pretty much spent the entire weekend drenched in our own sweat. So I guess that's kind of gross. But all in all, it was an incredibly pleasant weekend and thoroughly enjoyable.

Copying a meme because I lack originality

From Dantallion's Can[n]on.

Step 1: Put your iPod or iTunes on random.
Step 2: Post the first line(s) from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly. I will cross out the correct guesses as I go.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING - for which you SHALL be punished…

NOTE: Apparently, I can't do strikeout on Blogger, so I'm just coloring guessed answers red. Because red means stop. Like a stop light. Which means don't go. Anyway, you get it.

1. Toot, toot. Hey. Beep, beep. Toot, toot. Hey. Beep, Beep.

2. Ooooh, oh, oh, oh. You run, run, run away. It's your heart that you betray.

3. You know, I was, I was wondering, you know, if you could keep on because the force it's got a lot of power, it make me feel like...ooooh. Lovely, is the feeling now.

4. Right about now, the funk soul brother. Check it out now, the funk soul brother.

5. Pack it up, pack it in. Let me begin. I came to win. Battle me that's a sin.

6. Unos, dos, tres, catorce. Turn it up loud, captain. Lights go down. It's dark. The jungle is your head.

7. She works hard for the moeny, so hard for it honey. She works hard for the money, so you better treat her right.

Donna Summer, "She Works Hard for the Money." Guessed by Jess.

8. We are young, heartache to heartache we stand. No promises, no demands. Love is a battlefield.

Pat Benatar, "Love is a Battlefield." Guessed by Jess and J-Mo.

9. I see them every night in tight blue jeans in the pages of a blue boy magazine. Hey, I've been thinking about a new sensation.

Cindy Lauper, "She Bop." Guessed by Jess.

10. I've been waiting for so long to come here now and sing this song. Oh. Don't be fooled by what you see. Don't be fooled by what you hear.

11. Take it back. Take it back. Oh, oh, oh. Everybody look at me, me. I walk in the door you start screaming. Come on everybody whatcha here for?

12. Once I had a love and it was a gas. Soon turned out had a heart of glass. Seemed like the real thing, only to find Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind.

Blondie, "Heart of Glass." Guessed by J-Mo.

13. Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

14. La, la, la, la... I just can't get you out of my head. Boy your loving is all I think about.

15. Working Monday through Friday takes up all of my time. If I can get to the weekend, everything will work out just fine.

16. I'm bringing sexy back. Them other boys don't know how to act. I think you're special. What's behind your back?

Justin Timberlake, "Sexyback." Guessed by Jess and J-Mo.

17. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. Mata ah-oo hima de. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Himitsu wo shiri tai.

Styx, "Mr. Roboto." Guessed by Jess.

18. At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.

Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive." Guessed by Jess.

19. Only came outside to watch the night fall with the rain. I heard you making patterns rhyme like some new romantic looking for the TV sound. You'll see I'm right some other time.

20. Woo, gave you my money, I gave you my time. Why you wanna hurt me, girl? Are you serious? I'm just curious, why you wanna hurt me girl?

Wow! That just took way more time than I would have thought. I feel I should clarify that the only music I have on my iPod is workout music, so don't necessarily judge my musical tastes by the songs here. Don't get me wrong, I like them all, but my tastes are much broader that what they would seem from this selection.

Me as a Simpson

Don't I look cute? By the way, I bought four pairs of shoes yesterday. It's all about the baby steps.

And this is my husband

And my brother.


And my daughter. Yes, I have too much time on my hands.

Now Simpsonize yourself.

Shoes

I've been finding myself unusually obsessed with shoes lately. I like shoes, but I don't have nearly as many shoes as I'd like to have. Mainly because I'm not rich and if I bought as many shoes as I wanted, I'd be sucking on ice cubes and eating sunflower seeds for my meals. This might not be so bad because then I wouldn't have to do Weight Watchers. However, I do have a family I need to feed, so that means no shoes. Anyway, I've been wanting to buy shoes a lot lately because of my reunion. I don't know why. You'd think if I wanted to buy anything, I'd want to get one of those body-shaping lycra things that will make me look twenty pounds thinner, but I want shoes. Since I can't buy them, I look at them. The internet is great for looking at shoes. I've been spending way too much time looking at shoes. This has led me to buy shoes for my daughter because then I can rationalize the expense. It's not really for me. Plus, she needs shoes for school anyway. I tend to spend a little more money on her shoes than most people would think reasonable for shoes that will only fit her for a year or so, but I can't help it. Since she wears a uniform to school, I like her to have a little character with her shoes. Now, I don't spend $100 on her shoes, but I have been known to fork over $50, which I won't even spend on myself. I only spent $20 on my wedding shoes. That's pretty much the range I like to stick in for my own shoe purchases. I did spend $100 for a pair of Dansko clogs, but those things were worth it. They're incredibly comfortable and I'll have those shoes forever. The thing with looking at shoes on the internet is that you get to see all kinds of shoes and their prices and I really don't understand the shoes that are like $400. If you've got $400 to spend on shoes, you've got too much money and should probably do something a little more altruistic with it. Hey, I've got an idea. If you're a shoe designer or retailer, why don't you send me shoes to test run and write reviews. I'll do that. Just let me know.

So sad.

I got a call yesterday afternoon from someone on the parent/ teacher association telling me that the father of one of my daughter's classmates had unexpectedly passed away and would I be able to make a desert for his funeral lunch. I told her of course and asked how he died. She said she didn't know, only that it was very sudden. So in my mind I'm thinking heart attack, accident. I have to admit suicide did pop into my mind because I've recently learned that a classmate of mine from high school killed herself a couple of months ago. At any rate, I told my daughter and she felt very sad for her classmate and said she'd like to make the cake with me, which she did. Anyway, I had to drop it off at the church this morning and there were already some ladies getting the meal together and I asked them if they knew what had happened, and neither one of them knew, only that it was unexpected because that's what was in the obituary. One of the women showed the obit to me and said she asked the pastor and all he would say is that the article says it was unexpected, so let's just leave it at that. So, of course, we're both assuming it's something like suicide or drug overdose or something along those lines because no one ever wants to say what really happened in those sorts of situations. We did really only talk about suicide, but who really knows. Besides my daughter's classmate, he and his wife have one other child, and I just can't help feeling terrible for those kids. You feel sympathy for the wife as well, but in my thinking she's an adult and is better equipped to handle something like this, but those kids may never understand why this happened. And I don't necessarily know that anyone can truly understand, but as a parent, it makes me angry to think that a father would willingly put his children through this sort of hardship.

Now, I know he must have been suffering from depression or maybe even battling substance abuse, but I generally look at suicide as one of the most selfish and self-centered acts a person can commit. I've known people who had family members who committed suicide that probably would have more sympathy than I would, but I only ever feel sorry for the people left to deal with the aftermath. In my mind, if you've got the wherewithall to take your own life, you've got the wherewithall to ask for help. Granted, I also understand there are people with serious mental illness like schizophrenia who commit suicide, but I usually view those people as not really having the capability to understand the consequence of their actions in relation to the world around them. I suffer from depression myself so I know how very low one can get. And as a teen (or even when I suffered from post-partum depression), I probably had incredibly fleeting moments of considering suicide at some level, but I always knew that was never a real solution to anything and I always knew there was no way in hell I'd put my family through that kind of agony. So my prayers go out to the family dealing with the loss of a husband and father and hope that they can find some kind of peace in their lives and not blame themselves for an action that rests squarely on the shoulders of the person who committed it.

The Brick and LG appliances suck big donkey dicks.

This is a post that Dantallion recently put up and I'm just spreading the word because I've been similarly screwed by Best Buy in the past. Best Buy is the devil, and so, apparently, are The Brick and LG appliances. So read on.

tick…tick…BOOM

If any of you heard a loud noise last night, or the earth rumbling, or perhaps reports of a possible nuclear explosion, not to worry - here’s the explanation.

I’ve made mention several times on my blog recently that my 2-year-old LG refrigerator (with extended warranty) crapped out just over two weeks ago. Aside from the food loss, LG and The Brick (where I purchased it) dicked me around for two weeks - wasting hours and hours of my time, with their incompetence and sheer unwillingness to help - and this despite my being patient and polite for the first week of this nonsense. They had the part in stock the whole time, and could have sent it to me within 2 days of the failure. Instead they told me it would take a MINIMUM of 2 weeks to get the part - and if I was without a fridge for that time, that was just too bad. It took me 1 phone call to the manufacturer to confirm that the parts were readily available. And then hours of my time talking with useless “customer service” people trying to convince them to send the part immediately. I would get one helpful rep telling me that they would ship it to me overnight that night, and then the next day when it didn’t show up, I’d find out that another rep had cancelled the order because they felt that the procedure that had been followed was wrong. It was a comedy of incompetence and apathy like I’ve never seen before. Add to that waiting around for hours for FIVE different service calls (partly because when they DID send the part, it was invariably the wrong one). Once they even sent it to the wrong address.

So finally this past Tuesday, they fixed the fucking thing.

You wanna know the kicker? Last night (Wednesday), I went to the grocery store and spent over $120.00 dollars on stuff to replace some of what I’d lost 2 weeks ago. When I got home, the fucking thing wasn’t working. AGAIN.

SO, in the interests of doing the public a service, and in the hopes that anyone Googling LG or The Brick will come across this post, I offer the following:

WARNING: Don’t ever buy LG products. Don’t ever shop at The Brick furniture and appliance stores. LG and the Brick are incompetent. LG and the Brick offer inferior products. LG and the Brick say they offer good service – this is a lie. LG and the Brick are more interested in washing their hands of their customers once they have sold their product. LG and the Brick do not respect their warranties. LG and the Brick are lazy. LG and The Brick’s complete disregard for their customers and the problems that arise from the products they sell them is disgusting. I’ve bought many different things at many different stores, and never have I been a badly treated as I have been at LG and the Brick.

In their marketing, they infer that LG stands for “Life’s Good”. They forgot to add: “For US. YOU, On The Other Hand, Are Totally SCREWED”.

BUYER BEWARE.

Pass it on.

Life's bitter disappointments.

My daughter is in drama camp this week. It's the first time she's ever done anything like this before, and I think her sudden interest in the theatre stems from my recent participation in the local civic theatre. Anyway, I picked her up today and she had an incredibly sour look on her face so I asked her what was wrong.

"Nothing."

I told her I could tell something was wrong, so why doesn't she just tell me.

"Nothing."

Anyway, I waited until we got in the car and then I asked her again to tell me what was wrong. Then she goes into how she didn't get the part she auditioned for and that she kept getting knocked out of the bathtub and into the darkness. I understood not getting the role, but the rest of it was bizarre to say the least, until she explained the bathtub was part of a scene they were doing. I tried to explain to her that it's rough not getting the part she wanted, but that happens sometimes and that she should still try and do the best that she can with the part she did get (she's apparently part of the court), and try to not let the disappointment ruin the rest of her fun while she's in camp. She had to let her sorrow wash through her for a little while before she could smile and think life was worth living again. And, I understand that. Sometimes we like to just stew in our misery, don't we?

Once she'd finished feeling sorry for herself, the contempt came into play. "I don't even know why the girl who got the part got it," she said. "She doesn't even say the right words."

I told her that it's the director's job to worry about people not doing their jobs and that she should just concentrate on making sure she does her role the way she's supposed to. I think she understands that, but I totally get that she's got to trash the little ho that stole her part.

Burning Questions.

I'm a person who likes answers. If I wonder something, I want to know who, what, when, where, why, and how. However, even I am sometimes stumped in my quest to find answers to all the questions that pop into my head. To wit, I'm going to periodically post those questions and hope that someone out there can answer them for me. I'm also willing to entertain plausible theories, so, please, give me some answers.

Question 1:
Why doesn't Whoopi Goldberg have eyebrows?

Question 2:
Has Michael Jackson really, truly lost his nose to too many surgeries?

So there's a couple to get you started. I'm hoping you will help to dispell any remaining vestiges of ignorance I shamefully carry upon my shoulders. And thanks. You're all swell.

Finished. Finally, truly finished.

So that's that. No more Harry Potter. It's finally finished and I'm kind of sad about it. By the way, there will probably be spoilers in this post, so if you don't want to know what happens in Deathly Hallows, I'd suggest you stop reading now. Speaking of the deathly hallows, I really don't know why they were even in the story. It all seemed pretty unnecessary to me. I don't think it really added anything. Generally speaking, I like the book as much as I like all the other ones. But I am disappointed that there seems to be so much still left up in the air. If this is the last book, give people the satisfaction of tying up all loose ends. I hear JK Rowling plans on releasing a sort of encyclopedia of everything not in the books, which would be helpful. Although, I hope it's just not an encyclopedia in the classic sense. I'd like it to be written as a narrative. Go ahead and organize or categorize like an encyclopedia, but write the stories.

I'm bummed that she killed the people she killed, except for Voldemort of course. The only thing is that it all seemed sort of anti-climatic. I dont know what I was expecting, but I thought Voldemort's death would somehow be more shocking than it was. I don't know. I am glad, though, that she did not kill off Ron or Hermione. I think that was a real fear of many readers, but she's leaves them alive. The death that bummed me out the most was definitely Fred. I can't imagine how George's life goes on without his twin. I wish she would have gotten a little deeper into their future lives. I mean, she gives the epilogue, but she only gives you tiny hint of what their lives are like. I felt so sad that Tonks and Lupin both die, leaving their son parentless. I mean, come on, she could have left at least one of them alive so little Teddy didn't have to end up an orphan.

My daughter is currently listening to the audio book and just heard that Hedwig died and she asked, "How much more can [JK Rowling] do to Harry?"



By the way, one of my daughter's friends clued me into the Potter Puppet Theatre on You Tube. It's sad, but true, to say I've finally reached a point of my life where my cues on the hip and relevant come from nine-year-olds.

Can't. Talk.

Reading. Harry. Potter. 100. Pages. Left.

My daughter is a whiner.

My daughter is now attempting to practice guitar for the first time in a month, and she is really making it a bitch. She has class tomorrow, so I told her to start practicing last night because she hasn't done it at all these last few weeks of vacation, and she plunks a couple of notes before wailing, "I can't remember anything." My big mistake was trying to reason with her. I told her to go back to some of the older stuff that she's played a million times so that her fingers could get back in the groove of it and sort of jump start her memory. But she was determined to whine, and utterly convinced that she didn't remember how to play guitar. Anyway, I told her to wait until her father came home to help her (he reads music and I don't), but that didn't happen because we had a dinner date with friends last night. So she's trying to practice now and telling my husband that she's lost and she doesn't understand what he's trying to tell her. It probably wouldn't be sooooooo bad if she weren't literally whining. You know, those pathetic sort of noises kids make when they're complaining about something. She just did it again and it's all I can do to keep from flying off the handle. I HATE it when kids whine and my first impulse is always to smack them. I particularly hate it when my daughter whines because it means she's not even trying and that infuriates me more than anything. I probably shouldn't be admitting these things because now a world of strangers will think I'm an abusive mother, but what are ya gonna do? While I'm confessing my sins, let me tell you what I did earlier this evening. My daughter had a loose tooth that she finally agreed to let us pull out. My husband's preferred tool is pliers. So he yanks that sucker out and I tell her to rinse and spit until I can bring down some gauze for her to bite on to stop the bleeding. One of the things I didn't mention about while we were on vacation was that my mother stayed at our house to watch our dog. She took that opportunity to completely clean and reorganize my house. (Something she knows I don't like her doing.) So I went up to the linen closest and couldn't find the gauze, but I did see my box of tampons. And that's when the wheels started turning. Tampons are made to staunch bleeding and, surely, they're sterile because women shove them up their cooches. That technically makes them a medical supply. So I took one out and removed the applicator and took the cotton down to my daughter and told her to put it in her mouth and bite down. She asked me what it was and I told her it was something specifically made to stop bleeding. I have to admit it was a little funny to see her walk around with the tampon string hanging out of her mouth. And that's how we mothers get back at our children for whining. I should have taken a picture.

Harry.

Went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix yesterday and it was pretty good. In some ways, I think it did a good job of distilling the book down to its essentials. However, it's always a bit disappointing that the movies can't include a lot of the side stories that make the books so entertaining. In particular, Hermione's SPEW movement. I think that's some of the funniest stuff in the books. But, it's a different medium and one that is unfortunately limited to a couple of hours, for commercial purposes anyway. It's hard to know how someone without any prior knowledge of the books would view the films, but it's also hard not to fill in the blanks when you know what they are. Does that make the movies more enjoyable than they might be otherwise? I don't know. All I know, is that I thouroughly enjoyed this latest installment. I thought the actress playing Luna Lovegood did an excellent job getting across Luna's, well, loonieness. It's always a shame to me that actors like Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman only get a few short minutes to show their stuff, because they are so damn good at what they do. I thought Imelda Staunton was wonderful as Dolores Umbridge; although, I wish they would have made her look more the way she's described in the book. She wasn't nearly toady enough, I thought. At any rate, I liked the movie and didn't feel like I'd wasted my money.

Changing topics now, I'm attending my 20th high school reunion next month. I'm excited to see my friends becaue I haven't been to Utah in about eight years. Although, I'm always more interested to see how people, in general, have turned out. I know how all my friends are doing, so of course, I'm really interested in all the other people. Basically the people who treated me poorly. I want to see if their lives have descended into the hell they should have. I'm kidding. I don't really wish people's lives have turned out crappily. Seriously. I'm not that cruel. Most of the time.

Back to the real world.

Well, we're back from Disney and everything seems really anti-climactic now. How does one live in the real world once they've seen Disney? It was fun, but that place is a finely-tuned money sucking machine. It's incredible the way they make you forget about everything and keep you focused on spending, spending, spending. Like when you're finished with a ride, it empties out into a gift shop. And you find that you must spend your money. You can't help yourself. Beyond that, it really is a fun place. My daughter said it was the best week of her life, and isn't that really what it's all about?

Here are some things I learned while in Disney:
1. It's a bad idea to plan a trip to Disney when your children are babies or toddlers. We specifically waited until our daughter reached nine because I wanted her to be old enough to walk all day long and be old enough to control her emotions. At least be able to control them better than a baby or toddler. I saw these families dragging these kids around who were just miserable. I mean they were probably having some fun, but they were also crying and whining about the heat and having major meltdowns. To me, this is something you experience everyday when children are that age. I am not going to pay big money to take my child across the country to have her do what she does at home for free.

2. People are still jerks, even in Disney World. It's amazing to me how rude people are in a place like Disney World because everyone is there to have a good time, right? I mean, if you're going to get upset because the line is too long and the weather is sweltering, you shouldn't be there and you definitely shouldn't be taking it out on your family or other visitors. I saw some really harsh stuff as far as parents just going off on their kids and being majorly rude. For instance, I lost sight of my daughter at one point while she was watching this High School Musical thing. I was just trying to get through the crowd a bit so I could find her and know where she was. As I was squeezing by this lady, she actually started pushing me off to the side and I was like, "Look, I'm just trying to find my daughter, OK?" And she's like, well I'm keeping an eye on my kid, too. And pushes me off to the side again. Like she thought I was trying to steal her space or something. Whatever. I just wanted to catch sight and I eventually had to get down on my hands and knees so I could peer between people's legs to see where she was. But not until after I stood right next to the lady at ear level and screamed my daughter's name as loud as I could. Have I ever mentioned I can scream really, really loud? I mean really loud. I'm pretty sure they heard me at all the other parks.

3. I hate European tour groups. Everywhere we went, we encountered these tour groups compiled of about 300 hundred teenagers and God help you if you ended up in the middle of one of these groups, or worse, behind them. Seriously, it's like trying to make your way through a stampede of wildebeest or something. And they're clueless. They don't seem to have the ability to figure out what they should be doing or able to discern what's going on around them because they're focused so closely on the person with the flag that's taking them around the place. It's like sheep. Nothing else exists but the leader. So you get jostled and generally abused. They should outlaw those tour groups or mandate that any individual group can only hold up to 20 people.

4. People from the UK are generally very friendly. I cannot count the number of times we ended up in conversation with families from the UK because one of the parents just started talking to us. I didn't mind it at all and they were all very enjoyable conversations. Not so many Americans did the same. I just find it interesting that as a society, we seem so disconnected from each other that we're unlikely to want to speak to strangers. Even at Disney World.

Blueberries, anyone?

My mother, daughter, friend Cyndi and I just returned from picking blueberries. We brought home roughly thirty pounds, and my friend picked about eleven pounds. It's the first time I've ever gone blueberry picking and it was a lot of fun. When we got there, though, they directed us to a certain area where the bushes weren't too spectacular. The berries all looked pretty small, but we passed several bushes where the berries were pretty large, so my mom asked if we could do those and the girl was trying to tell us how they were really open yet, but my mom pointed out other people were picking the berries from that area and, finally, the girl had no choice but to relent and let my mom have access to the other bushes. We stayed in the original area, but then my daughter went to pick with my mother and came back with the mother lode of berries, so we moseyed on over the good plants. When we got there, there was some guy there rapidly picking only the large berries and then moving on to the next plant. You're supposed to pick a bush as clean as you can before you move on to the next one, so this guy was pretty much breaking the law. Well, don't ever think you can get between my mother and good anything, so she would move to the bush in front of him to strike before he could get to it. My friend Cyndi, who goes to this berry farm pretty often, told us there was a woman who works at the farm who she calls the Blueberry Nazi because this woman yells at people if they don't pick a bush clean before moving on. I saw the lady before we left. She does look like a Blueberry Nazi. Anyway, it was a good time and I recommend it highly if you ever get the chance.

Happy Fourth of July.

The child comes home today and I'd be really excited about it if I had time to dwell on it. But, my parents are bringing home the child which means as soon as I post this blog, I am off for some MAJOR house cleaning. Mainly because my mother maintains a certain standard of cleanliness that's hard for most humans to maintain. What's worse is that she's not too shy sharing how I do not quite live up to that standard. She might not say anything at first, or ever, but then you see in her eyes how she's scanning everything and making a mental note as to what she's going to tackle first. And when I say tackle, I mean clean. It bothers me that I can't control what goes on in my own house when she's here. I tell her to stop and attempt to physically restrain her from cleaning, but then she tells me she's just trying to help me and why don't I let her help me and why do I try to make her feel guilty for wanting to help me. It's a point of contention that will never be resolved because my mother simply refuses to acknowledge that it's not her god-given right or responsibility to clean my house, or rearrange it, or improve it, and I refuse to acknowledge that it is. In many ways, this argument boils down to cultural differences. Korean mothers do clean their children's houses and the children let them, and in some ways expect them to do it. However, as far as house cleaning goes, I'm thoroughly American and don't want my mother to feel like she has to do anything other than relax when she in my home. In fact, I find it somewhat disturbing that some of my Korean cousins don't have any problem letting their mothers do their housework. In my mind, my home is my responsibility and I'm certainly not going to expect my mother to lift a finger in addressing that responsibility. Anyway, although I love having my parents here, it's always just a matter of time before that bomb explodes and we end up with another screaming match about cleaning. It's a bummer to have that cloud hanging over your head. So, I'm off to clean. How does this all fit in with Fourth of July? It's all about the fireworks, baby.

If I've heard of him, why haven't they?

I just finished watching America's Got Talent with my husband and I'm really confused about somethihng. One of the acts was a man named Thoth, like the Egyptian god, who is performance artist who plays violin, dances, and sings in New York. As soon as I saw him, I asked my husband, "Isn't that the guy who plays the violin and stuff outside of subway stations and stuff?" He didn't know what I was talking about (which isn't really unusual), but I knew I'd seen something about Thoth before. And then I remembered that there was documentary or something made about him once. What confuses me, is that the judges didn't seem to recogonize him as anything more than one of the other anonymous acts that tried their shot at making it to Las Vegas. They voted him off, but made comments that suggested they didn't know him from Adam. Anyway, I was pretty sure this guy had made a blip on the radar at one time, so I jumped on the computer and did a Google search, and, sure enough, I found information on the documentary, which is appropriately titled, "Thoth." And then I read that it had won the Oscar for best documentary, short subject, and that's when it all came back because I remember watching the Oscars when it won the award, and Thoth was there and the filmmakers had him come up on stage with them. So, if I can remember all of that from five years ago, why didn't the judges recognize him? I'm not necessarily saying he should have been pushed to the next round, but you'd think they remember the subject of an Oscar-winning documentary. I remembered and I'm just a regular person.

Good Cop, Bad Cop

Baby Pearl's next and, apparently, last appearance with Will Ferrell.



I still think the first one was funnier.

OK, this is impressive

Watch this kid tie his shoe without touching the shoelaces.

Stop the madness

Mistake number one: buying a four pound bag of salt water taffy from Sam's Club.

Mistake number two: bringing home the left-over salt water taffy not consumed by cast and crew.

Mistake number three: eating enough salt water taffy to make me feel like I'm going to blow chunks.

What's the madness? I could definitely eat more.

Practice makes perfect

So we met last night to practice songs for the gala on Friday night and we pretty much decided not to make things too complicated for ourselves. We agreed that Ed and I would sing our song from Zombies and then one extra each from other shows. I'm going to learn Big Spender from Sweet Charity and Ed is going to learn Mr. Cellophane from Chicago. He sounded really, really good singing it last night. We practiced in the Masonic Temple, which is where the gala is being held and after we finished, I wanted to explore and find what kind of secret torture devices they had hanging around, but Ed wouldn't let me because he's principled and all that. So that was a drag. I know there's some kind of freaky shit in there.

I have completely lost track of time without my daughter being here. She's currently visiting my parents in DC and I really can't keep the day straight. It just goes to show you what an endless monotony my life would be without her in it. Well, it goes to show me, anyhow. I spoke to my daughter on the phone last night because they had all gone to Virginia Beach for the weekend and I wanted to find out how it went. They had loads of fun and she told me they are going to Hershey Park this weekend. She told me her chocolate senses are already tingling.

The show is over.

So we closed yesterday, which is good. The run didn't turn out too badly because a couple of friends of mine from Zombies were working stage crew, so I had people to hang with during the show. I only appeared in the last act of thet play, so I had a lot of time on my hands. There was one new kid who volunteered for crew and he has one of the most toxic personalities I've ever encountered in my life. You just knew every night, at some point, he was going to be in the middle of an argument with someone and it was definitely the last thing any of us wanted to have to deal with while trying to keep track of what was going on on stage. However, things usually have a way of balancing and although I was introduced to a person I never want to see again, I also got to meet one of the other Civic veterans for the first time, and he is hilarious, and I defintely hope I get to work with him again. I actually saw him perform before meeting him, and he's good. He's also just a sweet guy. I'd like to say I get a break now, but I now have to start practicing for this theatre gala thing that I've been asked to perform for. I'm doing it with my friend Ed from Zombies, but it's this Friday and we're only rehearsing for the first time tonight. So this should be an experience.

I'm a dirty whore.

At least that's what people are probably thinking when they see the huge ass cold sore on my lip. I don't know what it is about plays and cold sores, but so far this year, I'm two for two.
OK, that's not my actual cold sore, but the one I have is about that big. We have to rehearse tonight; although, I don't know why. We know our parts and I don't think we forgot anything in the two days we had off. And then we're supposed to actually dress for it. I don't know, maybe I'll put on my apron if I'm willing to be cooperative. And, yes, I know I'm bitching, but I'm allowed to bitch because I have a huge, freaking cold sore on my lip. I put the a seed of hopefulness in my daughter's head when she went to DC to hang with the rents. I told her my brother (her uncle) was thinking about buying a Wii and maybe she could convince him so she could play with it. Anyway, my brother told me after she said hi to him on the phone last night, she immediately proceeded to inform him that she's be more than willing to play it with him. He told her he wasn't buying one because he just bought a laptop (which wasn't even a mac, dork), so those dreams are dashed. Poor kid. Buy the freaking Wii, Mike. Give the kid a little joy in life.

mental health day

I'm taking a mental health day. I'm just wiped out and need a break. The kid is off with the rents for a couple of weeks, which is nice, but it gets awfully quiet when she's not around. I usually make it about a week and a half before I really start missing her. The show opened this weekend and it got a good review; although, I got a sucky review. You'd think five minutes on stage would go more unnoticed. But what are you going to do? People are entitled to their opinions and in this case, it was just my misfortune that one of the nay-sayers got to write an article about it. But that's life. Or perhaps I should say, c'est la vie. Anyway, I went and watched Knocked Up over the weekend with a friend and that movie was hilarious. I mean, HILARIOUS. For those of you who don't know, it was written and directed by the same guy who did 40-year-old Virgin, and I thought it was just as funny as that film. I love, though, how we can now have sort of "normal schlubs" as heroes movies, but the girl in question still has to be thin and beautiful. I want a movie about a normal looking, normal sized woman who gets Brad Pitt or someone like that. So someone go out and make that movie for me, will ya? P.S. I think Paul Rudd is just marvelous. Not specifically in Knocked Up, but in general.

Please let it be over.

The show opens Friday and, let me tell you, this show can't be done with soon enough as far as I'm concerned. The only good part about being involved in this entire thing is that I get to hang out with my friend Melanie. They didn't even bother to make sure they had the right person listed for my part in the promotional postcards they sent out. I assume the girl on the flyers is the girl originally cast, but I don't know. It's not that big of deal because I really don't care in the whole scheme of things, but it's kind of a prime statement on the nature of the people running this production. The only thing about it that kind of pisses me off, is that one of the directors said to me tonight in a really off-handed, not really concerned manner, "Oh, sorry about the name being all wrong on the postcard." Those things got mailed out two weeks ago and this is the first time they've even bothered acknowledging the mistake. I'm like, please don't waste your breath because it's obvious you could give two fucks. Don't insult my intelligence by even pretending to care. It is the most uncomfortable show I've ever been in. The directors are not warm people and they don't do much to create any sort of team environment. Let's just say, if I was doing trust exercises with one of those two, I'd let them hit the ground like a sack of shit. I hope this all doesn't sound too vitriolic because it might suggest that I care that they're shits, which I don't. It's just sort of a statement of events as they've happened. I pretty much respond to people the way they act, which is all very straight forward and simple. Oh, one thing did surprise me though, one of them actually called me by my name, not my character's name, and I was amazed that they even knew what my name is because it was the first time I'd ever heard either of them use it.

By the way, this is the photo they're going to use for the lobby. I hate it, but I usually hate my picture.

I confess

I am totally addicted to this desert sort of thing I've been eating since I started doing the weight watchers. I take sugar free/fat free jello pudding, mix in All Bran bran buds and top it with Cool Whip free. It is freaking awesome. I don't really know how many points it is, but I know it's not much because the cool whip is zero points, the pudding is a couple points, I think, and the cereal is one or two points, something like that. It's so good, plus it's got plenty of fiber, which is always good. Another yummy breakfast I've been doing is the McCann's instant oatmeal with fat free Smart Start margarine and some splenda brown sugar mix. That's only like two or three points a serving and it's really filling. I ate not so great over the weekend because we had a bbq and I had to give some advice over sangria to one of my castmates about this dickwad guy in her life who's making her miserable. And, of course, with the sangria, I had to eat the chips and salsa. Salsa is not a problem, but the chips are. So, it's back to the plan. I don't really know if I've lost much weight because I don't weigh myself because I know I'll be depressed by whatever the number says, but I do feel less bogged down and bloated, so that's good.

Help me

There are at least two wasps or hornets flying around my office right now and I'm scared. Really, really scared. OK, maybe only really scared, but I know one of those S.O.B.s is going to come dive-bomb me any second. One is buzzing the florescent lighting above my head and the sound is making me want to scream. I called building maintenance and asked them to send up someone with bug spray, but they still haven't shown up. Typical. What's really weirding me out is the fact that if there are two, there's probably a nest or something in here. (uncontrolled sobbing) Someone please come and help me. NOW! OMG. One just flew right in front of my face. Where's the bug spray guy? Where's the bug spray guy? I feel like I'm in some kind of horror movie.

SOS (same old shit)

These play rehearsals just get more interesting every time I show up. Last night we were all sitting around during a break, just talking about random crap, when the director says, "My worst nightmare was being trapped on an elevator with four kor...mumble, mumble."

And I asked, "Trapped with four what?"

"Four Koreans, the smell of garlic was terrible. They eat a lot of garlic, you know."

And I said, "Oh, I know. I'm half Korean."

Then everyone just sat in uncomfortable silence for awhile before the director came over to where I was sitting and tried to have a nonchalant sort of conversation about his experience with Koreans. In my mind, I'm thinking, just stop talking. You're not making things better at this point. Anyway, so I sat there and listened to his talk while he tried to explain that he didn't think it was the people that smelled, but just the garlic that they ate. Whatever. At moments like this, you can only really laugh about it because people are fucking stupid.

There are better things I could be doing.

I had to get my picture taken tonight for the play. They put up the cast's photos in the lobby so people can see what you really look like. The best part of the entire thing is that it didn't take long. I really don't like having my picture taken because I never feel like I can look natural in them. I always feel self-conscious about smiling, mainly because my teeth are crooked. I really don't like my teeth at all and once I'm done fixing my daughter's teeth, I'm getting mine straightened out. But that's going to be awhile. Anyway, I didn't like any of the photos the guy took, but what are you going to do? I usually try to do a stupid face in photos because at least that way I'm looking stupid on purpose instead of just looking stupid in my natural state.

They seriously taste like grapes.

So I picked up a pack of grapples yesterday at the supermarket, and they actually taste like grapes. It's amazing. I don't know what kind of voodoo genetic research those apple farmers are doing, but I approve. I highly recommend you pick some up for yourself. If you're unfamiliar with the grapple, it's fruit that looks like an apple and tastes like a grape. They're really nice and sweet.

Homey don't play that.

So I had my first rehearsal last night with the new play. As it turns out, all my lines are in French, which is fine since there really aren't that many lines to begin with. I think I'm going to get a friend of mine to hook me up with one of the French instructors in the language department so I can record them speaking the lines so I get the pronunciation down correctly. Other than that, everyone seems OK, except for this one chick who rubbed me the wrong way. Durning a break, the other cast memebers were asking her about an interview she had and it was obvious it was an interview with a university or college somewhere, so I asked which school it was. It was someplace I've never heard of before. And then I asked what she teaches, and she responds in a really snotty way, "Theatre, isn't it obvious?" And I said, "Um, yeah, no, sorry." And then the other people sort of laughed uncomfortably and this one guy said she was joking, so I threw my script on the floor and pretended to storm out and said, "Fine. I'm outta here." Then the director said, "Oh no, we've lost another Louise." Anyway, after I was done messing around, I came back to sit in my seat and this girl said, "Yeah, I can be a diva." And I told her, "Sweetheart, you haven't seen diva yet. You've only just met me." Anyway, we'll see if my first impression of her holds up. For all I know, she could be the sweetest person in the world, but I'm not going to be holding my breath or anything.

That was short.

Well, it seems I'll be back on stage sooner than I thought. I've just accepted the role of the french maid in the civic theatre's upcoming production of Private Lives. One of my castmates from Zombies asked if I knew French and I said I knew some since I'd studied it for four years. I said I'd really only be interested if it were a small role that didn't require a lot of rehearsal time on my part, so the director called me and I said I'd do it. The person they originally cast apparently bailed, so they needed someone tout de suite. Anyway, I'm excited about it. It should be fun and not nearly as hectic as the last show, which is good for now.

Can I just say that I am pissed?

So my insurance won't pay for the recent round of HPV vaccinations I started for my daughter. Apparently, since it's not a state-mandated vaccination, they won't cough up the dough. I find this infuriating, especially since they will pay for viagra. Helping prevent cervical cancer in girls is apparently not as important as helping old men get their willies up. Of course, I shouldn't be surprised. Nothing is more tragic than some old geezer not being able to get his freak on. Not even a woman dying of a form of cancer that is nearly preventable now.

My stomach hurts

I don't know what's going on, but my stomach hurts and I feel like I'm going to puke. My head feels dizzy, too. I was sitting here, innocently drinking my coffee when I just didn't feel well at all. I don't know if I'm actually going to puke, but I'm going to prepare for a mad dash to the bathroom just in case. Mother's Day was pretty good. My husband and I went to watch a play at the civic theatre and he bought me stuff at Sephora, which is always nice. The play was good; although, a couple of the actors didn't quite live up to the script. It was better than I expected, though, because the paper had given it a really bad review. The kids are off, so it's basically the start of summer here on campus, which means I get to sit in my office all by myself and stare out the window. Good times, good times.

There's a spider crawling on my wall, but I'm too lazy to get up and kill it.

Bear with me

My dog has diarrhea and I stepped in shit twice this morning, but that still doesn't compare to the animal problem my sister had yesterday. Take a look a these pictures.







In case you were wondering, that is bear shit on the back seat. I'm not completely sure about what happened, but it looks like a bear climbed into my brother-in-law's truck and demolished it before game wardens and deputies and everyone else in the state of Montana were able to get it out.

Super freaky

Watch this.

OMG

I just found out that Thai iced coffee is seven points. Damn, I just had some at the Thai restaurant where I had lunch. And here I thought I was being good by ordering the mixed vegetables with steamed tofu, not even the fried tofu, but the steamed tofu. Why? Why must the lure of sweet iced coffee be so tempting? I can never say no. It's so delicious and refreshing. Oh well, looks like I'll be sucking on ice cubes for the rest of the day. I don't care, it was worth it.

I am not looking forward to going home today.

Apparently, after I left the house this morning and while my husband was taking a shower, our dog pooped in her litter box but then stepped in it and then took a leisurely stroll around the house. My husband told me he saw poopy little pawprints all over the place. He said he cleaned as much as he could see, but he had to get to work. Anyway, when I get home, I get to go around and see if there's anything else to clean up. I'm not looking forward to that. Meanwhile, we found out it will cost $3300 to fix my car. It needs a new timing belt and a general overhaul which we've been putting off for some time. It's '97 Accord stationwagon. My husband asked if we should just get another car, but we'd have to get a used car and I don't want to get something just to settle because it's going to take a lot of fix this one up. Once this one is retooled, it should still last a good five years at least. My brother thinks I'm fooling myself and that it'll probably only last another three years, but it's at the dealership. Why would they tell me it could still last a good amount of time when they could just try and steer me toward buying a car? Anyway, I don't want to buy a new car until I can get exactly what I want. There's no point in spending money on something I don't really want.

I suck.

Every Friday night, some of the people from the play go to this place called Frank's to sing karaoke and hang out. I'd really like to go this evening just to see everyone and say hi and sing a song or two, but I have a hard time getting myself together to step out the door at 9:00 or 10:00 on a Friday evening. Now, I know this is normal heading-out-on-the town time for people, but I'm at an age now where I wonder why does it have to be so late. If I'm already out at 9:00, there's really no problem, but not leaving until 9:00 is a completely different story because I've usually fallen asleep on the couch by then. I asked one of my grad students if she wanted to go with me, but maybe we could get there a little earlier than 9:00 and eat dinner or something and just wait for other people to show up. She'll call me to see if she can do that. But, it's hard to admit that I don't have the same spark and spunk that I used to.

FIRE!

K, so we totally just had a fire drill in the building and pretty much no one paid attention to it. I didn't get up right away, myself, until I got a whiff of what smelled like an electrical fire. So I turned off everything and headed out. I saw some firemen looking in a trash can on the floor beneath mine, but I didn't see any fire. I don't know if there was a fire. It probably wasn't even worth the effort of coming back up to the office since I leave in six minutes anyway.

Withdrawal

It's been a week since the show closed and I'm actually experiencing withdrawal. Seriously, I find myself longing for the next play. I miss my castmates. They're all such wonderful people. I hadn't realized what I had kept buried for so long by not performing, and now it's out again and I want more. But, I'll have to bide my time until Fall because I just can't fit more than two shows a year into my schedule.

Oh, the other day my daughter and I were watching this Swan marathon on Fox Reality channel and we were completely hooked. I'd never seen that show, but it was amazing the changes those women went through in three months. The thing I found interesting about the women is that most of them suffered primarily from mental problems rather than physical problems. Granted, some of them had really shitty upbringings, but they all seemed to have pretty OK lives. I wonder how many of them would have wanted the drastic plastic surgeries they had if they had had intensive counseling beforehand. They had therapy in conjunction with the physical changes, but I wonder if they would have wanted as much if they'd learned to love themselves first.

Screw it, I'm just doing Weight Watchers.

Well, my lemonade cleanse lasted about 12 hours. I did the laxative tea Saturday night, woke up Sunday and did most of my quart of salt water, which was completely gross because it was like swallowing liquid snot, drank a cup of coffee (because I'm not giving up coffee), waited about an hour and then drank my first glass of lemonade. Then I went up to take a shower and while I was in the bathroom, I thought to myself, "I'm going to puke." I lifted the toilet seat and then proceeded to puke out all the contents of my stomach. It was weird because there was no build up, no aching stomach, just the thought that I was going to throw-up and then I did. Anyway, I then had to tell my husband and daughter that I'd just vomitted and then the two of them begged me to pleeeeeeeaase not do this cleanse. It wasn't a hard sell on their part after the puking. So with that failed experiment, I'm going to just go back to Weight Watchers because it works, at least it's the only thing that's ever worked for me. My friend and I decided we'll meet every Saturday to make the week's worth of food so we can just put it in the freezer and not worry about being too rushed during the week to make our food. Meanwhile, I've got an entire gallon of cayenne-spiked lemonade sitting in the fridge. I'll go ahead and finish it because it's actually not too bad despite the pepper. I just won't be using it for the cleanse anymore.

So it's like this...

It's 11:06 pm and I just finished watching a movie on the computer. For some reason I'm burping a lot and it's not pleasant. Mookie is asleep on the floor behind me. Such a good dog. I'm tired but I don't feel sleepy. I've got to go to bed or I'll be really tired tomorrow. You know, I've realized that I have completely lost track of my life. I just had to think for a little bit to figure out what day tomorrow is. I'm going to start this lemonade cleanse/detox thing on Sunday. One problem from the play is that I had to eat on the run a lot, which means I've been doing less than healthy eating for a while now. I feel bloated and disgusting to say the least. I'll do this 10-day thing and then hopefully feel like a spring chicken. I kind of want to use it to jump start a return to healthier things in general. Like right now, I feel like I've got a rock sitting in my stomach. I think it's from the meatball sub I had for lunch. I wish I were rich only so I could hire someone to make all my meals, like how Oprah does. And I'd hire someone to make me exercise everyday. While I'm at it, I'd hire someone to give me facials and foot rubs everyday, too. Yeah, that would be the life.

Blaaaaa.

It has been a SHIT morning. First of all, there's a monsoon raging outside, which sucks. Add to that the fact that my husband forgot to pack our daughter's lunch for school so I had to run to CVS to get something for her to eat after I dropped her off at school. Guess what? CVS doesn't sell Lunchables. However, you can get plenty of sour cream if you're in the need. What kind of crazy mixed-up shit is that? Let's take a quick poll: If you run into CVS, are you more likely to come out with a Lunchables or sour cream? Anyway, I've had to now get in and out of the car a few times, which means I'm wet. So I run across the street to a gas station where they DO have lunchables (hallelujah). I grab that and a cup of coffee and make my way back to my daughter's school. When I get there, I'm pretty wet from all my stops. I take the stuff to her and she says she forgot the confetti she was supposed to bring to school and would I go get it for her and she gives me that stare: the sad, puppy-eyes stare, and for a moment I almost said yes, but I told her I couldn't because I was already going to be late for work as it it. But as I left the school, I stopped in the office and called home hoping my husband was still there so he could drop off the confetti. He didn't answer and I left a message, but he was probably already gone. Off topic, what about cell phones possibly being responsible for all the bees dying? That's some scary stuff. We need the bees. We need the bees more than we need the cell phones.

C'est fini.

It's over. The play is over. We had our last show yesterday afternoon. It's been quite an experience and I am so glad I finally got back to performing. My husband and daughter both told me yesterday that they could tell I had been a lot happier while doing the play. My daughter said, "Mom, it's finally time you did something for yourself." When she says stuff like that, it makes it totally worth it that I didn't drop her off in front of the orphanage when she was first born like I thought about doing. But seriously, I am totally blessed to have a family that supported me, even though it meant I wasn't around so much, especially toward the end. I could tell my daughter, particularly, was starting to miss me a lot when I had rehearsal or performances practically every night. It made me feel guilty, and that's a large part of why I'll probably only do a couple of things a year. Even though she's growing more mature everyday, stuff like this reminds me that she's still just a kid who needs her mom.

It's tough being a superstar.

We just finished our first performance of the week, which is actually performance number four in the run. We found out they're adding at least one additional show to the weekend because tickets have been selling so well. Originally, they told us we'd have an extra two shows during the weekend, but they downsized. I'm not complaining, though. Even though it's a lot of fun, doing that many performances in one weekend would take it out of me. It'll seem weird to have time once we're done. I'm pretty tired right now. I'm just burning a CD before I go to bed, so I figured I do a little post since I don't have much time otherwise to do it. Thank God for Red Bull. That's all I'm going to say.

Different picture, different faces

I tried a different picture on that my heritage thing and got completely different results, well except for one person.

I am pooped.

Well, the opening weekend went pretty well, if I do say so myself. We got a pretty good review in the paper, so that's a good thing. I wasn't feeling the energy so much at yesterday's matinee, but we get two days to rest before we hit the stage on Wednesday. It's been a lot of fun.

You'd think I have better things to do with my time.

Zombies preview

Here are some shots from our dress rehearsal. If you're lucky enough to live in South Bend, come watch. If not, then too bad. You'll be missing out on a truly historic theatrical moment.

Happy birthday to me.

It's my birthday today. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Of course, that means I'll end up dealing with more shit than normal today because no one will know it's my birthday and they won't try to let me have a peaceful day. Good news is my husband and daughter got me the spinning bird feeder so now I can watch the squirrels get tossed around the backyard. Ha, ha. I'm evil.

Jeez

The good news is that I only had to stay at the theatre until 10:30, the bad news is that I feel like I stayed until midnight. My husband is worried that I'm tired all the time, but I know it's because I'm just running around so much lately. I think once the play is over, I should have more energy. Maybe I'll stock up on some Red Bull. Although, I have to say, I can't say I've noticed any significant increase in energy when I've drunk it in the past. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel like, but I don't think I'm getting it. I actually like the taste of Red Bull. I got an email from a high school friend I haven't heard from in years asking if I plan on going to our 20th reunion this summer. I really want to go, but it depends mainly on when they have the reunion because we're going to disneyworld this summer, and if they have it at the same time, I'll miss it. I can't believe it's been 20 years since I graduated high school. It still seems like yesterday. K, I've got to go drop a deuce. Talk to you later.

Back too soon.

I was on vacation last week because of my daughter's spring break, and now it's back to reality as usual, which sucks. Tonight we have the tech run-through for the play and they've told us to expect to be there until midnight, which means I'm taking a nap as soon as I get home. The play opens Friday and I'm pretty excited. But I have to say I'll be glad when it's over so I can get some time back. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep it to two plays a year just because the time commitment is so intense. My parents are coming to watch, which is a pleasant surprise for me. My brother said he was coming (but he's not), and I wasn't really anticipating my parents making the trip, but it turned out the other way around. Somehow, I'll have to try and figure out a way to clean the house before they get here.