Realm of Writing Korean Celt

Another IM conversation between me and my brother

2011-01-12T10:58:00.000-05:00

I can't help that we have the most hilarious conversations on the planet. But consider yourselves lucky that we do.

Podcast episode 40

2010-09-03T13:26:00.000-04:00

My friends and I review The Exorcist. And, yes, we'd been drinking.

Podcast episode 39

2010-07-16T13:36:00.000-04:00

Sixteen Candles and Valley Girl have never been reviewed more brilliantly than they are reviewed by my boo and I. Listen, listen, listen. All you've got to do is click the button.

Podcast 38

2010-07-04T18:46:00.002-04:00

You just can't keep two good bitches down. My boo and I review 80's classic vampire flick Lost Boys. Come join us in the hilarity.

When the fat lady sings

2010-06-27T22:27:00.000-04:00

One chapter ends, the next begins, and it's all going to be okay in the end.

You need to read this story

2010-06-17T10:23:00.000-04:00

Another IM conversation with my brother telling me the oh, so touching story of butter dick. Enjoy.

Podcast 37

2010-06-06T20:52:00.003-04:00

My boo Brian and I review Alice in Wonderland. Like all things we do, it's awesome, so listen.

Dave Matthews Band - You & Me

2010-05-27T09:41:00.000-04:00

Pretty much been listening to this song non-stop for the last couple of days, so you should listen to it with me. We can pretend we're sitting on the grass together, looking up at the night sky and imagining a better place.

More random complaining.

2010-05-09T21:00:00.000-04:00

You'd think I'd be sick of it by now, wouldn't you? Complaining. Actually, I'm not going to complain this time. I'm going to talk about a weird kind of clarity I've been experiencing over the last couple of days. I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately and all this thinking has solidified some stuff in my mind that has had a kind of freeing effect. It's a good feeling in a strange kind of way because now I can take action, which is always the better way of things in my mind. Thinking is fine, but it doesn't really change anything, does it? Someone asked me on Formspring why I always seem unhappy and it kind of struck a cord with me. If strangers pick up on a sense of unhappiness, what do people in my life pick up on? Anyway, life and time are not my enemies.

So here's the thing...

2010-04-25T19:25:00.000-04:00

The problem with blogs is that the only time some people feel compelled to post is when they want to bitch about something, which can get tiresome after awhile. This is pArticularly true of me lately. I only seem motivated to write something when I'm bothered or troubled in some way. It's got me wondering why this is the case. Wouldn't you think people would want to share the best of their lives if they are so willing to share the worst? For instance, I've only felt like writing all the stupid angsty shit I've been partial to lately. It's as if I'm 17 again. However there doesn't seem to be an end in sight for the angst, so buckle I

The funks hit everybody.

2010-04-15T21:21:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to think this mid-life crisis thing (for women, anyway) is just the angst years. For men, this happens more in their early 20's. Lucky us, we get to be all emo at the same time our kids are. It's amazing how much of my time is spent brooding. It's pathetic, really, but I can't seem to escape it. And it never even seems to be about anything specific, it's just a general malaise and feeling of lack of ease. I don't know if it's about having this feeling where there's so much potential bottled up inside with no clear idea of how to release it, but I'm thinking it's at least part of it. Or maybe it's not so much lacking a clear idea of how to release it as much as it is there are just others responsibilities that have to come first. I'm almost starting to think it's part of why I try to keep myself so busy lately. Down time means I get lost in my thoughts, and that's kind of a dangerous place to be right now.

What am I up to now?

2010-04-11T17:41:00.000-04:00

Right now I'm in my office uploading a bunch of software on my new iMac--which is super sweet, I must say. This is my last day of vacation and I'm in the office. Eh, it had to be done so that I could jump right into what I've got to get done when I come back in tomorrow. It was a pretty mellow week, though. Just hung around with my daughter while she was on spring break. Things pick up for me next weekend when I start doing crew for a show, but that's kind of how I like things.

Can I tell you how much I want an iPod Touch? I really, really, really, really want an iPod Touch. I don't even want it for the music, my iPod Nano is still doing just fine in that department. I want it purely for the internet applications. I've never wanted a gadget so badly in my life. It's bizarre, to tell you the truth. I don't know what about it has got me so hot to trot. But it has, oh, it has. Strangely enough, I do not want an iPad. I saw one at Best Buy (which I must add is a store where I never shop and never will again after they screwed me over with one of their pay interest-free bullshit plans, but I digress) and there was nothing about it that made me want it. It's too big to carry around in your purse, which is a key purchase consideration for me. If I can't carry it around in my purse, it's basically useless to me. So, if anyone out there is thinking they'd like to do something super swell for me just because, well wink, wink.

Podcast episode 36

2010-04-02T16:17:00.001-04:00

My boo and I review About Last Night. We originally filmed it for our gone-too-soon webshow, but wanted to share the review with you regardless. It'll make you laugh. I promise. Listen. It'll make you feel good.

I will break you.

2010-03-25T15:39:00.000-04:00

Went skating last night with a few of the other gals interested in doing roller derby. I made the mistake of taking my daughter, who had a miserable time, which then forced me to leave early so she could escape the boredom of watching grown women try to figure out how to keep from falling on their asses every two seconds. Other than that, it was not too bad a time and I even broke a sweat. This isn't too surprising, though, because I break a sweat the moment I begin to do anything physical. Don't know why, just another one of my unfortunate quirks. I did do better than I expected considering I haven't skated since I was a teenager, which was a very long time ago. So, it looks like I'll be continuing on with this new adventure for now.

Speaking of adventures, I'm going to my first ever drag show tonight. I'm kind of excited about it. I just hope it's good. I'm a little bit afraid it won't be real drag queens, just some hairy men wearing their mother's housecoat. That would be incredibly unfortunate.

Life's just a big old party, ain't it?

2010-03-20T16:53:00.000-04:00

Man, coming to the end of a very busy few weeks. Today and tomorrow are the last shows in the Little Shop of Horrors run and then it's on to a little bit of down time. I originally thought I'd try out for another show that I'd like to do right away, but I think my daughter's been missing me a bit lately, so I'm going to take a bit of a break and catch up with her. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to keep the pots going in the meantime. I want to get into planning and brainstorming for the new webshow idea I've got bubbling. Also, one of my friends is working with another girl to try and organize a roller derby team, which I'm all over if it happens. I've even got a name already. At any rate, there's still a lot I want to jump into even if I'm not performing. I figure I'll have plenty of time to sleep when I'm dead.

Podcast episode 35

2010-03-13T11:24:00.002-05:00

What do you get when you mix the cast and crew of Little Shop of Horrors with the karaoke bar? Complete awesomeness, that's what. Listen to how awesome.

Slap Hands

2010-03-10T16:14:00.003-05:00

It all kind of speaks for itself, now doesn't it?

Time to catch one breath.

2010-03-08T21:07:00.000-05:00

We're on a two-day break from the show until we start up this week's run on Wednesday. Once we start back up, we only get one day off until the show ends on March 21. It's all good, though. I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't absolutely love it. The show is going OK so far. We had some sound problems the first couple of days, but I think they were able to level out the mics on Sunday, so it will hopefully be smooth sailing from here on out. As it is, I've already got another webshow idea percolating in the old noggin. I'm hoping to get at least one episode off with the people I'd like to do it with. If we can manage that much, it's a good thing. I don't want to talk about it too much, though, because I'd like to get things more concrete before I get too carried away with it. At any rate, I'm going to just keep my fingers crossed that we don't run into any "complications" this time around. Here's a picture of me and my friend from the show. We're renaming it The Little Shop of Whores.

All good things must come to an end. Sigh.

2010-03-04T14:00:00.000-05:00

Just a video goodbye to everyone who watched and laughed during the short time we were around.

Well, this just sucks.

2010-03-03T13:25:00.000-05:00

Due to an incredibly unfortunate set of circumstances, my friend and I have had to pull the plug on KC & Sunshine Boy. Without getting into too much detail that is not mine to openly broadcast, Sunshine Boy has to bow out of the show. I am supremely bummed out about this turn of events. We were having such a good time, and I think we were making people laugh. Maybe I'm deluded in thinking that, but at least we were making ourselves laugh, and that was okay with me. I'd like to think that I'll be able to team up with someone else to continue with some sort of show, but coming up with the idea to do KC & Sunshine Boy with my friend was kind of a serendipitous moment, and those don't come along too often. But, I will not give up the ghost. You just never know who or what will cross your path. I sort of feel like crying right now, but it's not the sort of behavior I normally allow myself to succumb to and it doesn't really change anything. So until KC can walk again, I bid adieu to one hell of a good time that ended way too soon.

Daddy don't like it.

2010-02-28T09:54:00.000-05:00

I got a call yesterday from my father and the first thing he said when I got on the phone was, "Can we talk about KC & Sunshine Boy?" I laughed and told him we could but that I was going to keep doing it. He said he figured that would be the case, but he had to say what he had to say. I knew my dad wouldn't like the content of the videos I'd put up, but I also know that the show is going to be more than the little snippets we've been putting up. I know it's probably easy for people to assume from watching the previews that the show is just going to be all about sex, but it's not. It really is meant to be a humorous talk show with some filmed sketch comedy segments thrown in to augment the episode's theme. Our first show's theme is "Helpful Sex Tips When You First Start Staying Over."

My dad basically asked me to stop doing sex stuff, and I can understand his discomfort. He's worried that people connected to my daughter will get a wind of it and harass her in some way. The truth is, that's the main reason why I try not to connect my name with show. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about what I'm doing in the least, and if I didn't have to worry about my daughter, I'd be pretty open with claiming it. I'm really not the sort of person who tries to hide who I am, but my daughter has no control over what I do, so she shouldn't be put at risk of being criticized for my decisions.

My father and I didn't get into an argument or anything, and I completely understand his need to tell me he wished I would go about doing the show in a different way, but I think what my friend and I are doing is hysterical and funny and I'll keep doing it until I think otherwise. KC really is just a character to me, in the same way as any character I portray on stage. She's just a character that I put on the internet. I guess it would be nice if people could understand more easily that she might possess elements of me, but she's not me.

As it turns out, my friend had a similar conversation with his mother. I'm taking it to mean we must be doing something right.

KC & Sunshine Boy preview 5

2010-02-25T19:09:00.002-05:00

We share our insights on many issues.

KC & Sunshine Boy preview #4

2010-02-20T00:33:00.002-05:00

The latest look into the excitement and wonder that are KC & Sunshine Boy. Don't hate us because we're beautiful.

This much fun should probably be illegal.

2010-02-18T20:38:00.000-05:00

As I'm sure you can tell from my last few posts, my friend and I are well in the thick of filming the first episode of our webshow KC & Sunshine Boy. To say we're having a blast just doesn't do justice to the crazy amount of fun we're having doing this. I've been wanting to do something like this for such a long time, I can't even tell you how long because I can't remember a time before wanting to do it. We've had three filming sessions to date and even ventured out last night to do a little "location" shooting at Wal-Mart. Here are a few stills from the footage we shot last night.

Doesn't it look like we had fun? You know why? Because we did. I'm hoping to put together another preview video this weekend with what we got. I bet you guys can't WAIT. Can you? Yeah, I hear ya. Longing is a terrible, terrible thing.

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T19:43:00.002-05:00

Here's our special Valentine's Day wish for you.

Here's another preview. Here's another preview.

2010-02-09T13:25:00.002-05:00

We're still crazy. We're still hungry. But we're not naked. Watch. It'll be good for you. I'm a mom. I know these things.

KC & the Sunshine Boy are here…almost

2010-02-07T20:20:00.003-05:00

Here's a preview of the awesome show my friend Brian and I are working on. Let us know what you think of what you see.

Dilemma

2010-02-04T11:48:00.000-05:00

So my friend Brian and I are hoping to get together this weekend to start filming some of our web show. We're only planning on shooting what we can do ourselves, but there's other stuff we want to do that will require a third party to film us. A couple of weeks ago I sent an email to a guy I've met a few times who owns professional quality cameras and shoots stuff a lot. He never returned my message and I'm kind of bummed about it because I'd really like to get someone who knows at least a little something about the best way to frame a shot and lighting and those sorts of technical things. We've got friends that have said they're willing to shoot us when we need it, but they don't know anymore than we do. But I also wonder why this other guy never returned my message. I told him it was cool if he couldn't do it or didn't want to. You'd think common courtesy would dictate he'd at least respond. Oh, well. I suppose we'll figure it out somehow. As they say, when there's a will, there's a way. Maybe I'll just drive by this guy's house, throw a sack over his head, and take him to a remote location where he'll be forced to film us. Yeah, I think I'm kinda liking that idea. See. I just need to have a little more faith in my problem-solving skills. It all comes around eventually.

Let's get physical.

2010-02-02T19:02:00.000-05:00

My brother gave me Wii Active for Christmas. I've been using it for a couple of weeks now and, overall, I like it pretty well. I like the preset workouts and I'm sweating at the end of a workout. However, I can already tell I'm starting to get bored with some of the workouts. It seems like the game repeats a lot of the same exercises and doesn't present anything significantly new. I do the game several times and week, and it's given a nice change to just doing the elliptical all the time, as I've done in the past. The main thing I wish I could do with it, that I haven't been able to see if I can, is alter the preset workouts. I like to work out a minimum of 30 minutes and a lot of the presets don't go that long, which kind of limits which work outs I choose. If I do pick one that's under half an hour, I do something like a Bender Ball workout afterward to push it up to at least 30 minutes, but I wish I could just add more exercises to what the game already has. The other thing that was kind of a bummer for me is the resistance band that came with the game wasn't very hard. It didn't provide enough resistance for me, so I switched it out for a Thera-band I had from physical therapy when I blew out my ACL. Now, it's fine, but I was just lucky to have something more powerful. I think I'm going to get the supplemental workout game. I also wish it had longer cardio routines. I'm realizing the longer I type, the more it sounds like I don't like it, but I do. I really do. You should check it out.

iPad, iSchmad

2010-01-28T12:05:00.000-05:00

So everybody is talking about this iPad thing, which is good for Apple I suppose. But I'm still not entirely sure what the big deal is. I looked online a little to try and figure out what's so awesome, but it just kind of strikes me as being a larger iPhone or iPod Touch. Personally, I didn't understand why everyone got so excited about the iPhone, either. I've only recently started wanting an iPod Touch, and that's only because I found out you can hook up to the internet with it. I didn't know that before because I don't keep up on these kind of things. I don't even want it for music stuff. I just want it for internet stuff because I don't want to pay for internet service on my phone. It doesn't seem worth the money to me. I especially don't understand why people race to get these new gadgets as soon as they're available. I don't think it makes any sense to buy something new like that until it's been out at least a year so the manufacturers can iron out any wrinkles. Not to mention the price will go down after it's been on the market a little. Maybe my age is showing.

Is it real or is it Memorex?

2010-01-25T12:42:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I guess some of these are accurate. But, then, some aren't. Guess I don't know myself any better than I did before.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Conflictseeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%

Wealth	\|\|	10%
Dependency	\|\|	10%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Peter pancomplex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Physicalfitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Indie	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

The post that doesn't belong to me.

2010-01-21T09:22:00.000-05:00

@smashadv on Twitter invited me to submit a guest post to his blog Obsessed with Conformity. Anyway, this is what I'm sending him. Enjoy.

I’ve got my book club meeting coming up tonight. It’s the fourth time we’ll be meeting since forming the club a few months ago. It’s also the fourth time I’ve started a book for book club and not finished it. In fact, this time around, I managed to get only 64 pages into the book (Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters), making it the least-read book of them all.

Oh, did I mention I’m the one who suggested we read this book?

I should be frustrated with myself for not being able to finish what I start, but I’m not. I’ve been thinking a lot, though, of why I’m not committing to these books even though I have very sincere intentions of reading everything we choose. I love reading, and I’m always eager to find something new and engaging. I also love talking about books and hearing the many different things that other people got from the very same words I read. As a writer, I find it fascinating to know that what I put on a page can be processed and interpreted so many wildly divergent ways depending solely upon the eyes that see it.

So what’s the problem, right? This should be a no-brainer. But when it gets right down to it, I think the reason I don’t worry too much about finishing a book for book club is because the meetings really aren’t about literature to me. Book club is about the social interaction it provides. We talk about the books, for sure. But it’s squeezed in between a lot of other non-literary discussion. The other women and I discuss the normal sorts of things: home life, kids, work, boyfriends, husbands, etc. And it gives me a sense of wellbeing to know other women out there struggle with the same challenges day-in and day-out that I do. This sort of real life human connection is something I think is becoming a little bit of an anomaly when so much interaction nowadays is via social networking media, to which I wholeheartedly admit being a slave. In fact, it’s all thanks to Twitter that this post even appears here. But there’s something really comforting about being in the company of other people and seeing their reactions and hearing their laughter and touching their hands. I have no intention of abandoning my Twitter, Facebook, Google Wave, Blip, or Formspring accounts anytime soon, but I’m going to remember I can’t get a hug from any of them.

Meanwhile, someone has already suggested Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman for our next book club selection, and I swear, this time, I’m going to finish it come hell or high water. Probably.

I'm so freaking excited I can't stand it.

2010-01-17T15:14:00.000-05:00

So my friend Brian (whose b-day party at Hooter's was a past podcast) and I are going to do a webshow. We met yesterday to start brainstorming and came up with a whole list of episode themes and basically pounded out what kind of structure we'd like for the show. We've picked our first episode theme and we're hoping to get things in place so that we might be able to start shooting something in the next two or three weeks. To say I'm way excited about this project would be a major understatement. I'm as excited about doing this as it's possible for a human to be. Brian and I are equally warped so it's going to be a lot of fun doing this with him despite what the final project turns out to be. Mind you, we're not trying to slap together something shitty, but you never know how people will digest what you give them. We're envisioning a combination of traditional sit-down talk show mixed with some "dramatic reenactments" and interviews. Hopefully people will like what we put together, but even if they don't, this is going to be awesome fun.

The worst kind of news

2010-01-11T21:59:00.000-05:00

We found out yesterday that the grandmother of one of daughter's best friends is basically dying of cancer. It's a very unexpected diagnosis and comes very quickly after his grandmother initially falling ill. My daughter's friend and his mother live with his grandparents, so my daughter knows her well enough from having been over at his house for play dates and sleep overs. It's a sad state of affairs, and they've given her between two weeks to a month. This particular news comes right on the heels of my having learned last week that one of the Whine Sisters (who you might remember from one of my podcasts a few episodes back) died unexpectedly of what's believed to be a heart attack. When I returned home last Saturday from vacation, there was an email waiting from Julia London telling me that Kathleen Givens had died the night before. According to the email, she was sitting next to her husband, made a strange sound, and when he looked at her, she was out and they were never able to revive her. Just like that, in the blink of an eye, she was gone. And while I'd never met Kathleen, I considered her a friend from the years of back and forth I shared with her through the Whine Sisters blog and email. I'm sad about it and feel incredibly torn for her family. How do you cope with a loss that sudden and instantaneous? About a month before all this, I learned on Facebook that an old college friend of mine had passed away over the summer from leukemia. He'd battled it before, but it returned and claimed him in the end. And even though he'd already been gone a few months when I read the news, it still felt like a punch to the gut. He was only about a year older than I am. This is the first time in my life that I've experienced such a sudden round of death among people in my consciousness and it's scary to me. Maybe I've just finally reached an age where I can expect to say goodbye to people more often than I say hello. I feel like I've been seeing too many people leave regardless of death and it hurts my heart. All I know is that it sucks and I'm not ready to be in that stage of life no how, no way.

Another random IM conversation with my brother

2010-01-08T09:59:00.000-05:00

What in the flipping hell?

2010-01-06T11:20:00.000-05:00

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

If you followed the link above, this is really the only part that I'm interested in you taking a look at:

This actor may be the last straight man left in Hollywood, but he does have one unusual request that makes us question his past. This one requires one man (him), two partners (in this case both women), and a room temperature traditionally-shaped bottle of Coca-Cola. When he is about to climax into one woman, the other one shakes up the bottle of Coke and shoves it up his bum. The objective is to have two explosions at once. Given his screen history, we’re guessing that this actor rather likes big explosions. And, given his bedroom history, we’re guessing that neither of these women is his wife. (Blind Gossip)

I highly respect this Coke fucker for using Coca-Cola instead of Pepsi. I don't mean to offend any Pepsi lovers out there (Yes, I do), but personally I wouldn't let my asshole drink Pepsi even if it had cotton mouth in a bad way, which it usually does. I give it Pedialyte when that happens. Anyway, my guesses are Charlie Sheen or Josh Duhamel? —Michael K

What in the name of all that is holy is wrong with Hollywood people? Seriously. How do you even come up with the idea of shoving shaken up soda up your ass as you come? Of all the bizarre sexual things I've imagined (and there's a long list), incorporating an explosive bottle of Coke just isn't one of them. This makes me not want to even contemplate what some sick fuck out there would do with a slab of maggot-ridden steak. Mmm, mmm, mmm. There's just all kinds of crazy up in here.

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Podcast episode 34

2010-01-04T14:14:00.001-05:00

My wubby Ed came home for a visit. We all got together at our local Irish pub to drink and bask in the glow of his presence. I also use the opportunity to expound upon why I should be Oprah's replacement.

Rude Awakening

2009-12-31T18:14:00.000-05:00

So I'm at the gym today on my elliptical pumping away, feeling energized, strong and (I'm not too ashamed to admit) a little smug. I'm 40, pushing hard and feeling good. Anyway, as I'm up there doing my thang, I look in the mirror at the front of the room and notice the faces of the women around me and it dawns on me they're all old. At least, I think they're all old because they look old to me because they're all haggard and worn out looking. So at first I'm thinking, "What the hell, am I in the old lady section? Am I on the whimpy machines?" Because I was feeling pretty good about myself. I didn't want to think I had to use the geriatric ellipticals to get a work-out. But then I look at the faces again and I realize they're all my contemporaries. They're all women who are probably in their 40's, just like me and it's kind of a sobering experience because, you know, I originally thought they were all old. So all of a sudden I'm feeling a little like the air's been let out of me because it's sort of the first time I've really felt like some kind of middle-aged person. I am Cougar. I am powerful. I don't want to be some worn out looking middle-aged wife and mother who gets excited when she finds a new recipe for meatloaf. Then I notice we're all watching the television that has Kathy Lee Gifford on it and we're all kind of into it, and off in the distance I hear the faint pounding of nails being driven into a coffin. Sad. Seriously, what the hell happened to my life?

My year according to Facebook

2009-12-20T09:44:00.002-05:00

I made this on Facebook and it made me laugh, so now I'm making you read it. Deal.

I. Can't. Quit. You.

2009-12-19T23:54:00.000-05:00

I can't decide if my addiction to Twitter is starting to get out of hand or not. I spend a lot of time thinking about tweeting. I added texting to my cell service specifically because I wanted to be able to tweet from anywhere. Because, brah, you NEVER know when something hysterical is going to happen, and God forbid you can't tweet about it when it does. I'd lived without texting for, well, forever until I started tweeting. I'll admit I actually do just text people now, too, but I was happy without it before. But the other funny thing about Twitter is that I'm starting to feel pressure to try and be funny with everything I say. What started out as something fun has now become a small source of stress in my life. That's crazy, right? Now when I'm on Twitter, I almost feel like I'm onstage. Most of the time, I really do just tweet what enters my mind at that particular moment. But I definitely find myself looking at situations in life for their tweeting potential. Is this something good enough to tweet? Or, how can I tweak this so it's good enough to tweet about? It's CRAZINESS, I tell you. But even as I type all this, I have absolutely no plans to quit Twitter anytime soon. I need it, man. I really, really do.

Thank God that's over.

2009-12-15T20:41:00.000-05:00

Just finished my Christmas letter. Thank you sweet baby Jesus. You know, this is one of those funny little things about Christmas that I mentioned in an earlier post, one of those things that I'm supposed to do that makes everything during this time of year way more complicated than it needs to be. Granted, it's self-imposed, but it gets harder each year to pump that baby out. Admittedly, I do write pretty awesome Christmas letters, and I'm not just saying that because it's the sort of thing I'd normally say about myself. Seriously, people camp outside their mail boxes every year awaiting the arrival of my Christmas letter. It's that good. But the thing about being great is that you can only sustain it for so long, people. My light can't shine bright in the sky forever. One day, as sad as it is to contemplate, my big ole hot ball of gas is going to burn out. It's the way of things. But that time ain't now, so I'm still a SUPERSTAR. And, yes, I did just finish drinking a couple glasses of wine. Why do you ask?

Eh, I tried.

2009-12-12T22:27:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday, I go in for my annual "woman's" exam. Oh, joy. It's something I really look forward to all year because there's nothing quite like the feel of cold, hard stainless steel prying you open like an over-zealous rescue worker with the jaws o' life. At any rate, that's Tuesday, and I've decided I'm going to ask my doctor about going back on some kind of anti-depressant. As you might remember, I went off them over the summer because of blood pressure problems I was having. I thought I might like to give "clean" living a try, and I've pretty much decided it sucks. It's funny experiencing the sort of irrational moodiness and anger I've been feeling again since going off in July. You know, I really forgot what it was like before. I really forgot how I'd know my reactions and responses weren't logical while not being able to do otherwise. But I find my main reason for wanting to go back on is the same as it was the first time around: my daughter. I don't want her to ever think she's responsible for my sadness or anger. And even though I'm not having rash outbursts or anything, I definitely feel like I carry a certain pall around nowadays, and I've no desire to live in darkness. Besides, I got so good at pill-popping the last seven years, it seems a shame to waste all that skill.

On the waiting

2009-12-09T11:29:00.000-05:00

I'm solidly a year into my mid-life crisis and I'm not really seeing an end to it any time soon. Good or bad? I don't know. What I do know is I'm not the only woman of a certain age afflicted by this particular lament. In talking to other female friends, I've determined we're all pretty much bogged down with thoughts of our lives passing by us too quickly to grab. Our days are packed with jobs, kids, family obligations, housework, carpools, you name it, and we're all freaked out that we're losing ourselves. I've got it easier than most because I have only one child and she's old enough to start being responsible for some of herself now, which frees up some of my time to pursue things that interest me--namely theatre. But despite that, I still have this nagging sense that I'm really only in a waiting pattern, and I've got all these other things outside myself that I've got to see through before I can jump into my life. I don't want to come across as complaining because I wouldn't have done many of the things that have brought me to where I am today much differently, but waiting isn't a strong suit of mine. I suppose I just wish it was possible to put as much energy as I'd like into everything I'm interested in doing without having to sacrifice anything. And in a similar vein, it should would be swell to win the lottery. Ka-ching.

The most wonderful time of the year

2009-12-02T22:01:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here typing this because I'm bored right now and I couldn't think of anything else to do. I was watching Pirate Radio until I turned off my browser to switch to a different one without thinking I'd shut off the movie. I didn't feel compelled to get back to it, so that should tell you how engaged I was with that particular film. At any rate, we're talking about Christmas, aren't we? It's funny to me how quickly Christmas comes up now that I'm an adult. I just remember thinking it used to seem like FOREVER getting to Christmas. There just never seems to be enough time to do all the stuff I'd like to do. Eh, scratch that, to do the all the stuff I'm supposed to do. I've honestly lost any desire to decorate for the holidays or bake my ass off or run around shopping every second of the day. Most of it seems fairly meaningless to me. Even now, I'm only waiting to see if my daughter mentions putting up the Christmas tree before I actually do it. We'll be going to my parents' house this year, so I feel like there's not much point in doing it. Am I turning into a Scrooge? I hope not. I do consider Christmas my favorite holiday, but I'm more interested in spending time with my family than busting a nut trying to do it Martha Stewart style.

Gobble, gobble

2009-11-26T05:53:00.000-05:00

Hey. It's 5:30 a.m., Thanksgiving, and I'm awake. I don't want to be awake, but I am. I'd probably still be asleep if my husband hadn't woken up an hour ago and screamed like a little girl while I was leaning over him to check the clock. Apparently, I startled him. At any rate, his screaming like a bitch switched the receptors in my brain from dim to fully lit, which brings us to this very moment. We'll be going over to our friends' house to eat today, but I've got a turkey thawing in the sink to cook later. We normally have Thanksgiving someplace other than home and I didn't use to make a turkey when we didn't stay here, but then I started realizing how much it sucks not having leftover turkey. And, obviously, me trying to blog in the wee hours of the morning doesn't make for very scintillating prose. Ah, well, I suppose I can't always be interesting.

I just sent a note to a friend of mine who's working as a contractor in the Middle East, and I'm wondering if he'll get any turkey today. Mind you, it doesn't sound like they're too badly set up as far as food goes with some of the stuff he's told me they get in the mess hall, but there are some things that are nice to be able to take for granted, like a nice turkey on Thanksgiving. Lobster is nice, but--you know--it's just not the same. So to all of you who are away from family and home, I hope you get good and stuffed on what you love best.

Little bit of a breather before heading off again.

2009-11-14T17:08:00.000-05:00

So I've got approximately 15 minutes to kill before I've got to start getting stuff together for this trivia night thing the family is doing tonight. It's a fundraiser at our church for a sister parish in India. I haven't been to a trivia night in awhile, but I like them a lot. Mainly because it's one of the few times I can show off all the meaningless and useless shit crammed into my head. Normally, there aren't many appropriate opportunities for me to tell people that Lauren Bacall was only 19 when she fell in love with Humphrey Bogart (who was 45 at the time). The only bummer about the evening is that it's a sans alcohol event because it's a "family" trivia night, meaning kids will be there. In the past, I've only gone to adults-only events, which are usually BYOB. At any rate, this is a sad thing because the only thing better than sharing my useless knowledge with the world is doing so while slightly intoxicated. Regardless, I'm sure it will be a really good time. I'm taking hot wings. Are you jealous? Um, yeah, I'm sure you are because hot wings rock. I love me some buffalo sauce. I think Jones Soda should try and make a buffalo sauce soda. They put out all those other weird ones, I betcha a buffalo sauce flavored soda would make, like, ten million dollars. No lie.

Just checking in

2009-10-23T11:35:00.000-04:00

Hey. Have you missed me? Yeah, I understand. Elephant Man opens tonight and runs for two weeks, so that's been taking up most of my time lately. It seems like we've been rehearsing this thing forever, so it's good to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. One of my cast mates will be baring it all for the scene where Mrs. Kendal disrobes for John Merrick. Well, not all, just her boobs, which is still a lot in my book. We talked about it last night at rehearsal and I told her I just wouldn't have the guts to do it. I'd make sure I had something covering my nipples like those silicone push-up things that stick to your tits so you don't have to wear a bra. Actually, I'd put big ole googly eyes on my nipples. But I definitely would not go nude. While I'm not frightened of doing most things that would draw attention to myself from the curious, I'm not an exhibitionist. The thought of being seen naked by strangers completely freaks me the hell out.

Daily affirmation

2009-10-02T09:42:00.000-04:00

I am all that and a bag of chips. I know it. You know it. That's why you're afraid of me.

Glitter Graphics

Podcast episode 33

2009-09-25T12:17:00.000-04:00

Went to Hooters last night for the first time to celebrate my friend Brian's 27th birthday. Lucky for you, I had my digital recorder with me to tape the madness that ensued--six minutes of madness, anyway. As always, it's raunchy and completely inappropriate, but that's why you guys love it, isn't it?

I still exist, at least in my own mind.

2009-09-21T09:07:00.002-04:00

Just checking in with you for my once monthly (or less frequent) post. I've been busy with rehearsals for another show, which is always très sweet for me. Heading to the Michigan Renaissance Festival this weekend, and I am so going to get my roasted turkey leg on while we're there. This will be the first Renaissance fest for my daughter, and to say she's a little bit excited about it would be a MAJOR understatement. We'd originally planned on taking her to the Maryland Renaissance Festival over Labor Day weekend when I went to see my brother's new baby, but we couldn't take the extra day off it would have required because she had something special going on at school immediately following the holiday. So, the Michigan festival is the compromise. We're going to be going up with a couple of theatre friends of mine. My daughter is particularly fond of one of the women I do a lot of theatre stuff with and asked if she could come along. Being the gracious woman she is, my friend Seyhan agreed and is bringing her mother, as well. In preparation for this momentous event, I've been working on a costume for my daughter to wear because, dude, she HAS to have the proper attire. After going through a bunch of patterns I have, my daughter settled on a cloak, a vest, a billowy blouse, and a sash. She decided she'd wear these black, jersey gauchos she has (which she calls her elf pants because she thinks it's something an elf would wear) to complete her outfit. She also plans on taking a wooden staff she has from taekwondo days. I finished the cloak last week and will be feverishly trying to finish the rest of it this week. We have this week off from rehearsal, so I'm thinking it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I hope.

Me 2.0

2009-08-18T14:05:00.004-04:00

K, so I went to Montana a few weeks ago and had my brother-in-law perform a mini-tummy tuck on me. I'm just about four weeks post-op. I've got to wear compression garments for another four weeks if I can stand it, and I can't exercise for another two weeks. With the type of procedure I had, the surgeon really only removes excess skin beneath the belly button and then stretches the heck out of the remaining skin to reattach at the pubic area. If I had to guess, I'd say the incision is about a foot long. A couple of things I've learned since having the operation is that it sucks recuperating from major surgery and the body takes a long damn time to heal.

Yesterday, I couldn't take it any longer and I got on my elliptical for about 15 minutes. I went very slowly and didn't use my arms. I broke a little bit of a sweat and it felt good. However, soon after exercising, I noticed a dull, throbbing pain at the incision site. You know how kids have to make their own mistakes, even when someone older and wiser tells them a certain course of action is a bad idea? Apparently, I'm still making my own mistakes. So I didn't get on the elliptical today. I'll wait the remaining two weeks, I think.

At any rate, this entire experience has me thinking about vanity and the extremes to which we're willing to go because of it. I had a big ole chunk of skin cut off my body in the name of vanity. That's kind of crazy, when you think about it. I haven't even mentioned yet that I also had two laser treatments on my face while I was in Montana. In plain language, I let someone burn the skin off my face with a laser……twice. I can now say I know what my burning flesh smells like. That's messed up by any stretch of the imagination, and I'm here to tell you I'd do it all again given the chance. Why? I don't know. I mean, I know it's because I didn't want that extra, saggy post-pregnancy skin on my stomach and I want to look younger than my age. But what I don't know is why those things are important to me. Some might say I'm succumbing to societal pressure, which is probably true to a certain extent. But, I'm really not the sort to care too much what society thinks of me. Ultimately, I think I've done these things because I want to appear as young on the outside as I feel on the inside. Still not a very rational reason for undergoing these procedures, but at least I wasn't crazy enough to pay for them. I'll take my self-mutilation for free, thank you.

Podcast #32

2009-07-24T13:12:00.002-04:00

I'm here with my wubby Ed. He's moving to Alaska and leaving me to fend for myself in the wilds of South Bend. Will I survive? Who knows, but listen to our witty banter.

Coming down

2009-07-23T14:10:00.002-04:00

Due to some problems with blood pressure I've been experiencing lately, my doctor is weaning me off my anti-depressant medication. I currently take Cymbalta and my doctor wants to see if it's contributing to the high measurements I've been getting. I've been on Cymbalta about a year and a half, I'd guess, and I was on Celexa about five years or so before that. So, if you do the math, I've been taking meds for depression and anxiety between six and seven years. Before going on medication, I suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life. I only finally started taking drugs when I realized my inability to control my moods might have an adverse effect on my daughter. Children can't understand that a parent yelling at them might not have anything in the world to actually do with them. I know what that's like on the receiving end, and I wasn't going to put her through a similar experience. At any rate, I'm a few days into the weaning process and I'm finding it an interesting experience. I find myself inexplicably confused at moments and then perfectly lucid. I've been experiencing some tingling in my hands and some brief moments of nausea. In fact, right at this moment I am finding it difficult to concentrate on what I'm writing. I can't even remember what prompted me to start typing this post.

I don't feel particularly bad about going off the meds because I've started thinking it might be good to detox anyway. How long should a person really be on drugs? I know it's about chemical imbalances in the brain and I don't feel embarrassed about taking medication, but sometimes I think it would be nice to function at a more organic level. Maybe I'm just curious to see if I'd be able to deal with my depression better now. I'm a little worried I might start having increased appetite because I think medication did control hunger to some extent. I guess I felt I just needed to document somewhere what's happening to me in case I seem really, really off to people for a little while.

How to say good-bye

2009-07-15T10:01:00.003-04:00

A very good friend of mine just accepted a new job in Alaska and will be moving at the end of August. While I am ecstatically happy for him, I am bereft of joy for myself. He'll be making the shift from print journalism to broadcast, which is something he's been wanting to do for awhile. Like I said, I absolutely couldn't be happier for him and he is the sort of person who deserves every last stinking bit of good thing that comes his way. Not to mention, he's worked very, very hard and is very, very good at what he does. He's the sort of journalist I used to dream about being when I was in journalism school. So again, it's hard for me to put into words how proud and happy I feel for him. However, because I love him so much, the thought of him being a country away breaks my heart. What's interesting about this is that I've spent my entire life saying good-bye to people, and I'm very good at it. I can say so long and never look back. It's the sort of thing that comes part and parcel with growing up in a military family. But with Ed, I often find myself on the verge of tears when I think about him leaving. It's made odder still by the fact that modern technology makes it so easy to stay in touch with people in very real and immediate ways. We plan on keeping in touch through Skype and IM, so I could conceivably see him every day after he's left. Ultimately, what makes me think his impending departure so hard for me is that I think that maybe we occasionally meet people who are soul mates of a sort and we only feel complete when we can be with them. I only use the term soul mate for lack of a better term because our relationship is about as platonic as it's possible for a relationship to be. But knowing Ed has opened my mind and heart in more ways than I can count. He is a friend, a confidante, a shoulder, and a brother to me. I think maybe we knew each other in a past life. It's the only explanation I can come up with for how connected I feel to him. So, in the time I have left, I will try to create new memories to add to those I already have and I'll start planning my first trip to Alaska because nothing rocks more than going places you've never been.

Podcast, episode 31

2009-07-09T22:01:00.002-04:00

You thought I'd abandoned you for Twitter, didn't you? Well, I kinda have, but I'll still be stopping by every now and again just to keep you guessing. Here's the latest episode of my podcast. I talk to a special friend I made on Twitter. See, Twitter is for friends. Anywho, give it a listen. As usual, it's worth your time.

It's May, so I should write somethng.

2009-05-23T00:28:00.002-04:00

You know, life is such a strange journey. I'm not saying that because something weird in particular happened to me or anything. I'm just realizing you never know where you'll end up. I think so much lately about life and what I think I'm doing and where I think I'm going, and I don't know any of that any better than I did when I was 20. That's what's so weird about it. You'd think at this age, I'd have gotten smart about some things, but I haven't. It's just as confusing now as it's ever been. Most of the time, I feel like I'm sitting in a room looking out a window and wishing I was outside. I don't say that as a depressing thing, I say it because I'm tired of just looking. People talk about a mid-life crisis like it's a bad thing. I'm starting to wonder how much of mid-life crisis is about realizing you've got to make the most of the time you've got. Granted, some people take it too far, but I feel like I'm done with living my life by other people's rules. That's my mid-life crisis, I guess. I'm not content with standing on the sidelines anymore. I want to feel it and taste it and hold it and press it to my face and breath deeply. I'll worry about the rest of it later.

Of wigmakers and sex talks

2009-04-28T09:26:00.004-04:00

On a two-day break from Rashomon right now. Here's a picture of me in my wigmaker garb.

Don't I look very wigmakeryish? Yeah, I think so, too. At any rate, the show is going really well and we're getting lots of compliments on it, so that's always gratifying. The show closes Sunday and then I am off to Chicago the following weekend for my big birthday celebration with my friend Ann from college. We both turned 40 a couple of weeks ago, so we're going to party like were 20 again. I can't wait.

Switching gears a bit, as I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I've been hooked on Twitter lately. It's been really cool talking with some new and interesting people that I'd never have an opportunity to talk to otherwise. One short discussion I got into with someone was about when it's appropriate to start having the sex talk with your children. I said I don't think it's ever too early and explained how I've been talking to my daughter (who is now 11) since she was four. I basically only waited until I thought she was old enough to have enough awareness of her body to grasp what I was talking about. I started with very simple language and used the words that she associated at the time with her sexual organs.

I also used a book I'd gotten when I was pregnant called A Child is Born by Lennart Nilsson to show her what the male sexual organs looked like so she'd understand that part of the explanation. I didn't get into much detail and just focused on the basics. I let her ask me questions and I told her to come to me anytime she wanted to ask me anything else that she was interested in knowing. From that point, my continuing dialogue with her has been motivated by her follow-up questions. As she's gotten older, I've gone into more detail explaining the biological and physiological processes at work during sex.

In the beginning, I told her sex was something that husbands and wives did together, and I stated it simply without trying to put some extra morality talk on top of that. As she's gotten older and realized that husbands and wives aren't the only people who engage in sex, I've explained that the ideal scenario is that sex takes place between husbands and wives, but that people do have sex when they're not married, but that it's a very personal decision and that sex is absolutely something that should only occur between adults, which means over 18--and that, really, even older than 18 isn't a bad thing.

I've also been very frank with her in explaining that I talk to her about these things because I want her to understand the potential risks she's taking if she was to decide to have sex before she is emotionally and physically ready for it. I told her that as she gets older and moves into high school and starts dating there will come a point where she might feel pressured by a boy or even her friends to have sex and that I want her to have all the information she'll need to make the right decision. I also have explained that she might start hearing things from her friends about sex that don't seem to jibe with the things I've told her and that she should always feel comfortable coming to me to ask me which things are correct and which aren't.

For the most part, I think I've been pretty successful. She still doesn't know everything, (and at this point in her life, she really doesn't need to know EVERYTHING) but I plan to answer any question she throws at me as she gets older. Yes, I plan on talking to her about birth control later on. We're Catholic and she goes to Catholic school and I know the point will come if it hasn't already where she'll be taught the use of artificial birth control is against our religion. I don't plan on telling her that's wrong, but I do plan on explaining to her the different forms of birth control available and the proper way to use them and to explain to her why people choose to use them.

I have been so adamant about her having a good understanding of sex because my first sex ed class took place when I was in 4th grade at age nine and I have never, ever felt that was too early to have learned and I firmly believe having had an understanding before I was old enough to really have to worry about sex in any serious way is what helped me stay sex-free through high school. I am very happy that no matter what, I can truthfully tell her I never had sex as a teen. (And by teen, I really mean high school, because I did have sex in college.)

So if I have any real advice about talking to children about sex, it would be to start early, be as straightforward and honest as you can be about it, and never make them feel stupid or embarrassed to ask you questions. Of the many parenting decisions I've made where I question whether or not I've done the right thing, I have not once felt I've done the wrong thing by opening this conversation with my daughter.

That number is coming from inside the house.

2009-04-06T20:23:00.002-04:00

So I'm home alone for a week. Actually, I was home alone for a week this past Saturday, but now it's Monday, which means I'm really only home alone for another four days or so. Anyway, I'm home alone. My husband took my daughter to visit my parents while she has spring break this week. Every year my husband and I alternate taking off from work to do something with the kid one on one. This week will probably be the closest thing I experience to living by myself. I've never lived by myself, ever. I always had roommates in college, and then after graduation I moved back home and then when I got engaged, my husband and I moved in together. I never thought living alone was something I wanted to do. I'm a people person and the idea of being all by myself for extended periods of time has always kind of freaked me out. So far, it's not been too bad, but a lot of that is due to the fact that I'm pretty busy. I've got work and I'm in another play, so I just don't have a lot of time on my hands. Even now that I'm home from rehearsal, I'm only taking a little break before I start doing some cleaning.

At any rate, even though I've never assumed living alone is something I'd ever want to do, I sure do like the feeling of not having to take other people into consideration as far as my activities are concerned. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm wishing away my family or anything, but it's nice knowing I can work out as long as I want at the gym because I don't have to worry about picking up my daughter. And it's nice knowing I can run around with friends and not have to worry about whether or not I've been out too late and am expected home. It's obviously a completely self-absorbed existence, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I'm scratching my head a little in confusion, not because I have lice.

2009-03-31T09:02:00.004-04:00

You know, I post very rarely now due to several reasons I've already mentioned. And even when I did post regularly, I never got many comments. So imagine my confusion when I see that my last post has garnered several comments in the span of a couple of days. I guess part of it is due to the fact that people obviously have strong feelings about Expelled and/or the question of intelligent design vs. Darwinsim. I'm just curious how those people ended up reading my post. Not that I mind. That's why I blog. I like sharing my thoughts with the big wide world because I'm vain and think everyone else will find my opinions as engaging as I find them. It's also why I podcast. I think my conversations are hilarious, ergo others will find my conversations hilarious. At any rate, getting back to the issue at hand—I like comments and welcome them, I just wonder where they're coming from all of a sudden.

Can't we just get along?

2009-03-29T14:04:00.002-04:00

I just finished watching Ben Stein's Expelled, his documentary investigating the established scientific community's resistance (and perhaps active attempts to squash) to considering intelligent design as a possible explanation for the beginning of life. At its heart, the film focuses on a troubling trend within American academic/scientific circles to exclude lines of questioning that fall outside the accepted evolutionary (Darwinism) paradigm. The film presents several established scientists who have been ostracized for daring to mention or include intelligent design within the broader scholarship on evolution and human origin.

Stein also interviews scientists who eschew intelligent design as a valid line of investigation within serious scientific work. In all, I think Stein does an excellent job of warning the viewing audience of the inherent dangers of allowing a societal silencing of ideas that exist outside the accepted norm. When the film first came out, I read reviews of it which included those that said Stein was trying to make hysterical connections between Darwinism and Eugenics, such as the attempted genocide during WWII. I didn't find his presentation hysterical. I found it fairly balanced. Of course, the argument can always be made that we'll never know what sort of comments were left on the cutting room floor, but I didn't come away from the film thinking Stein was trying to say Darwinism was wrong and that people who believed in evolution were ignorant. I came away thinking he is frightened of current events that seem to be stepping on one's freedom of speech in this country and wants to bring light to a problem that the average American might not be aware of.

Having spent the last 12 years of my life working in an academic environment, I have witnessed what Stein speaks of in the film. Academics, in my experience, are probably some of the most rabidly closed-minded people I've encountered in my life. Don't get me wrong, there are many who are very open to the idea of differing opinions, but those who are not scare the living shit out of me because they've got an institutional support that allows them to justify their closed-mindedness as truth.

Let me say that I don't view evolution and creation as mutually exclusive. In many ways, I consider evolution to be creation. Evolution is perhaps, in my mind, our human attempt to understand what God created. I'm not a literalist as far as the Bible is concerned. It's not essential to me to think what is written is exactly how it happened. The world was created in six days. What the hell is six days to God? Everyday I see things and experience things that make me think it can't be an accident, this life that exists. But, I don't automatically think atheists are ignorant people. I think whatever events of their lives brought them to their beliefs are just as valid as the events that have brought me to believe in God. All I ask is for the same respect.

At any rate, this has all been a really rambling and disconnected attempt to say I liked the film and I think everyone can benefit from watching it.

Happy Friday the 13th. Hope you don't trip over a rock, have a donkey kick you in the butt as you get up.

2009-03-13T12:40:00.002-04:00

Guess what I just learned. There's a limit on how much you can type into the title field. Did not know that. It's almost like Twitter. Speaking of Twitter, that's where I am most days now. You may have guessed by the dearth of posting going on here. As you can see, I've placed a Twitter scroll of my tweets off to the right. You may have noticed that has seen a lot of action lately. I'm only posting now because I don't want my blog to know I'm cheating on it. This is like a mercy fuck. I don't want to get rid of the old blog. It's been good and faithful, but I cannot resist the minimalist allure of micro-blogging on Twitter. Basically, I want my cake and I want to cram fistfuls of it down my throat.

Twitter is so easy because I can just type in any random though that pops into my head. I use a couple of desktop apps to keep track of the people I'm following while I work. If it wasn't for that, I probably wouldn't be as addicted to it as I am. If I had to log in every time I had a thought, I probably wouldn't do it. But TweetDesk and DestroyTwitter just make it so easy to dash off something before I've even realized I've done it. Really, who could ask for more?

Podcast #30

2009-02-26T08:47:00.002-05:00

Here I am with the trifecta of romance writing: Julia London, Kathleen Givens and Sherri Browning Erwin. Otherwise known as The Whine Sisters, these three ladies are as full of good humor as they are euphemisms for penis, which is a lot.

Just because I'm bored and not feeling very motivated today

2009-02-25T08:54:00.002-05:00

These are apparently the celebrities I look like. I don't know if I agree. I have to confess I don't even know who half the people on this collage are.

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family tree layout - Old photos

Podcast #29

2009-02-11T08:49:00.002-05:00

Here's the latest episode of the old podcast for your listening pleasure. I discuss stupid boys and their stupid boy ways with their stupid boy brains. I'm also rocking a new theme song courtesy of a very talented Miss Ellie Eastman.

Podcast #28

2009-01-16T22:38:00.001-05:00

I continue my conversation with Vincent Bilancio, newly informed by my recent viewing of Werewolf in a Women's Prison.

Another random IM conversation with my brother

2009-01-13T10:36:00.005-05:00

Podcast #27

2009-01-10T02:22:00.004-05:00

I speak with special guest Vincent Bilancio. He shares his experiences in the trenches of independent movie making, and gives us an insider view of such cinematic masterpieces as Werewolf in a Women's Prison and Blood Gnome.

Well, that took two forevers.

2008-12-22T23:46:00.003-05:00

I just finished addressing all my Christmas cards and I really think my daughter gestated for less time than it took me to get those suckers ready. Seriously, it took hella long. And I didn't even write out the addresses or anything. I printed up labels, so all I was doing was stuffing, licking, and sticking. Anyway, it's done now so I don't have to worry about it for another year. In general, I haven't had much time to think about Christmasy sort of things this year. Between work, my daughter's schedule and theatre stuff, Christmas has ended up a kind of afterthought. I have to say I don't mind entirely. If it weren't for my daughter, I don't think I'd even bother with things like putting up a Christmas tree or baking cookies or any of the rest of it. Not because I'm going all Scrooge or anything, but just because it seems pretty pointless in the larger scheme of things. I just find it interesting how much pressure we put on ourselves as a society around the holidays. I have to assume most of it is for the kids, to try and give them something special, but why we suddenly think it's so important to hang lights everywhere and bake and cook ourselves senseless is escaping me the older I get. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas, and I love seeing my daughter's excitement. I guess I just wish it came with less ceremony.

20 Things

2008-12-12T09:12:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine tagged me on Facebook yesterday with this list. You're supposed to list 16 random things about yourself and then tag another 16 friends to get their list, and so on, and so on. Since I went to the trouble of making a list, I figured I may as well post it here. Although, I turned it into 20 things because I think 16 is a weird number for a list. If you feel so inclined, pass your own list on to your friends.

1. I still think I'm going to be famous one day.

2. I can tie a cherry stem into a knot using my tongue.

3. I'd love to be the singer in a rock band.

4. I like comfortable shoes.

5. Wish I could figure out a way to get my daughter to eat a wider variety of healthy foods.

6. I have one tattoo, and have been giving a lot of thought lately to getting a second.

7. Think my brother is the funniest person I know.

8. If I ever won the lottery, the only splurge items I'd really be interested in getting would be to hire a personal trainer who'd make me exercise every day and a cook who would only make healthy meals so I wouldn't have to think about food anymore. I really hate thinking about food. If they could make a meal pill like in The Jetsons where you'd get all your nutrition and not feel hungry, I'd be totally cool with that.

9. Wish I could be with my parents and siblings more often.

10. I hate country music. I pretty much think it sucks and listening to it hurts my ears. Ditto on opera.

11. I daydream all the time. I mean ALL THE TIME. I'm daydreaming right now.

12. I really am a mega-bitch, and I don't feel even a little bit bad about it.

13. I want to have my own talk show.

14. I'm pretty sure I'm spending a long time in Purgatory.

15. I like pushing people's buttons just to see what they'll do.

16. I've got a mouth like a sailor. I don't know why I like swearing, but I do.

17. I like dirty jokes and blue humor. In fact, the nastier it is, the longer and harder I'll probably laugh.

18. I like watching surgical procedures on the Health Discovery Channel, or any channel that's showing a surgery in graphic detail, really.

19. I know how to sew, knit and crochet.

20. I have a penis whistle in my purse.

Uh, do you mind?

2008-12-04T23:21:00.002-05:00

OK, explain this one to me. I'm at the gym doing my elliptical when an old guy (which is pretty much the only kind of guy I see exercising in the faculty work out room) gets on the machine next to me. Mind you, there are several other empty ellipticals that are not right next to me, but he doesn't pick one of those. Anyway, old man gets on the elliptical next to me and starts ellipticaling like mad. He's pumping his veiny, saggy-skinned legs as fast as his can and working up a good sweat. A sweat, I should point out, that is not lacking in a very malodorous bouquet. But it is the gym, so it kind of comes with the territory. So I continue on with my workout when I am suddenly assaulted by a very unsweaty kind of stench. And, yes, it's a fart. At least, it's the only thing I can assume it is because it smells like a fart. I didn't hear anything, so it was of the silent but deadly variety, but it smelled like rotten ass, which, of course, makes sense. At any rate, I'm trying to continue exercising while trying to hold my breath a bit at the same time until the odor fades. This isn't as easy as it sounds because, you know, I'm exercising. My body is requiring more than it's normal amount of oxygen to keep exercising, and I absolutely was not going to breath through my mouth to supply the extra oxygen. I mean, it's one thing to smell some old guy's rotten ass fart, but I'm sure as hell not going to taste that shit. Which is why I never understand when people start breathing through their mouths when they smell something bad. There are taste buds in your mouth and they taste. Why would anyone want a mouthful of fart? I don't get it.

At any rate, the fart fades enough for me to start breathing normally again, and I'm going along doing my thing on the elliptical. Not too much longer, I smell another fart. So, of course, I'm pissed. I mean, come on. How am I supposed to keep exercising when some pasty geezer keeps breaking wind next to me? Plus, it's just rude. After way too much time, the old guy gets off the elliptical and leaves. I'm incredibly relieved and continue on with my own workout. When my husband gets home I tell him the agony I had to endure and he tells me that men can't help it. He tells me men can't hold in their farts, which I tell him is bullshit. He swears to me that men can't hold in their farts. Why is it women can hold in their farts, then? Seriously. I think men just don't want to hold in their farts because they don't give a damn if they sicken people with their stink. The only thing I'm saying is if that is the truth and you men know it, don't fucking get on the elliptical next to me, then. Is that really to much to ask?

Podcast #26

2008-12-02T12:39:00.000-05:00

The girls and I discuss a recent sex toy party we attended.

KC goes to a Supernatural convention

2008-11-26T21:49:00.003-05:00

So, I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I was going to a Supernatural convention to see Jared and Jensen, the two guys who star in the show. Well, I did that and it was...interesting. I was able to get a ticket into the convention, which did a lot to help me enjoy my weekend. And I had a really good time. My friends and I went out Saturday evening and did a little shopping, had a little dinner (where I scored us a couple of free deserts. A big shout out to Jimmy Park.), enjoyed a few drinks at a nice Irish pub, got kicked out of the piano bar we went to after, and ended the evening back at the hotel bar. All in all, a very enjoyable time.

Before I talk about the convention, I feel like I should explain I've never been to a convention for a television show before. I've seen movies and programs about conventions, like the Star Trek conventions and what not, but I've never been to one. At any rate, I expected this Supernatural convention to be something like what I'd seen on TV of other similar gatherings. Yeah, it wasn't like that. First of all, the attendees were largely female. I'm talking, oh, probably 98% of the people present. There where so many women, I had to really wonder why the men who were there, were there. Maybe they were gay. I don't know, and it really doesn't matter, but they had to feel like outsiders. It was seriously wall-to-wall women. On second thought, maybe the few men were there to score chicks. At any rate, this convention was nothing like conventions I've seen on television. There were only about five tables set up with merchandise, and it was all Supernatural stuff, which I guess makes sense, but you'd think they'd have other stuff. Anyway, we had the "cheap" ($50, thank you very much) seats in the very back of the ballroom, so we never got a really good look at the boys because they just looked too small. Now directly behind the guys was a huge screen that I assumed they would use to project the guys on so that the people in the back could see. Wrong. They just showed some fan-made music video, which was actually pretty good, but WTF. I don't pay $50 for anything for myself and I shelled out cold, hard greenback to be in the same room with Sam and Dean Winchester and the convention organizers didn't even have the common sense to project their appearance onto a huge screen that was already there. And forget about trying to get a decent picture. It just wasn't possible from where I sat. So, I decided to sidle along the wall up a little closer to the stage to get a couple of shots. A lot of other people had the same idea and staff eventually made everyone go back to their seats. I understand not letting everyone crowd along the walls for safety reasons, but I think most people were only interested in getting a couple of somewhat decent pictures before sitting back down.

All in all, I'm glad I went. The boys were funny and charming, and I left liking them even more. I can't imagine I'd have had as much grace as they did answering stupid questions like: Um, what's your favorite color? But believe me, I don't ever, ever have to go to something like that again.

What's it all about?

2008-11-06T09:27:00.007-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about life. It's certainly been prompted somewhat by my uncle's recent suicide, but some things that happened during the course of Dracula (which closed Nov. 2) have got me thinking, too. Added to all this, a woman who was very involved with the theatre and well-loved by many of the other volunteers (I was really only an acquaintance.) passed away recently after having battled cancer for most of the year. She was only 48 and leaves behind a husband and two teenage daughters. At any rate, I find myself thinking a lot about where I've been and where I think I'm going.

For the first time since my daughter was born, I'm starting to feel awake again. Maybe it's because of getting involved with theatre and having that creative outlet. I do know I've started feeling like myself again since I've started up with the acting. Maybe it's because my daughter is getting to an age of more self-sufficiency and I can step back and breathe a bit more and separate myself from her a little. It's probably a combination of those things, really. All I know is that in some ways I feel like I'm standing on a cliff looking over the landscape of my life. Not in a bad way or anything. It's not as if I feel like jumping off the cliff. It's all good. I think I'm at an age where I can see I'm still young enough to experience and accomplish things that I want to, but old enough to know that I better start doing them now because time just goes too quickly and there's no such thing as forever.

One of the things that I'm really determined to do is have more fun. I'm someone who has spent a good portion of my life putting off fun because it didn't seem like the rational or practical thing to do, either because of low funds, or bad timing, or having to get up early, or whatever. I know now I'd rather have the memories. To that end, some friends of mine and I are heading into Chicago tomorrow for a girls weekend. The impetus behind the trip is the Supernatural convention that's being held there. The two stars are appearing on Sunday, so I suggested to that we go in Saturday so that we could go out for the evening and then hit the convention the next day before heading home. However, I foolishly underestimated how many other people would want to see Jared and Jensen and according to the convention website, all general admission tickets are sold out. Rather, they've stopped internet sales and there might be tickets available at the door on a first come, first served basis, but I obviously can't count on being able to get in now. This wouldn't really be a problem in the whole scheme of things if one of our group hadn't had the good sense to order her ticket online some time ago. So she can get in, but I feel bad about her having to go in by herself because what kind of fun is that going to be. So I've contrived to try and figure out where the boys are staying in Chicago so we can accidentally "bump" into them and get a picture.

I've been trying to tap everyone I know in an attempt to orchestrate this encounter. I've got a hotel name, which may or may not be true. I'm about to call up the Chicago Tribune to see if I can get any information out of their entertainment reporter. I'm hoping they'll find the idea of five thirty-something, soccer mom types chasing celebrities through the bars of Chicago amusing enough to throw me a bone. No matter what, I think this hunt adds an extra element of fun to the evening that will hopefully push it into the category of legend. So if you've got any helpful information, please share.

I LOVE the stuff people are willing to put up on the internet.

2008-10-22T11:32:00.000-04:00

I think this clip speaks for itself.

Wow, a night at home.

2008-10-10T20:15:00.004-04:00

K, so check it. It's Friday night and I'm home because there was no rehearsal tonight. It actually feels weird. I was off last Friday, too, and that felt just as weird. Anyway, I'm sitting here drinking a glass of wine (actually, I'm on my second), and I just got off Facebook. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm pretty much hooked on Facebook, mainly because of Scramble, which is like Boggle. I am soooooo addicted to that game. I can't stop playing it. What's been really cool is that over the last week or so a few of my fraternity brothers (I was a little sister in a fraternity) from college have friended me. Talk about a blast from the past. Seriously, a couple of these guys I've had no contact with in close to 20 years. That's one thing about modern technology that I just love, the ability to just reconnect like that. Anyway, reconnecting with some of these guys has got me reminiscing a lot lately. College was hella fun and that's all there is to it. The shame is that you just don't realize at the time how much fun it's going to be in comparison to the rest of your life. I'm not saying my life now isn't fun, it's just that it's not the same kind of free fun that you have in college when you can just let loose and not really worry too much about what happens after that. What I wonder a lot now when I look back on those days is why I thought I had to have so much of life figured out. I should have let myself have more fun back then, not tempered myself so much. I mean, I had fun, but I didn't have, like, crazy, stuff of legends fun, if you know what I mean. The one thing I know is that the older I get, I feel like I really don't want to miss out on a good time if there's a good time to be had. Maybe it's because I realize there are precious few times you can just forget about life for a couple of hours. I don't know. It's probably one of the reasons why I'm so happy to be back doing theatre again. I can be a completely different person where the rules of my life just don't apply anymore. It's a liberating experience in a lot of ways. It's a socially acceptable way to kind of try on new skins and live someone else's life for a little while, but with the safety and security of being able to go back to my own life. Beyond that, I've just met some really cool people in the last couple of years. People I can't imagine at this point not knowing. If you're not a "theatre" person, you won't understand what I'm talking about, but theatre people are just special. They're the only people, outside of my family, among whom I can be completely idiotic around and it's all taken in stride for what it is--just fun. Most people, I think, are too threatened by people not sticking to the status quo. Theatre people, I think, live for the odd, which is awesome.

Dang, it's been awhile.

2008-10-03T23:58:00.002-04:00

I just realized it was the middle of September last time I posted and I can't even say where half a month has gone. It's because I'm doing a play, which always makes time travel at warp speed. In fact, today is the first day in a couple of weeks that I've gotten to just stick around home and I feel like I've been thrown off balance because of it. You know, like when someone presses on the brake when you're not expecting it. I'm a vampire vixen in Dracula, which is turning out to be good fun. I pretty much get my slut on. There are three vixens altogether, and our main job is to sex up Jonathan Harker, which is harder work than one might imagine. But, hey, someone's gotta do the tough jobs.

I told a guy I work with that he should come watch the play, but when I told him what I'm doing in it, he said he doesn't think he'll be able to watch because he'd laugh the entire time. I don't know if I should be offended or not. I mean, seriously, I can do slutty, unholy bride of Dracula. Weirder things have happened.

Because I just really need some laughs in my life right now.

2008-09-19T12:19:00.002-04:00

I don't care what anyone says; Will Ferrell is freaking hysterical.

See more Will Ferrell videos at Funny or Die

Podcast #25

2008-09-16T12:04:00.001-04:00

My latest conversation with a new guest. We talk about gymnastics and make-out sessions.

Sigh

2008-09-08T14:06:00.003-04:00

Well, we're back from DC. We got back yesterday afternoon. The funeral was nice for as far as something like that can be nice, I mean. We arrived at my parents' house Wednesday evening. My sister and parents weren't there as they were still in Baltimore having dinner after having spent the day finalizing funeral arrangements. When they did get home, it didn't take long until we were all arguing with each other over meaningless shit that always turns into yelling match with us. Basically, my mom thought my sister and I were trying to tell her she was wrong for feeling frustrated with my cousins (my uncle's children) because they didn't take any responsibility for helping with arrangements. My mom and aunt kept asking them for input and they wouldn't tell them anything or give them any help so my mom and aunt made the decisions and then when everything was set, my cousin complained about where they'd chosen to hold the viewing and funeral because he thought it was too far out.

At any rate, my sister and I were just telling our mom that she shouldn't be surprised because neither one of our cousins has ever had to be responsible for anything or assumed responsibility for anything as far as their father was concerned. Why expect it from them now? Not that we were excusing their behavior, but just stating that it's on par with how they've been their entire lives. At any rate, she flew off the handle saying we always treat her like she's stupid, and on and on. It didn't take me long to figure she was just spent from all the running around and felt like taking out her frustrations on someone, but when I told her to stop she just kept screaming at us and then I lost it and told her I was I was tired of it and slammed my hand into the table, and then that really set her off. My reaction wasn't the best, but I am really tired of her always trying to turn an argument around by claiming my siblings and I just think she's stupid and we don't have any respect for her, which isn't the case at all, but she doesn't want to believe us when we tell her it's not true and I don't see the point of wasting energy on the same old shit anymore. You can only bang your head into a wall for so long before you realize nothing's happening other than you end up with a headache. Plus, I couldn't believe we were all sitting around yelling at each other considering why we were all there.

Like I said, I know she was tired and sad and wanted to vent, but I'm a cold-hearted bitch and I'm no one's whipping boy. What are you gonna do? Once that business had exhausted itself, we all went to bed for what amounted to a two-hour nap before we had to wake up to get ready to head to Baltimore for the viewing. We had to get on the road at 5 a.m. to beat rush hour traffic so we could be there by 9:00 a.m. The viewing lasted until 1:00, and then we headed to the church for the funeral mass at 2:00. My sister and I did the readings for that, and an honor guard came at the end to present the flag because my uncle had served in the Army when he was young. Everyone lost it when the played Taps. For me, it was more sad because I realized that's how we'll be ending my father's funeral one day. After mass, we all headed to my aunt's house for food and drink. We didn't get back to parents' house until 8:00 or 9:00 that night. I slept until 11:00 the next morning, which I couldn't believe. I really can't remember the last time I slept that long, but we were all so beat.

There was an open casket at the viewing and seeing my uncle was truly wrenching. He shot himself under the chin, so his face wasn't disfigured or anything, but seeing him lie in his coffin was sad beyond words. Knowing a person and then just seeing the shell of them empty of everything that made them the person they were is just a sad, sad thing. At any rate, we're home now, and I guess more than anything being back in the swing of things just shows how life marches along despite everything and all we can do is march along with it.

It's just another day

2008-09-03T05:09:00.002-04:00

It's about 5:00 a.m. and I can't sleep. The clock is set to go off in another hour and then my husband, daughter and I will start getting ready to hit the road to DC to attend my uncle's funeral. My uncle took his life Monday evening. It might be incredibly tacky for me to be writing about this, but I can't help it because I am sadder than I've probably ever been in my life because of this. My Uncle Buck is my father's youngest sibling and for whatever reason, he gave up hope. While I'm heartbroken that he felt he had no other options, I'm mostly torn up by the fact that both my aunt (my father's sister) and my father had to see him lying dead before his body could be taken away.

From what I know, my uncle called my aunt Monday and told her he was going to kill himself. My aunt only lives about seven minutes away from him, but by the time she got to his apartment, he'd already shot himself. She immediately called my father who got there as quickly as he could. He lives about an hour and a half away from them. So they were both present when the coroner came to take away my uncle's body. My sister flew into DC yesterday. Well, really today, because she only arrived around midnight. The funeral is Thursday. The terrible thing about suicide is no one can really know why a person decides that the love they have for all the people in their life just isn't enough to help them want to see the next day. My uncle has been suffering health and emotional problems for a few years now. Are those the reasons he gave up? I don't know. I can only guess that's part of it. All I know is that right now my heart is heavy with sorrow and I can only hope he's finally free of the demons that tormented him. Sleep well, Uncle Buck. I love you.

And now I wait

2008-08-27T13:15:00.002-04:00

Well, auditioned Monday night and I think it went OK. Let's just hope reality matches up. I got to read for both Mina and Lucy, which was good. I also had a good time just seeing some friends who I really only get to see when I'm doing something at the theatre. The director also held auditions last night, so now it's just time to wait, which has never been a strong suit of mine. It's at moments like this that I wish I could read minds. I'm pretty sure one of the qualities that fueled my becoming a journalist is that I just hate not knowing. Seriously, I almost physically cannot stand not knowing whatever it is I want to know. I actually get angry if I can't get information that I want. In fact, I've told my husband that unless he can tell me all the details of any story he starts to tell, don't bother telling me because I'll just get really frustrated if I ask questions and he can't answer because he didn't pay attention closely enough. Anyway, everyone keep their fingers crossed for me. Send out all your positive mental energy. Thanks, peeps.

I vant to suck your blood.

2008-08-23T11:11:00.002-04:00

Monday evening I'm auditioning for Dracula. I really, really, really want to do this play. Obviously, I'm hoping to be cast as Mina or Lucy since those are the two juicy (no pun intended) female roles. Now, both those characters are in their early twenties and, well, I'm not. I'm hoping I can channel my inner-innocent well enough to fake it. I've wanted to do Dracula ever since I was in high school and saw a production at the college in town. I was completely sucked in by it from beginning to end. And of course, I wanted to jump Dracula's bones by the time the curtain fell. I thought about that play for weeks after watching it. I've always been fascinated with vampire legend and myth for, probably, the same reasons most people are drawn to it: themes of sensuality, sexuality, good vs. evil, and immortality. Vampires are interesting in the monster world because most people don't view them as monsters, I think. For sure, Dracula is evil and embraces that; but at the end of the day, he wants companionship. He could just kill all his victims, but he turns some of them so he won't be lonely, which at the end of the day is probably one of the most basic fears of humankind. None of us really wants to be alone, even if we're bloodsuckers.

I got a dress

2008-08-21T09:31:00.005-04:00

OK, so I didn't get any of the four I already showed you. I ended up ordering this one.

It's not as formal as the other dresses I was looking at, but that's OK. I'm sure I'll be able to get more use out of it anyway. So now all I have to worry about is shoes and accessories. Unfortunately, I believe that will require me going to the mall. Shit.

How hard can it be to find a new dress?

2008-08-19T14:00:00.006-04:00

When it comes to me, apparently very hard. I'm reading at a friend's wedding next month, so I've been looking for a new dress. I've been looking on the internet because I find I pretty much hate shopping the older I get. But guess what? It's not any easier on the internet. I've bookmarked a couple of things, but I just can't commit. You'd think with the endless choices available on the internet, it would be relatively easy, but my main problem is that I just can't find a style I'm sold on. I'd like a dress that's modest, yet not a freaking nun's habit. Incredibly, those dresses don't seem to exist. It seems the only dresses being made nowadays are strapless or sleeveless or form-fitting or super-short. None of those things work for me.

These are the four front-runners, but I don't know which one to pick. I think it's really between the third and fourth. I just have to pick one and order it.

Are we just too sensitive?

2008-07-24T12:19:00.003-04:00

Let me start by saying I don't know who Michael Savage is. He's apparently a radio talk show host somewhere, but I've never heard of him. Anyway, this guy stirred up controversy by claiming on his show earlier this month:

In 99 percent of the cases, it’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don’t have a father around to tell them, `Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.

Since then, he's been fired, and parents of autistic children all over the place have been decrying his insensitivity. In response, Savage says he made the statement as a way to shine light on the problem of numerous children being inappropriately and wrongfully diagnosed as autistic.

What I find interesting about this situation and other similar situations where people say stupid things in a public forum (think Don Imus, Jessie Jackson), is how frothing-at-the-mouth crazy people get in response. Is this guy a douche? Probably. Were his comments insensitive? Yeah. Do I care? Not really. Now don't get me wrong. I absolutely think people should voice their opinions and displeasure when something like this happens. But do I really think it's appropriate to see people get fired because they've said something ignorant or unpopular? I'm not so sure. When stuff like this happens, I get nervous because I see it as a chisel that chips away a little bit more at our First Amendment right to freedom of speech. Somewhere in this country, I think we've managed to convince ourselves that if someone says something we don't agree with, then they must be punished and silenced. That's a troubling trend, as far as I'm concerned.

Not as good as I remember

2008-07-15T13:13:00.003-04:00

Yesterday my daughter wasn't feeling well, so I stayed home with her. Anyway, it's been awhile since I've done a decent grocery run, so lunchtime rolls around and I realize there's nothing really quick and easy around the house for me to eat, or that I want to eat, I should say. I'm routing around the deep recesses of my pantry when I come across a can of Chef Boyardee mini-shells and meatballs that never made its way into my daughter's lunch bag during the school year, so I think, "Cool, Chef Boyardee."

When I was younger, I used to really like Beefaroni a lot and, generally speaking, I always liked any Chef Boyardee product well enough while I was growing up. I can't tell you the last time I've eaten Chef Boyardee, though, because I normally think of it as kid food. But I used to always save meatballs for last because they were the best part of the meal, that much I remember. So I dump the can of shells and meatballs into a bowl and nuke it. When it's done, I sprinkle a little parmesan on top and grab a spoon to dig in. After my first mouthful, I realize the meal does not live up to my expectations. I mean, it wasn't good. I ate it because I was hungry, but it was bland and generally not good. Granted, it wasn't beefaroni, which might still be as good as I remember. But how different can the shells and meatballs be in taste from the beefaroni? It can't be that big of a difference. It comes from the same company. How different are they going to make their various pasta and meatballs meals taste? There was also a faint metallic aftertaste to it. Truthfully, I only ate until I didn't feel hungry anymore, and then I pitched the rest.

I have to say it's sad when you start realizing you just don't have a taste anymore for childhood favorites. Like I used to LOVE Captain Crunch cereal. As an adult, it's just not as tasty to me. I'd really rather have my All-Bran bran buds. It's the truth. I mix the bran buds with vanilla yogurt and fresh blueberries. It's trés delicious. Sigh.

Good for what [f]ails ya.

2008-07-03T10:42:00.004-04:00

Scientists: Watermelon yields Viagra-like effects

By BETSY BLANEY, Associated Press Writer

LUBBOCK, Texas - A slice of cool, fresh watermelon is a juicy way to top off a Fourth of July cookout and one that researchers say has effects similar to Viagra — but don't necessarily expect it to keep the fireworks all night long.
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Watermelons contain an ingredient called citrulline that can trigger production of a compound that helps relax the body's blood vessels, similar to what happens when a man takes Viagra, said scientists in Texas, one of the nation's top producers of the seedless variety.

Found in the flesh and rind of watermelons, citrulline reacts with the body's enzymes when consumed in large quantities and is changed into arginine, an amino acid that benefits the heart and the circulatory and immune systems.

"Arginine boosts nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessels, the same basic effect that Viagra has, to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe even prevent it," said Bhimu Patil, a researcher and director of Texas A&M's Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center. "Watermelon may not be as organ-specific as Viagra, but it's a great way to relax blood vessels without any drug side effects."

Todd Wehner, who studies watermelon breeding at North Carolina State University, said anyone taking Viagra shouldn't expect the same result from watermelon.

"It sounds like it would be an effect that would be interesting but not a substitute for any medical treatment," Wehner said.

The nitric oxide can also help with angina, high blood pressure and other cardiovascular problems, according to the study, which was paid for by the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

More citrulline — about 60 percent — is found in watermelon rind than in the flesh, Patil said, but that can vary. But scientists may be able to find ways to boost the concentrations in the flesh, he said.

Citrulline is found in all colors of watermelon and is highest in the yellow-fleshed types, said Penelope Perkins-Veazie, a USDA researcher in Lane, Okla.

She said Patil's research is valid, but with a caveat: One would need to eat about six cups of watermelon to get enough citrulline to boost the body's arginine level.

"The problem you have when you eat a lot of watermelon is you tend to run to the bathroom more," Perkins-Veazie said.

Watermelon is a diuretic and was a homeopathic treatment for kidney patients before dialysis became widespread.

Another issue is the amount of sugar that much watermelon would spill into the bloodstream — a jolt that could cause cramping, Perkins-Veazie said.

Patil said he would like to do future studies on how to reduce the sugar content in watermelon.

The relationship between citrulline and arginine might also prove helpful to those who are obese or suffer from type-2 diabetes. The beneficial effects — among them the ability to relax blood vessels, much like Viagra does — are beginning to be revealed in research.

Citrulline is present in other curcubits, like cucumbers and cantaloupe, at very low levels, and in the milk protein casein. The highest concentrations of citrulline are found in walnut seedlings, Perkins-Veazie said.

"But they're bitter and most people don't want to eat them," she said.

I find this story interesting mainly because I once had a fraternity brother tell me and another little sister about how he and his friends used to screw watermelons in the field when they were boys. He told us how the watermelons made wonderful fuck toys because they'd get nice and warm from baking in the sun. So these inventive kids would bore holes into the melons and then insert their penises for some sexy times. Apparently, it's almost like the real thing. However, not as much as the real thing as the time he screwed a cow. After that story, I pretty much stayed as far away from that dude as possible. After all, what if there's a dick version of mad cow disease. I didn't need to see that shit.

The show is over.

2008-07-01T09:46:00.002-04:00

Here's the cast photo from A Flea in Her Ear, which I just finished. I'm the maid...again. I don't know why I keep ending up as the maid. At any rate, it was a really fun show with lots of door slamming and sexual innuendo. Just the way I like it. The cast was a great bunch of people, except for one person who found the need to try and direct everyone. My general thought is if you want to direct, then volunteer to direct a show; otherwise, keep your half-wit pie hole shut tight as a seal's anus. However, even that didn't keep most of the people from enjoying themselves. Next time I'm in a play, I will contrive to kill the maid.

I need my fix. I'm hurting here.

2008-06-19T09:20:00.003-04:00

K, so I just finished watching the season three finale for Supernatural, which is the latest show I've discovered on the Internet and have become addicted to watching. See, I don't have a schedule that allows me to watch network television like normal people, and if it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't be able to watch anything other than the kids programming that's usually showing on our boob tube. Anyway, I'll find a show and watch it all the way through until I'm caught up to the current episode. So I spend several days or weeks watching a show and then all of a sudden it's over and then I have to start waiting a week like everyone else. What's funny about watching shows this way is that you get so used to watching these characters, you start feeling like they're people you really know because you end up seeing them practically everyday. Then when there's nothing left to watch, there's just this void. This is where I am with Supernatural. It's the same way I ended up feeling when I watched all of Dexter and Psych, too. Seriously, I think this is what withdrawal must be like because I feel sad, like I've lost something. Of course, I could always go back and rewatch episodes, but it's just not the way I do things. And since it's summer, I've got to wait until the fall to start up with any of these shows. All I can say is, "Aaaarrgh!!!!"

It's good to know these things.

2008-06-08T11:24:00.005-04:00

This is a picture of the new dog food I bought for my pooch. I mainly bought it for the name: Hunk of Beef. How can you pass up a can of dog food that proclaims itself to be Hunk of Beef? The only way they could have made it better would have been to name it Hunk o' Beef. At any rate, my dog sucked this stuff down like it was crack cocaine, as I imagined she would. So, I started reading the label to see if it really was hunk of beef in the can and I noticed this interesting bit of information.

Here, let me blow it up for you in case you're missing it.

You see it circled in red there? This dog food is kosher, which is really, really good to know because I would not want my dog offending God with the food she eats. Now, as far as I can see, there are only two logical reasons for this dog food to be kosher, either it really does matter what one's dog eats at Passover or the company is telling Jewish people they can serve up this fine cuisine for Seder. Neither explanation sits very well with me. However, I did also notice that up in the high left-hand corner the label says the food is not intended for human consumption, so I guess it's all about having holy dog, which is God spelled backward. I smell conspiracy.

Loves it.

2008-05-27T10:32:00.002-04:00

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Dang, I wish I came up with that prank. More secrets here.

What kind of GD sickness is at work here?

2008-05-27T09:06:00.003-04:00

http://medicaladoptions.com/index.php

Apparently, this is an organization that arranges adoptions for people who need organs. I don't know about you, but this is all kinds of warped and twisted to me. These children are being bartered like sacks of grain if you ask me. I only hope this website is a joke. A sick, disgusting joke, but a joke is better than thinking people actually do this.

Podcast #24

2008-05-21T14:29:00.001-04:00

I must say goodbye to another one of my beautiful girls. Life is so cruel, but not nearly as cruel as the the dirt we dish.

powered by ODEO

My Chinese Horoscope from Facebook

2008-05-21T09:06:00.001-04:00

"Don't try to repress your sexual fantasies; you'll need them to sustain and intensify your libido."

Excellent. I'm ordering the nipple clamps right now.

The best Mother's Day gift of all.

2008-05-11T09:13:00.002-04:00

This is the card my daughter gave me this morning. As you can see, my daughter really, really understands my needs. It's moments like this that make me feel like I'm doing my job right.

It's true. I am brutal.

2008-05-09T13:26:00.002-04:00

Your Score: Capitalist Pig

You are 71% Rational, 85% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Capitalist Pig! This means that you are less emotional than most, focusing more on logic. You are also more selfish, greedy, and care very little for the well-being of others, hence you probably hold capitalistic political views. This also means that you are particularly swinish, willing to grouse in any amount of shit for your own gain, and obese with greed. You are also an extrovert, like most of the people in the hallmark capitalistic country of America. Despite these traits, you are surprisingly not very arrogant, tending to view yourself as equal to others, just like the principle of Democracy in America. Which seems strange given that you are so mean and brutal to others at times. But despite your intentions to see others as equal, and to not be an arrogant twat, it must always be remembered that while all animals are created equal, some are more equal than others--the pigs being more equal. So while you may not be full of yourself, you certainly don't treat others with the respect they deserve. So like any farmyard pig, you are greedy, noisy, and don't care about others. The only difference between you and a pig is that you are more rational and intelligent. In conclusion, your personality defect is that you are a bit too logical, rather unemotional, way too extroverted, and also very brutal in regards to others. You may even be a bit insecure about yourself, little piggy. But at least you're not a platypus. It must suck to be a platypus, you know? All those identity issues.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Take a bite out of crime.

2008-05-01T09:31:00.002-04:00

I watched a really interesting movie last night called Teeth. It's a comic horror movie about a teenage girl who finds she is in possession of vagina dentata, or vaginal teeth. The movie was really well done, in my opinion, and the acting was wonderful. Now, before watching this movie I'd never heard of vagina dentata, but it turns out to be a fairly common myth that appears in many cultures. Most people seem to attribute the origins of this myth to a male fear of intercourse and female sexuality. It would appear, reading these explanations, that men harbor some kind of real, deep-seeded dread that anytime they have sex with a woman, they're going to pull back a bloody nub instead of a penis. I, of course, find this all hysterical--probably because I'm an evil bitch at my very core. At any rate, the movie basically uses the myth to explore the heroine's burgeoning (and poorly understood) sexuality. She is a virgin who leads a local group of young people who pledge abstinence until marriage. However, her sacred vow is put to the test when she meets a new boy in town who fills her feelings she just doesn't understand. Unfortunately, during a romantic swim at a local watering hole, the boy becomes overwhelmed with his own lust and rapes her. This is when, to her horror (and especially the boy's) the heroine learns of her extra set of choppers. Let me just say part of what makes this film really funny is its commitment to showing all the gory details. I think you get what I mean. Traumatized by what has happened, the heroine attempts to come to grips with and comprehend her unique anatomy; however, not before other unscrupulous men (including a less-than-professional gynecologist) learn her secret the hard way. Go watch this film. It's good. It's hysterical. It's heartbreaking, but not for the reasons you might think. I give it two thumbs up.

Evolution of Dance

2008-04-30T08:54:00.001-04:00

I don't know who this guy is, but he's freaking funny as hell.

Happy Anniversary to me.

2008-04-25T10:54:00.005-04:00

I just realized that his month marks the five-year anniversary of this blog. That's amazing to me because it sure as hell doesn't seem like I've been posting to this thing for five years. I'm going to say the main reason for that is due to the fact that my life seems exactly the same as it did five years ago. Damn, I've gotta shake things up. I'm going to Vegas. Blogger should give me some kind of prize like a gold watch, or a free computer, or a million dollars or something. Yo, Blogger!!! Give me something!

Are you lying?

2008-04-25T09:25:00.002-04:00

Interesting article on a study where researchers studied emotional reaction on a person's face.

Lying? Your face will give you away: study

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Liars might think they are good at covering up their deceit but a new Canadian study shows there's one thing they can't control that will give them away -- flashes of emotion in their faces.

Researchers at Dalhousie University's Forensic Psychology Lab in Halifax conducted the first detailed study on the secrets revealed when people put on a false face or inhibit various emotions, and found their faces told the truth.

But instead of clues like shifty eyes or sweaty brows, their expression would crack briefly, allowing displays of true emotions such as happiness, sadness, disgust and fear to come through.

"Unlike body language, you can't monitor or completely control what's going on your face," Stephen Porter, who worked on the research, said in a statement.

The researchers, who reported their findings in journal Psychological Science, examined the case of Canadian Michael White who sobbed as he made a public appeal for the return of his missing pregnant wife Liana White in July 2005.

But three days later, flashes of anger broke through his sadness and he said he was so frustrated with the police that he was going to find his wife himself, leading volunteer searchers directly to her body in a ditch on the outskirts of Edmonton.

He was charged and convicted of second-degree murder.

When Porter and his team analyzed White's plea frame by frame, they found hints of anger and disgust in his face, not noticed by most of the public.

The researchers also studied adult who were asked to view images that ranged from happy (puppies playing) to fearful (a close-up of open-mouthed rabid dog) and disgusting (a severed hand).

They were told to respond with genuine or deceptive expressions and their reactions recorded.

Porter said no one was able to falsify emotions perfectly. Some emotions were harder to fake than others. Happiness was easier to fake than disgust or fear.

Personally, I'm the perfect liar because I always think what I say is true. Really.